Chapter Two

Emily Collin - June 5th 2014

Clinic's were always so cold and made you feel all weird inside, an uneasiness that set your fears on high and I didn't like it.

I never did, to be honest.

“Hi,” I greet the old grey haired woman who looks much too tired to function that I almost feel bad for her, almost just not fully. “My name is Emily Collins. I'm here for my checkup?” I say once the woman whose tag states, jemma, across it.

She sends me a warm and kind smile, nodding her head, she gestures for me to take a seat and I do.

I watch in silence as she taps away on her computer screen, busy with important work maybe and her old fashioned glasses looks ready to fall off her face any second now. I can practically hear the sound of it banging against that steel desk and I shudder.

“Em,” my nickname is called and I turn my head to the side. “I got us coffee.” Jasmine beams, waving two plastic cups in the air.

She stops in front of me, blocking me from watching jemma working as she offers me a steamy cup and I smile up at her, grateful for her kindness.

The hot cup immediately warms my cold hands, almost burning my pale skin. I rest the plastic between my sweatpant covered thighs, allowing the heat to warm up my cold legs and then I shiver, wrapping and pulling the fluffy coat tighter around my small frame.

I eye the unfamiliar clinic once more and quietly sigh to myself. This is crazy. Recently I haven't been feeling good, at all.

Nine days, twelve hours, thirty minutes, twenty seconds.

Yes, I did count.

The girl seated beside me bounces her legs. She stays across from my apartment and she's also the girl I've become extremely close with since I've been here. She was the one who demanded us to come here today, to see the doctor, apparently I am a different kind of sick, whatever that means.

Her hand reaches out for mine, squeezing gently.

“You know, whatever happens in there. . . just know that I'm always going to be here for you, regardless. No matter what. . . you're my best friend.” She sincerely says, smiling at me.

I laugh lightly, waving her away. “It's just a cold, you'll see.” I state, still thankful for her sweet words though.

“Thank you, jas. I know that and I'm so thankful and appreciative of you. Thank you.” I smile, hugging her and this time she chuckles, dramatically waving me off and nodding her head.

“Yeah I know I'm awesome.”

“You're are.”

F L A S H B A C K

It's raining here, again, in the park but I like it actually because from where I'm seated, it's an awesome view, even through blurry eyes. 

The old wooden bench that I'm seated on is soaked, drenched in rain water and so am I, sitting here all alone with my thoughts and that isn't always a good thing for me, especially since I've been here for the past couple hours now. Before the rain. 

I am definitely going to get sick from this. 

Right now though, I couldn't care less about that but I know that somewhere deep inside, I should care... I really should get up and leave, get back to my warm and cozy apartment and fall asleep.

Of course, I don't listen to myself.

I want to stay here, in the rain because I've come to love this kind of weather, the wet and sad kind. It reminds me of myself because I, too, am sad, so sad it's miserable. Although is it weird that I like the rain but not the cold? It is, isn't it? I prefer the rain. I'm able to cry in peace when it rains, without any disturbances.

It would be fucking hilarious if someone were to see me, sitting here alone and crying like a little baby on a normal sunny day. But in the rain?

Nobody knows you're crying away your pain.

They can't hear the whimpers or sobs and they definitely can't see the fat tears running down my face.

In rain, I'm free and can cry in peace.

And weirdly that makes me slightly happy.

I'm crying because I'm mourning, if that makes sense. I'm mourning the death of my old self, the loss of my family and friends, basically everything.

“You're an asshole, Derrick!” A voice yells over the rain and I jump, shocked out of my thoughts. “I can't believe you. I gave you my milkshake and everything! Just yesterday, oh my god! You don't deserve such greatness.” The voice sounds female.

My eyes focus on the nearby figure, walking towards me as I listen to her continue cursing whoever is on the other side of that phone call.

Somehow I find myself laughing.

“Oh my god! Are you eavesdropping on me?”

I nearly jump over the dammed bench at the sudden nearness of the stranger and at her question, obviously directed at me. I didn't expect her to actually hear me laughing. I wasn't that loud, was I?

“What?” I fake chuckle, looking confused, I shake my head no, twice. “N-no I wasn't!” I lie.

Hazel.

It's the first thing I really notice about her.

It's her hazel colored eyes.

They narrow at me, suspiciously, her eyes scan and access me, almost as if she's about to call bullshit on me but she doesn't and her eyes stay focused on me.

I awkwardly shift in my seat until I've had enough of her weird behavior. I clear my throat, successfully gaining her attention and snapping her out of whatever trance she seemed to be in.

The girl shakes her head and decides to glare at me before plopping down right next to me, trying to cover us both under her funky umbrella.

I smile at her kindness and thoughtfulness but I don't want or need the shelter. I want to be drenched.

“My name is Jasmine.” She beams after covering us.

But I'm way too shocked to speak or tell her my own name, the fake one, because I know I'm openly gaping at her. She is just so pretty! Beautiful even. She almost reminds me of the princess jasmine but only this girl is much prettier than the cartoon version.

She has to be one of the most gorgeous girls that I've ever seen and I've been around models before.

Her hair is light brown, almost matching her eye color. It's curly, so freaking curly and it has these cute and tiny ringlets framing her face.

I am so jealous, I swear.

“Because if you were then it's totally fine.”

I frown. “Huh?”

She waves her hand. “I eavesdrop too! Like a lot.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah so no biggie or anything. . . sooo, why are you sitting here all alone in the rain? That's kind of depressing, you know, something like a movie.”

I chuckle, smiling. I nod my head in agreement, come to think of it, it definitely is like a movie and not just this bench scene, practically my whole life has been one big disastrous movie.

“Uhmm. . . I just needed some air, I guess, and some time to myself too, to think, yes to think. Who is Derrick?” I stumble over my words.

She smirks at me, knowingly.

“Aha!” She shouts, happy, pointing at me as if she had just won the lottery. “Indeed, you were eavesdropping!”

“No...”

“Yeah,”

“No.”

“Uh, yeah you were.”

“Uh, no I wasn't.”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“No.”

“Yes-- no, I mean no! Stop that!”

Jasmine smiles proudly and her smile makes me smile. “His just some dickhead ex of mine. Can you believe I gave him my milkshake yesterday? I never share with anyone. I mean, if I knew he was some playa then I would never have batted my lashes.”

Laughing at her words, I can't help but think, you're sharing your shelter with me right now though.

She nods her head, curls bouncing as she does and she sighs, swatting away her hair. “Why are you crying though?” She questions, turning to look at me curiously and expectingly.

I nearly choke on air at the question as tons of other questions start rushing to my cluttered mind. Was I too loud? It can't be. I know I don't cry loudly. I've had practice from my past so I know better.

“W--what?”

She scrunchs her nose at me. “It's fine.”

“You'll tell me one day and I'll be there to listen. I can already tell we're going to be good friends!”

“Good because I'm hungry and I think a burger and milkshake will do me good right about now.”

Her eyes widen and she grins, tugging on my hand to stand up with her. “C'mon then. I know this amazing place!” she says, dragging me with her.

“My name is Emily, by the way.”

E N D

F L A S H B A C K

“Emily Collins?”

I glance at the woman behind the desk and she nods over to the doctors door, smiling at me and I nod my head in understanding before getting up.

A woman in a white lab coat greets me with another smile as I enter through the white door and immediately she starts her questions and starts running test. It doesn't take her long to figure out what's wrong with me and give me the verdict.

“Congratulations, you're eight weeks pregnant!”