I'm No Heroine

I would tilt my head back and look at the sky for a long time.

Whenever I did this, the aunts at the orphanage would secretly discuss whether I had a low IQ. They never avoided me.

While the other children were playing hide and seek or with toys, I was always alone and lost in thought. It wasn't that I was stupid, it was just that I didn't fit in because I no longer had the IQ of a six-year-old.

I was also in my twenties in terms of my previous life! It was torture for a twenty-year-old adult to play in the mud with unhygienic children!

At that moment there was a loud noise of a horse-drawn carriage outside the yard. It must be the arrival of a new adoptive family. An aunt came running, grabbed me and dragged me back inside.

It hurt so much! Why did they have to use so much force on a six-year-old?

They always did that. When the adopters came, they would hide the valuable children and display the ordinary ones outside. If the adopters were rich people, like aristocrats or wealthy merchants, I and a few other prettier children would be dressed in clean clothes, dragged out and shown around to see if we could be sold for a good price.

There were also nice couples who liked me, but they couldn't afford to buy me. My price tag was very high and I was the treasure of the shop.

Hey,'

I let out an involuntary sigh and my aunt, who was holding me, gave me an inexplicable blank look. She couldn't understand why a child should sound so world-weary. There was nothing I could do; fate had really treated me unfairly.

In my former life I was an orphan. I didn't have enough to eat or wear, and I worked and went to school to support a miserable life. I was so busy that I couldn't even look up to see the sky when I had time to spare.

I couldn't see any hope in my painful life, until one day a lorry drove towards the little black cat I often fed.

At that moment I saw an exit, a glimmer of light. I ran to save the kitten and the last thing I felt was its soft fur.

Come to think of it, I wasn't rushing out to save lives in some fearless spirit of self-sacrifice. I was simply trying to escape my own suffering.

Perhaps fate was punishing me in this way. I was reborn an orphan once again.

Creak!

The creaking of the old door of the dilapidated orphanage woke me from my reverie. The director's face, full of cross-bite lines, poked its way in. He looked surprisingly happy, which was unusual, which meant that the adoptive parents who had come that day were exceptionally wealthy.

Quickly! Get them all out! Hurry up! No need to change!

The aunt holding me lightly patted my face with the back of her hand, as if to say, 'Behave and smile.

I really hated it, but even if you didn't, I'd pretend to!

I'm not completely unmotivated, and if there's a chance of being adopted by a rich family, of course I'll try my best!

So I tried to open my eyes wide to make them sparkle, and walked out the door as innocently as I could.

It's OK, I'm only six years old, there's no shame in it!

Outside was not the handsome couple I'd imagined, but a boy dressed like a nobleman who looked like he was in his teens, with a couple of servants standing not far behind him.

The boy had dark hair and red eyes, with delicate doll-like cheeks. He had a kind of noble air about him that stood out, and he didn't fit in at all in the run-down courtyard of the orphanage. He just stood there, not moving, and I could almost hear the Second Piano Concerto playing in the background. He was so handsome that he came with his own soundtrack.

But it was also the first time I had seen my underage adoptive parent. It was strange for a child to adopt a child, and I would never understand the minds of the rich.

The boy glanced quickly past the other children, his gorgeous bloodshot eyes fixed on my face. The director rubbed his hands together in a sign of understanding and came over to me, eager to show me his expensive individual.

'This child is called... um...'

You've forgotten, haven't you? You're a greedy bastard.

It doesn't matter,'

the boy interrupted his recollection, not even giving the director a glance.

He took a step forward and studied me closely. There was a smile on his fair, delicate cheeks, but it wasn't warm, and it made me cringe.

'From today your name is Inette.

It sounded familiar, but it was also quite nice. The names I had been given at the orphanage had been so random, and they had always been names like the one the lady with the shaggy dog at the gate had given her dog.

The attendant behind the boy handed a heavy silk bag to the headmaster, who took it and carefully untied the string. I could almost see a large part of his face illuminated by a golden light, and he lost his words with his mouth open like a greedy toad.

I have never been adopted, but I know that the normal process is definitely not like this. Compared to adoption, the transaction that had just taken place was closer to human trafficking.

The boy turned and walked away, back to the carriage. I was still standing there, speechless. I didn't think he would leave without even introducing himself. He really didn't take me as a person.

I was almost knocked down by my aunt behind me and I hurriedly took a few steps forward to catch up with him.

What a rude man! If I had a bruised face, the bag of gold coins would lose at least half its weight!

I followed the boy as he tried to get into the carriage, but was stopped by the servant behind him. He led me to the second carriage, which was a little simpler. It wasn't until I was seated that I realised it wasn't so easy to get on in a rich family. It looked as if my emotional intelligence wouldn't help me get along here either.

I looked through the carriage window at the orphanage, so small and run down, the courtyard overgrown with weeds, and there were safety hazards everywhere. Only a few children looked at me enviously, the headmaster had long since left with his gold coins in his arms, and the aunts had all gone back inside, leaving not a single person to keep an eye on the children.

This scene made me miss the orphanage of my former life a little. No comparison, no harm. Although the orphanage in my previous life was also poor, the director was a kind old man. Although there were few carers, there were always many pretty sisters who came to volunteer. They were all very kind and read me story books.

My favourite was... um...

What? I can't remember her name. I'm so thoughtless. But right now I remember her smiling face. It's a beautiful image that makes me feel more relaxed than any fairy tale.

I wonder if she'll cry when she hears the news that I'm dead.

***

Inet stumbled towards the door, each step bringing excruciating pain. She could no longer support her body and collapsed by the round fountain in the middle of the garden.

Tears mixed with blood and dripped into the crystal clear water, scattering her own reflection.

She finally understood that Elio had planned everything from the beginning.

From the moment of their first meeting, when she shyly looked at the boy who would adopt her with expectant eyes, imagining a happy life as brother and sister in the future, he had already written the script for her death...

And that day was the premiere.