32. That Name Again

Maria's POV 

I didn’t even wait for Luca to say anything. I just got up and left. I walked past Alex on the way out and didn’t stop even when he called my name.

“Maria?”

I didn’t answer him. I didn’t have the energy. I went straight to my room and slammed the door. Locked it. I needed to be alone right now.

I sat on the bed, my chest tight. Alexa again.

It didn’t matter how pleased Luca was—to think that I loved that I was making him tickle for me. Then he called her name again.

When that name left his mouth, it felt like he took a knife and carved it into my chest. He wasn’t thinking of me in that moment. He was thinking of her.

I laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, then rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. I didn’t want to cry. Not over this.

But still, the thoughts kept coming.

Maybe he never actually loved me. Maybe I was just something to help him forget her. A body. A mouth. A warm place to hide from the pain she left him with.

That thought made me angry. Not just at Luca, but at myself too. Because I let myself care. I let myself fall. And now it feels like I was just filling in a space someone else already took.

It reminded me of Liam. 

How I thought I was special to him, only to find out I was just part of whatever game he was playing. 

He probably used me because he couldn’t have something else. I didn’t know what it was—maybe a dream, maybe a person—but I was never it.

I was just a distraction. Maybe even a joke.

I sat up. My chest burned with anger and shame. I hated how it felt.

I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I didn’t wait for it to warm up—I set it to the highest heat and stepped in, letting the water burn my skin.

I closed my eyes and stood there, letting it burn. It hurt, but I didn’t stop it. It was better than crying. It made me feel something real.

“I’m not going to cry over this,” I told myself again. “I’m not.”

Luca’s probably grieving. That’s all. He just found out Alexa is dead. Of course, he’d miss her. Of course, he’d still think about her. If he truly loved her, I can’t blame him. It doesn’t mean I don’t matter. Right?

I sighed and leaned my head against the cold tile. I remembered what it felt like when I was trying to forget Liam. It was hard. 

The nights were the worst. The silence made my head scream. But I didn’t have anyone to hold me then. No one came to pull me out. Until Luca.

But now, maybe I was just his someone. The way he was mine. A placeholder. A fix.

I thought about pleasing myself—maybe that would distract me—but the thought of Liam just pissed me off. He didn’t deserve that kind of attention. 

He was in the past. He could rot there.

I could think of Alex instead, but no. That boy’s too sweet, too loyal, too close. I wasn’t about to drag him into this mess. I’d ruin him. And I’ve had enough of ruining things.

I washed myself fast and stepped out. Dried off and threw on a long shirt and shorts. I was hungry. My body felt light, like I hadn’t eaten in hours. So I left the room and went downstairs.

“Louisa?” I called softly as I walked into the kitchen. “Is there anything to eat?”

She turned from where she was wiping the counter. “I can make something quick for you, if you’d like.”

“That’d be perfect. Thank you.” I gave her a small smile.

“Would you like some fruit while I get started?”

“Yes, please.”

Before she could move, there was a knock at the front door. Louisa frowned a little and went to open it.

I heard voices, but I couldn’t make them out clearly. A few seconds later, Louisa walked back in with a look that made me pause.

“I’m sorry, Maria,” she said. “Can you give me a moment? Some men are here, they said it’s urgent.”

She turned and walked off before I could say much else.

Curious, I peeked around the corner. A man stood just inside the doorway, one of Luca’s men I’d seen around. But with him were two men I’d never seen before. 

They didn’t look too friendly. Their suits were quite clean, their faces hard. The kind of men that never showed up without a reason.

Louisa was calm, speaking to them in a perfect English accent. No trace of Italian.

I stepped into the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and started peeling an orange. I wasn’t about to be caught off guard if things went bad. I didn’t trust them, even if they came in with one of Luca’s people.

I cut slowly, watching the juice drip onto the plate. The men didn’t move. They just stood, waiting.

Louisa returned and smiled politely. “Mr. De Rossi will be here shortly.”

Seconds later, I heard footsteps. Luca came into the room, Alex right behind him. I felt his eyes on me but didn’t look at him. I kept my focus on the orange.

The taller of the two men stepped forward. “Sorry for the intrusion,” he said. “I’m Marcus. This is Phil. We just need to ask a few questions.”

“Am I under arrest?” Luca asked, voice calm but sharp.

“No. Not at all. We just want to ask about Alexa Romano.”

I flinched.

That name again.

My eyes lifted just for a second. Luca was looking at me.

He heard it too. Felt it. He knew it was coming up too often.

I dropped my eyes again.

“Follow me,” Luca said, leading the men toward his study.

As they left, I stayed in the kitchen, still peeling the fruit. The juice poured into my hand, but I didn’t stop. I just allowed it.

I stared at the door they all went through.

Alexa.

Seems I'm going to be hearing that name more often than before.