When His Absence Hurt

CHAPTER SEVEN

For the first time since Maya had moved into Adrian’s house, he gave her exactly what she had thought she wanted.

Space.

After the call with Daniel, Adrian stopped seeking her out. He no longer appeared at the breakfast table every morning with a cup of coffee prepared exactly the way she liked it. He stopped asking whether she had eaten, whether she had slept well, or whether she needed anything before he left for work.

He didn't avoid her deliberately. At least, that was what Maya kept telling herself. He was simply giving her room.

And somehow, that hurt more than she expected.

On Monday morning, Maya walked into the dining room expecting to find Adrian sitting at the head of the table, his sleeves rolled up as he went through emails on his phone.

The chair was empty. She slowed down. Her eyes moved toward the kitchen, he wasn't there.

The housekeeper placed breakfast on the table and smiled politely.

“Mr. Adrian already left, ma'am.”

Maya's fingers tightened around the back of the chair.

“Oh.”

That was all she managed. She sat down and stared at the untouched plate in front of her.

Adrian had always left early, but lately he had made a point of saying goodbye. Sometimes it was nothing more than a brief, “Have a good day, Maya.”

Sometimes he would remind her that he would be home before dinner. Now there was nothing. She picked up her fork and pushed a piece of toast around her plate.

This is what you wanted. She reminded herself.

After the kiss, she had been terrified of what was happening between them. She had told herself that Adrian needed to keep his distance. She loved Daniel. She had waited seven years for him. Adrian was Daniel's best friend. There were rules. There had to be rules.

So why did she feel as though something had been taken from her? Her phone buzzed. For one ridiculous second, her heart jumped. She grabbed it.

It was a message from Daniel.

Daniel: Sorry, sweetheart. Meeting ran late again. Can we do dinner tomorrow?

Maya stared at the message...Tomorrow.

Again.

She typed a reply, deleted it, then finally wrote:

Maya: Okay.

She placed the phone on the table. The silence around her suddenly felt unbearable.

By Wednesday, Adrian's absence had become impossible to ignore. He was still in the house, but somehow Maya saw less of him than when he had been traveling.

Their schedules seemed designed to keep them apart. When she came downstairs in the morning, he had already left. When she returned from her father's office in the afternoon, he was still at work.

And when he came home at night, Maya was usually already in her bedroom. It should have been easier. Instead, she found herself listening for the sound of his car.

Every evening. She hated herself for it.

One night, she was sitting on the sofa with a book open on her lap when she heard the familiar sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

Her heart skipped. She immediately sat up. A few seconds later, the front door opened. Adrian walked inside.

His tie was loosened around his neck, and exhaustion showed clearly on his face. Maya watched him from across the room. He looked toward her.

Their eyes met. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Adrian gave her a small nod.

“Good night, Maya.”

He started walking away. Something inside her tightened.

“Adrian.”

He stopped. Maya swallowed. She had no idea what she wanted to say.

Why have you been avoiding me?

Why don't you talk to me anymore?

Why do I miss you?

None of those words came out. Instead, she asked softly, “Did you eat?” Adrian looked at her.

“I'll eat upstairs.”

“Oh.”

Another silence.He turned to leave. Maya lowered her eyes. it seems a cold water was poured over her, Adrian voice was so cold.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

He disappeared up the stairs. Maya remained on the sofa long after he was gone. She pressed a hand against her chest.

“What is wrong with me?” she whispered.

She knew the answer..She just wasn't ready to admit it.

The next morning, Maya woke up earlier than usual.

She walked into the kitchen and stopped when she saw Adrian standing there. He was making coffee.

For a moment, her heart warmed.Then she remembered. He wasn't making it for her.

He poured the coffee into his cup and turned around.

“Maya.”

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

He walked past her, without giving her a smile,or the normal teasing. No question about whether she had slept well.

Maya watched him leave. She suddenly missed the old Adrian.

The Adrian who would sit across from her at breakfast and listen while she complained about her work.

The Adrian who remembered that she hated too much sugar in her coffee.

The Adrian who had once quietly left painkillers and a hot-water bottle outside her bedroom when she had been suffering from cramps, without making her feel embarrassed about needing help.

The Adrian who noticed everything. Now he barely noticed her. And she was beginning to realize how much she had depended on his presence.

She returned to the dining room and sat down. Her phone rang.

Daniel.

Maya's face brightened immediately.

“Hello?”

“Hey, beautiful. I'm sorry I couldn't see you yesterday.”

“You're busy, I understand.”

“I'll make it up to you. I promise.”

She smiled, though there was something hollow inside her.

After the call ended, Maya placed her phone on the table. She looked toward the doorway, thinking about the man she shouldn't even remember.

That afternoon, Daniel finally came to see her.

He arrived with flowers and an apologetic smile, and Maya tried desperately to feel the same excitement she used to feel whenever he walked into a room.

She loved him.

Didn't she?

Daniel wrapped his arms around her.

“I've missed you.”

Maya closed her eyes.

“I've missed you too.”

But even as she said it, another thought slipped into her mind. Adrian would have noticed I was pretending.

She immediately pushed the thought away. Daniel pulled back and looked at her.

“You seem distracted.”

“I'm just tired.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes.”

The lie came too easily. Daniel smiled and kissed her forehead.

“I'll have more time soon. I promise.”

Maya nodded.

She wanted to believe him. She really did. But as Daniel spoke about his business, his meetings, his plans, she found herself thinking about someone else.

Someone who never needed to promise her he would make time. Because Adrian simply did.

That night, Maya couldn't sleep. She turned from one side of the bed to the other, she kept on checking her phone, as if she was waiting for a message to pop up.

She hated that she had checked.

“This is ridiculous.”

She pulled the blanket over herself. A few minutes passed, got up and walked downstairs for water.

As she reached the hallway, she noticed a light coming from the study and stopped.

Adrian was inside. He was sitting behind his desk, staring at some documents. Maya stood there for several seconds.

She could simply walk away. Instead, she knocked softly on the open door.

Adrian looked up.

“Maya?”

“Are you working?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

She stood awkwardly.Adrian waited.

She had come all the way there, but suddenly she couldn't remember why.

Finally, she whispered, “I just wanted to say good night.”

His expression softened slightly.

“Good night, Maya.”

She turned around.

“Maya.”

She looked back.

Adrian's eyes held hers.

“I am giving you space because I thought that's what you needed.”

Her heart pounded.

“I know.”

“I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

“I don't.”

He studied her face.

“Are you sure?”

Maya opened her mouth.

The truth was sitting right there on the tip of her tongue.

I miss you.

But she couldn't say it.

So she nodded.

“Yes.”

Adrian looked away first.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

Maya walked back toward her room. But this time, she didn't feel relieved. She felt empty.

Because she finally understood something that frightened her.

She hadn't been waiting for Adrian to give her space. She had been waiting for him to stop. And now that he had stopped...

she missed him and it terrifies her.