10

10

Bella Reyes

Running was not going to save me now. I knew he would catch up, but I attempted it anyway. Aries Hadid was a hockey player. Running and hitting were practically his day job, something he breathed like air, so it wasn't surprising how quickly he towered over me from behind.

“Bella, wait!” His hand clamped around my wrist so tight that I just wanted to slump to the floor in pure exhaustion.

Or better yet, have the ground open up and swallow me whole. He held me tightly, and when I tried to force a few more steps forward, he loosened his grip slightly, allowing me to walk, but still refusing to let me go.

“Please, listen to me,” he panted, his breath ragged. “You have to listen to me, okay?”

My own breath came in choppy gasps that heaved my chest. I could barely see where I was going, just walking blindly down the corridor.

Why had he fucking announced something like that to the entire student body of Terraria University? Couldn't he have just walked past? Couldn't he have turned around when he saw the commotion, just like he walked out on me that night after taking my virginity, like it meant nothing at all?

“Aries,” I whispered through a clogged nose. “Please, let go of me. I'm begging you.” My voice was eerily calm. I simply didn't have it in me to scream or fight anymore.

I just wanted to leave. Go back to my dorm, and maybe, if it was at all possible, die right there in bed.

My chest burned from the hot tears bathing my heart and my insides, but I couldn't break down here. Not now, and certainly not in front of all these people.

“Bella, at least look at me, please. We need to talk.” He let go of my wrist and stepped around to face me.

My eyes stayed locked onto his chest, refusing to look up at his face or down at his shoes, fixated blindly on the blue fabric of his shirt. I wondered how someone's life could become so miserable overnight.

That same hand, carrying the same warmth and tenderness from a few weeks ago, reached out again. His fingers gently cupped my chin. I felt an overwhelming urge to collapse into his touch and drown it with the misery of my tears, the sheer ruin of my life.

“Bella.” He tilted my face upward so I would have to look at him.

I didn't resist. I had no energy left to fight. But even as my face was brought level with his, I refused to let my blurry vision focus on his gray eyes.

“I fucked her. So what? Do you have a problem with that?”

So casual. So nonchalant. Like a done deal. You shouldn't have a problem with that, right, Tyler?

It should have felt satisfying to watch the horror drain the color from Tyler's face, but why did it hurt so badly inside?

“Why are you here? Why are you doing this to me?” The words sounded like they came from a corpse, so quiet, so completely unlike Bella.

“Doing what?” His brows creased together in confusion. “I'm here because I'm… I've been worried about you. I'm not trying to do anything to you.”

Out of pure reflex, I leaned back and swatted his hand away from my jaw. “There's no need to be worried. I'm fine. Please just stay out of my way going forward. It would really mean the world to me, Aries.” I nodded pathetically, frantically wiping the tears from my cheeks.

I didn't need sympathy from anyone, especially not from him. Even if Tyler was cruel enough to start this whole mess, Aries had gone right along with it. He made me drop my guard, took advantage of me, and now he was standing here pretending to care?

No. He didn't get to shove that kind of hypocritical nonsense in my face.

I took one final look at the gray eyes staring down at me. He could easily deceive anyone with the sympathy and concern painted across his features, but I wasn't the same naive Bella from a few weeks ago.

This Bella was wiser. She could see right through him.

“But I...” He let out a frustration-filled sigh as I sidestepped him. “Bella, I care. I can't just watch you—”

“Stop caring,” I cut in, half turning to face him directly. “Don't care about me for any reason, Aries. If you're feeling guilty about what you did… what happened between us, or if you're afraid I might tell people and taint your perfect image, you don't have to worry. I won't.” I sniffled hard, the sharp ache in my throat making it hard to breathe. It hurt. It fucking hurt so much. “Let me pretend it never happened. That would mean the world to me.”

“But I... I already went out there and said it in front of the whole school!” He threw his hands up, his face flushing red as if I were the one forcing his hand.

As if I had forced him to open his big mouth so callously.

“That is your problem to deal with.”

“It affects you too!” he called out after me as I turned to walk away. “Your reputation is on the line, Bella! It was stupid of me. I shouldn't have—”

I whipped around sharply to face him. “You shouldn't have.”

His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out, only a bitter, disbelieving breath. I nodded at him again, ensuring he felt the full weight of his careless behavior.

He should have used his brain back there in the hallway.

“You really shouldn't have.”

Turning my back on him for good, I walked away. Moments later, I found myself staring at my reflection in the campus restroom mirror, watching my expression twitch right before a sob broke through my throat. I looked at my pale, hollowed features, completely twisted in anguish, as the floodgates finally broke.

“How could I have been so stupid?” I cried out, my voice cracking under the weight of my emotions. “How? My god... Mom would be so fucking proud, wouldn't she?”

I buried my face in my trembling hands, my shivering fingers trying to hide me from the shame of what I had become.

How had I ended up so pathetic and broken?