3 | The Glorious Clofus

ON the first day of college, as usual, there were no lectures. For the new students, they made a fuss. They were noisy about with whom they will spend their time in class in the next four years. That new college students were all staring at the row of blackboards affixed with sheets of paper in the middle of the faculty lobby. There, listed the names of the class members.

Here, at the Clofus campus, almost all majors were available, even the rarest in Indonesia, such as Nuclear Engineering and Javanese Literature. A row of notable people listed as Clofus graduates, such as World Bank’s Managing Director Mrs. Shri Lakhsmi. She also ranked as the 38th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes last year. Then, Mr. Ali Purwacaraka was an Indonesian ambassador in the United Nations. And also, Hendryx, The Boumerank rock superstar.

I studied at the Department of English Literature, Faculty of Letters, alongside Aisha, Julia, Mr. P, and Matt. The last three names received scholarships for the indigents students around the campus from Clofus. While Aisha was the daughter of a wealthy Islamic businessman, and Amelia took Chinese Literature.

Clofus itself was a college founded by the Cloverleaf Indonesia Foundation (CLIF). CLIF was a foundation filled with rich philanthropic people throughout Indonesia. Because of that, Clofus became the most outstanding private university and the most prominent throughout the nation. I believe in Southeast Asia too.

This enormous campus of Clofus consisted of two extensive areas that separated by a river called Kalimas or the Golden River. Kali means river, and Mas refers to gold. The west bank part was called The West Clofus, where social subjects learned. And the east bank part called The East Clofus, where the students learned to understand animal's gestures and made bombs from cold pills, like what McGyver did.

At Clofus, the Department of English Literature itself was the most prestigious in Clofus. Students who failed to pass the entrance exams for public universities are lucky to get a scholarship in this department.

By the way, I did not know what department the half-blooded girl called Kacey was in. My younger sister also registered as a new student in the Department of Japanese Literature. I would interrogate her later.

As far as I knew, most Surabaya campuses use heroic, pride, and chauvinism terminology to their alma mater.

Started with my campus Cloverleaf University of Surabaya or Clofus. Cloverleaf was a traditional-typical culinary from Surabaya. We called cloverleaf 'semanggi'. Then, there was Airlangga University. They used one of Java's most notable kings as their alma mater.

There was also Institute Technology Tenth of November. 10th November in Indonesia was The Day of the Heroes. The day when our father, grandfather, and great grandfathers fought to defend Indonesian independence from Dutch invasion at Surabaya in 1945. That war was called The Battle of Surabaya. That was why Surabaya is also known as the City of Heroes.

Not forget to mention 17th August University. 17th August 1945 was the Indonesian independence day. The day when our founding fathers proclaimed sovereignty from Dutch colonialism.

My adventure, from the campus gate to the food court, was finally ended. After sweeping the scenery, I found Mr. P and Matt sitting cross-legged in the corner between the food court and campus great fence. Yes, the Faculty of Letters position was at the very back west bank corner, adjacent to the resident hutment.

Cigarette smoke was visible behind the kitchen stall. It was a perfect camouflage to disguised cigarette smoke with fried chicken smog in this non-smoking area. Some friends also did similar activities. Since we have held the senior status, that corner is instantly our territory. Previously, the juniors crammed smoking the parking lot.

"Where did you spend your day off, Bro?" asked Mr. P while smoking a cigarette.

"Tour, concert, gigs, you name it," I replied while grabbing my own cigarette.

As a band member, I could travel for free to various parts of the Indonesian archipelago. I was using my half money share from the gig to pay my motorbike installment. The other half, I would spend it for fun.

"Hey!" I asked curious Mr. P while gave him a leaflet from Aisha. "Is that true Saltyville will be evicted?"

Saltyville, Saltycoast Subdistrict was located in the northwestern part of Surabaya, directly adjacent to the Java Sea and Grisee. Inside the Saltyville lies the famous Saltyroth-Dolly brothel complex.

"Yeah," he answered, “there will be a rally tomorrow from the villager refuse the eviction.”

“And you should among them, for sure,” I guessed.

Mr. P only raised his left hand to the air with his intimidating glare. Then, he read the leaflet. Matt took a peek beside Mr. P. He nodded as if he understands the circumstances.

“Yeah, right?” said Mr. P sarcastically while reading the article.

I shook my head and raised my shoulder.

“The fig tree,” Matt suddenly opened his mouth, then blew a circle of smoke from his thick lips.

“Huh?” I surprised. “The fig?”

“There's a fig tree, or a banyan tree grow there,” Mr. P answered my question. "In Indonesia, you usually recognized it as the tin tree.”

“I knew the fig,” I said, “I mean why?”

“In here,” said Mr. P while flicking the leaflet, “grows the last and only fig tree in this metro city."

Before I continue my curiosity, I could see the crossbreed girl walking with her friends from a distance. If I drew a straight line, it looks like they are going to this food court too.

"Who is she?" I asked leaving my curiosity behind. "I mean, that crossbreed girl?"

"Oh!" Mr. P responded calmly, "she's Kacey. She lived in Grand Royal Family."

I did not surprise that Mr. P finds out who she is. Then, he told me that the other senior student also talked about that half-blooded girl. I had never doubted his intelligence work. Mr. P was reliable.

Mr. P then predicted Kacey would win The Next College Idol Award this year. That award itself was given to the girl who had the most success driving the boys crazy over her through the year. This unofficial title was the highest award from us--men--to women at Clofus campus. We acted as hosts as well as judges.

From throughout the faculty in Clofus, the Faculty of Letters was where the most beautiful young lady studied and spread their pheromones. The criteria were simple, beautiful, and hot. Julia was the defending champion for the last four years. I agreed Kacey would be Julia's most serious challenger.

"I knew that expression," accuse Mr. P to my grinning face.

Indeed, Grand Royal Family real estate was one of the premium residential besides Citraland--The Singapore of Surabaya. Grand Royal Family was located in the western part of Surabaya.

There, where the bosses generally lived. For example, board members, directors of shipping companies, national construction tycoon, to state-owned enterprise commissioners. All owned houses there. I knew because one of my friends lived there. His father was an expatriate. I just remembered that my friend also went to Clofus.

Then, I wondered to Mr. P and Matt where were the other English Literature senior students. They took turns calling the names of bad boys such as Rooney, Muck, and Flatty, whose trunk had not seen yet. But, the LGBT Gang were already visible. They were Leah, Gary, Brittany, and Tiffany.

I looked at my digital watch, and it was almost 8 A. M. It was time to go to the classroom. After putting out the cigarette, I, Mr. P, and Matt gone to the class.

Inside the big classroom, many students were ready to open their books as if there was a lecture. I sighed before I got in.

Then, my pheromone radar captured an overwhelming lustful fragrance exposed in the air. Came from nowhere, Leah put her index finger on my lips, Gary blew me a kiss, Brittany moaned, and Tiffany slaps my ass. They walked past me as if nothing happens.

Oh ladies, come on! I meant just the ladies. Rewind, please! I did not ready yet! Gary, please stay away from me.

Oh shit! Julia was watching. Aisha too. Damn!

Then, I jogged to sit in the back chair, but not the one in the corner. Apparently, Rooney, Muck, and Flatty have been haunting around the class.

"What animal has the head of a lion, the body of a mouse, legs of a duck, and tail of a horse?" asked Mr. P to his audience.

The class was rowdy, thinking aloud about what animal has those characteristics? Mr. P is indeed a comedian. He could always break the ice. In that way, class members could get along with each other all the time, while Matt was still confused about choosing where he should put his heavy ass.

"Give up!" said one of the quiz takers.

"Don't bother; there are no animals like that. Why you all thinking aloud," said Mr. P.

A moment later, he harvested stationery.

Amid the commotion, a MILF entered the classroom. Suddenly, the cheerful atmosphere became wicked gloom. We all recognized her. This MILF was a famous cruel lecturer in the Faculty of Letters. We could feel her hunting mode was activated. Even thug students did not dare to challenge her stare.

Her name was Pandam. I did not know if she already married or not? I did not care. I just focused on what most normal men attract. Her dense breast!

"Morning," she greeted in short.

"Yeah, whatever, blah blah blah!" we were mumbled lazy reply to her.

I believed in my heart all of us who have been under her guidance was giggling. Her Pandam name has almost the same pronounce as Jean Claude Van Damme, one of the famous Hollywood action film actors. That was what we called her. Despite all that, for me, Madam Van Damme was an excellent Cross-Cultural Understanding lecturer. I meant the best one.

"I'm the current head of the English Literature Department," she added.

Oh, my goat! It means that we would often interact. Then Madam Van Damme continued to explain what happens in her class a year forward. I was not interested in following her explanation.

I prefer to daydream about Aisha, Kacey, and Julia. Amelia also sneaked in. How God created such amazing women? Just being a boyfriend for one of them was my honor. Then, the LGBT Gang suddenly came across my dream too. I did not mind, but Gary.

I liked Aisha because of her tenderness and determination. That meant, to steal her heart, I had to devour books such as the Bukhari and Riyadhus Salihin Hadith Collection. I liked Kacey because she would be a college sweetheart. The challenge was, she was the rich half-blooded princess, while I am just a commoner. For Julia, her body was indeed numero uno. Amelia? I did not decide yet.

After a while, I saw friends from other classes walking towards the stairs in droves. It was the symptoms of no lecture. Apart from the red date, there was nothing happier for a student more than no class.

"Am I clear?" said Madam Van Damme.

No need to thought twice. All students immediately stood up, ready to leave the classroom. Just about to go through the door, I was summoned by Madam Van Damme.

"Lang!" she called me.

Shit! What was it that am I being called by that action film actor? Hopefully, not to be her sparring partner to practice mixed martial arts.

"There will be a drugs counseling seminar invitation from the NNA (National Narcotics Agency) at Grand Wahid Hotel tomorrow," explained Ms. Van Damme. "You go!"

"Ready Ma’am!" I said yes, "but why me?"

"You're in a band, right?" she replied.

What was the relationship between band players and drug counseling? Okay, many well-known band personnel were involved in these illicit items. But, did not the invitations are usually for students who known to be smart? For example, Amelia?

"All major are invited. You represent the English Department."

"Yes, Ma’am!" I did not dare to refuse her order.

After that, I immediately left. Mr. P and Matt followed me to the parking lot. I told them that I did not join them at the coffee stall.

I had a band practice schedule. There was no activity more enjoyable than playing a musical instrument. Apart from Julia, playing a musical instrument could make me release energy that I could not channel.

"You two go," I said.

"Okay," said Mr. P. "May we borrowed twenty thousand for coffee and cigarettes."

Lending money to a college friend's was the same as giving alms. Just let it gone because it most likely would not be returned. However, I have no thoughts of lending or giving alms to my friends. My money was their money too.

"Here," I gave Mr. P of twenty thousand rupiahs or two in dollar US.

Later that afternoon, I did not meet Aisha, Kacey, Amelia, neither Julia. Maybe they already went home. So, I immediately got on my automatic motorbike and straight away drove to the music studio.

Yeah! Let's made some fuck'n noise!