Eleni“Okay, this might feel a little strange. Just take a deep breath.” Dr. Hanna inserts the ultrasound wand, the very last step of the appointment.I breathe through the weirdness, and a grainy, black-and-white picture pops up on the screen. In the middle of a big patch of darkness sits a little grain of white.“There’s your baby,” she says quietly. “It’s too early to tell sex, but do you see right there?” She points to another bump on the screen.I lean closer. Dante holds onto my hand like a lifeboat in a storm. “Yeah?”“That’s an eye.” She smiles at me. “You’re right on track, nine weeks pregnant.”I nod. The picture on the screen is…strange. It doesn’t look like a baby yet. It looks like the thing they show pregnant women on TV that makes them cry.Dr. Hanna looks at me for a moment. “Let me guess. You haven’t started showing yet, and you’re young, so you’re having trouble believing you’re really going to give birth.”I bite my lip. “You could do the maternal a little less well
DanteA couple days after El’s first ob-gyn appointment, I pull up in front of the same stupid diner Henry keeps insisting we meet at. He called me in the dead of the goddamn night, like I’m not busy, and insisted we meet. Finally, I was able to talk him around to doing this at the crack of fucking dawn, so at least I didn’t have to leave my pregnant fiancée before she woke up. I can see him sitting at the same table as always, but I pull out my phone. Let him sweat.A few notifications, nothing particularly exciting. I open the one from Tony and skim it, then smile. Third Russian hangout down, more bodies floating in the Hudson. I’ve been letting him mostly run that while I focus on getting regular operations up to snuff, and he’s been crushing it. The other day, I even saw Wing smile. He’s turning out to be much better at handling our “allies” than I thought he would be.With a sigh, I pocket my phone and slide out of the car. We might be locked in mutually-assured destruction, but
EleniThat weekend, I lean my head back against the chair at the head of the circle and try to pretend like I’m listening to what Wife #12 has to say. I know her name. I know I know it. But Nicky insisted on brunch for this meeting, and the omelet Val has balanced on her lap is really testing the boundaries of my control over my stomach. I suck in a slow breath through my mouth, then exhale through my nose as one of the many, many parenting and pregnancy books Dr. Hanna suggested told me to. It doesn’t help.“…and that’s why I think you should have the wedding here,” she finishes.“In the backyard?” Nicky asks incredulously. “Like they’re hippies?”Wife #12 pouts. “If you’d listened, you’d know I considered that and have several suggestions that would allow Eleni to be…close to home without seeming like someone who lives in a van.”I roll my eyes at Gianna. The wives have been itching to start planning my wedding, and a couple days ago, Nicky ambushed me with an already half-planned m
DanteMonday morning after Mama arrives, I move her into the apartment in the city with El and Gianna.“Are you certain you can carry this?” She furrows her brow at the three suitcases in my hands.I nod, trying to turn a grimace into a pained smile. I’m so happy she’s here. I’m so happy El’ s happy. She has so much goddamn stuff.With another frown, she waves me ahead of her, and I stumble into the lobby of the building.***Tuesday afternoon, I tap my foot on the floor of the elevator. I managed to sneak out between meetings just in time to meet Eleni when she comes home from classes and steal a few minutes. Usually, my Tuesdays are jam-packed, so I’m hoping to surprise her. I fidget with the bouquet of flowers I picked up on a whim.Ding. The elevator doors open, and the first sound that greets my ears is high, feminine laughter. I frown. I checked her schedule. El shouldn’t be back yet.“Hello?” I call.The laughter cuts off.“We’re in here!” Gianna yells from what sounds like the
EleniIn the car on the way back to the apartment, I’m practically vibrating. I hadn’t even realized how much hanging around with Mama and Gianna, constantly being worried over and interrupted, was affecting me. Leave it to Dante to see what I can’t and give me a chance to feel powerful again. I run my hand over his thigh.“I don’t suppose you got rid of the two of them?” I ask.He smirks. “Why? Do you want something?”“I might.” I smile. “But I asked you first.”Dante meets my gaze, his dark eyes burning. “I absolutely did not.”I throw my head back against the seat. “Fuck!”He laughs, very meanly, I might say. For the rest of the car ride, I pout. I’m an adult with a fiancé who has more money than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be able to have sex whenever I want. Dante takes this grumbling with a teasing smile, like it’s all the funnier for him how much I want it. Asshole.Amando pulls the car into the parking lot, and we get out. My phone vibrates. A text from Gianna.Your mom had
TonyI adjust the zoom lens on the camera, and the street below snaps into focus. Four twenty-somethings stroll down the sidewalk in the summer sunset, talking loudly to each other. The lankiest one says something that makes the bleached-blonde leader punch him. The final two laugh. With another twist, I zoom in on the only one we care about. Teo—Veniamin, as these fucks know him—cocks a fist back to hit the lanky one again, but the leader shakes his head. Together, the four of them enter a crappy electronics shop we’ve learned is yet another Russian front. I sit back from the camera.“How’s it look?” Mikey asks.Like Dante sent another kid just about Seb’s age into the goddamn lion’s den without thinking. The phantom Seb in my mind shakes his head. He talks less than he used to, since the funeral, but I can’t fucking get him to go away.“They look like besties.” I shrug. “’Nother guy in the group got hit. Not Teo.”Mikey nods. The sunset makes him look even older than he is, highligh
EleniI lean back in my seat and groan. “Too…much…food…”Gianna laughs. “Once you give birth, I’m getting you into pole. Even if you never perform, it burns calories like a mother—”Mama starts to frown, and Gianna stops. I laugh. She’s been working on her language.“Well, it’ll let you eat as much as you want,” Gianna says quickly.Mama nods. “If you don’t perform, I think that would be all right with Dante.”Gianna launches into a list of how many dancers Dante has gone out with, seemingly just to scandalize Mama, and I look around the homey surroundings. To celebrate the end of my midterms, Mama suggested we go to Zorba’s Tavern, a warm, blue-and-white-walled little restaurant back in the old neighborhood. We used to come here every time Christos or I got all As in school. I tried to explain I didn’t have my grades back yet, but she was adamant. She couldn’t celebrate my last grades, or me getting into Tandon, so we were going to Zorba’s.“Well,” Mama says. “I suppose some…standard
EleniSomething thuds upstairs, and even though we know it’s probably one of the other families in the building, Mama and I spook and scurry out. She nearly drops the keys as she locks the back door behind us, but by the time we emerge back onto the street, we’re laughing.“Is it really like this for you every day, zouzouni?” she asks breathlessly.I gulp down air. Do I tell her about the nights I spend sitting awake, terrified? How often do I kiss Dante and think it might be the last time? How the heartbeat that made my baby real scares the absolute shit out of me because that’s a whole, real person I’m responsible for?“Yes and no,” I say. “Should we find Gianna?”Mama peers at me, then nods. She knows I’m hiding something. For her sake, all I care about is that she doesn’t press.NTU. Hm.We find Gianna nursing three cups of coffee at a table outside the shop she mentioned. She waves as we approach.“See? You were here the whole time.” She gestures at the other two drinks.Mama gri