*Cal*Heidi follows me as I take her to my office. We stroll across the hallway, heading for the last door on our right. Our footsteps are the only thing I can hear as I guide her, her tiny frame following me closely.I’m trying hard to ignore how good she smells. Her sweet perfume inebriates my senses and makes it hard for me to think clearly.And I have to figure out what I can do for her now that she finally seems willing to accept my help.Seeing how defensive Heidi can get has turned me on more than I’d like to admit, but I can’t say I don’t like it. Ever since she crossed the doorway of my bar, she’s done nothing but surprise me.She yelled, cried, stood defensively and suspiciously before me, showing multiple sides of her in less than an hour. Teasing and flirting with her felt good, but considering how different Heidi is from the women I’m used to dating, I need to be cautious. And more respectful than ever. The last thing I want is to scare her away.Her retorts only added fu
*Heidi*Cal takes me to his office, and I find myself slightly suspicious while at the same time, an anticipation builds within me that has everything to do with the fact that he’s taking me somewhere private to have a conversation.While we were talking at the bar, his barkeep pretended he wasn’t listening to us, but I’m sure he was.Now, we’ll be alone in his office, and that seems… weird. I’m not supposed to be feeling like this. Cal is everything I should keep myself away from in a man. He’s handsome, intimidating, sexy, flirtatious, not to mention he’s mysterious in a way that keeps me wanting to know more about him. If the novels I read have taught me anything, I should know better than to want to have any kind of relationship with Call. I know I came after him for help, but in my defense, I had no idea who he was. After I was already here and made a scene out of myself, demanding to talk to him, well… I couldn’t back down.I’m waiting in his office, admiring his decor and the
*Cal*Having Heidi in the same room as me this entire time has proven to be nothing but a bad idea. Even though she’s left, her scent lingers in the air, which makes it almost impossible for me to focus on anything other than her right now.I’m glad she accepted my help. Giving her a new apartment isn’t the only thing I wanted to do for her, but it does lessen my guilt to know she’ll be safe and able to get back on her feet with a roof over her head.I wish things hadn’t gone bad for her in the first place, but since I have no control over the past, I might as well accept this is all I can do for her–for now.Sure, I can give her way more than just an apartment, but considering how hard it was for her to accept that, I doubt she will even listen to any other offers. I think I can get her to open up to me eventually, although I have to be patient and careful.She doesn’t seem to trust people easily, and I can’t pretend I didn’t notice how skeptical and suspicious she was around me the
*Cal*“What is it, Boss?” Sam asks, but his voice sounds distant and muffled.When he moves to stand in front of me, his eyes studying me cautiously, I realize I was so angry, I wasn’t paying any attention to him at all.“Who is it? What happened?” he insists, his gaze darting to my phone and back to my face.I turn the screen for him to see the picture, but by the way his brows crease, I can tell he doesn’t understand what it means.“This is Heidi leaving the bar,” I explain expressionlessly, my mind numb with a type of fury I’ve never felt before..I’m doing everything in my power to suppress the outrage threatening to overcome me.I shouldn’t have reason to be afraid for Heidi. If someone’s watching her, which is evident by this photo, I could, in theory, shrug it off as someone trying to bait me by thinking the hottest girl to ever set foot in my bar is someone attached to me. A girlfriend, perhaps. A mistress. It wouldn’t be the first time another group has pulled a stunt like t
*Heidi*I lug my only suitcase inside the new apartment. It’s stuffed with new clothes that I bought over the week.Since nothing was salvaged from the fire, I had to make a list of priorities of what to buy. My computer is gone, and I’ve yet to replace it. I spent an entire day at City Hall getting a new social security card, then the DMV for my driver’s license despite the fact I never use it to drive. Getting a transit card for the subway was easy, at least, but I had no clothes to wear that didn’t smell like smoke, and I also had to do grocery shopping so I’ll have something to eat at home.Since I left the hospital, I’ve been eating only fast food–quick slices of pizza and hot-ham-and-cheese from the corner bodega. Sometimes my aunt would offer to cook something for us, but I knew she was only doing it because I was there. She’s not very fond of the kitchen, and if I weren’t at her house, I’m sure she would be eating out, too, and I didn’t want to be any trouble. I grunt as I pu
*Cal*That was a shot in the dark.I didn’t expect Heidi to agree so quickly to my invitation to spend New Year’s Eve with me.If anything, I assumed she wanted nothing to do with me and that she only accepted my help because she was desperate. But maybe, just maybe, my selfish hope that she, too, felt something between us isn’t an illusion after all.Maybe my flirting skills aren’t as rusty as I thought they were. However, Heidi is different.It will take a lot of effort to finally get her to tear down the walls she’s built to protect herself. She’s clearly afraid of me because of the dealings she’s witnessed from a distance at my club over the years.She doesn’t know exactly what I do for a living, but she’s right. Getting involved with me is not a good idea. I should be the one keeping my distance from her, knowing what that could mean for her life and her safety. I can’t imagine her being harmed again because of me.But deep down, I’m a selfish man. Despite my best efforts, now t
*Heidi*Needless to say, I barely closed my eyes last night. I don’t know why I feel so anxious to have dinner with Cal. He never once mentioned this was a date. Not officially, at least. Would I be wrong to assume it is if he didn’t expressly say the word ‘date’? In my experience, if a man wants to spend New Year’s Eve with a woman, he probably has romantic intentions.No matter how polite and respectful Cal is, I don’t believe for a second that this is strictly a business meeting. Or, maybe I’m just thinking about it too deeply.I’m probably not the type of woman he’s used to dating. I imagine him with someone who has tattoos, piercings, and isn’t afraid to hop on a bar and dance… But the way he looked at me the past few times we came into contact makes me wonder if he might be interested in me, the way he’s constantly orbiting around me, wanting to know more about me…. There’s no way I’m imagining it.I shake my head and look around. I’ve finished unpacking my things and organize
*Cal*Heidi looks stunning in the dress I picked for her, even better than I imagined. As soon as my eyes fell on that dress wrapped around her beautiful curves, I knew it had been made for her.I hadn’t prepared myself to actually see her in it, though. It took everything in me not to jump on her as soon as she opened that door. Until that moment, I had only seen her in jeans, sneakers, and big sweaters, nothing too revealing or sexy, and that had been enough to leave me drooling and waking up in a cold sweat. But this dress…Even now, as I drive us to the restaurant that Tony reserved for us, I’m struggling to keep my eyes on the road instead of on her. Her presence is consuming all of my senses, her intoxicating perfume invading my nostrils and making it hard for me to breathe.The way the silk fabric clings to her tiny frame makes me wonder what it would feel like to run my fingers along her curves, hold her in my arms, and…“Where are we going?” Heidi asks after minutes of pure
*Heidi*It’s past 9:00 P.M. and the sky is fully dark outside by the time Cal returns home. After finding his closet packed with guns, there was nothing else I could do other than sit on his couch and wait for him to return to ask what the fuck he’s got all those weapons for.I pondered the sitution for so long, my brain working overtime, convincing myself that I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I can’t believe that he would do anything to harm me. Even if that meant keeping things like this from me.The entire afternoon, I tried to think of reasons why he would need to have guns inside his home. He’s a businessman after all. He might have… unruly patrons at the bar? But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with an explanation as to why he would need an entire wall of weapons that look like something out of a gangster movie.That’s why I’m still here when he returns. In the morning, my original plan was to surprise him, to have a romantic dinner prepared for when he
*Heidi*Opening my eyes to find myself in Cal’s bed with him by my side is even better than any dream I’ve ever had. His scent is all over the room and the sheets, and the heat radiating from his body is almost too much for my sleepy mind to handle.He looks even hotter after waking up, and I need to control myself not to jump on him. Which, eventually, I end up doing anyway.I’m on top of him before I know it. Having morning sex feels somewhat different, and I’m slightly embarrassed that he gets to see me with my puffy, sleepy eyes and disheveled hair, but he doesn’t seem to mind and is eager to please me.Our skin is damp with sweat after I ride him and give us both a morning to remember. I roll off him and stare at the ceiling, too tired to stand up and get started with my day.“I really have to go to work,” he tells me, his tone expressing how annoyed he is to have to leave this place.I don’t blame him. I wish he didn’t have to go either. I wouldn’t mind having the day off, to sp
*Cal*I’ve had other women say they loved me before—after we had sex and I’d taken them to paradise and back. It’s not uncommon. However, I know that Heidi’s words carry a different meaning than all of the rest. I’m absolutely positive she didn’t say that just because she was in post-coital bliss. She meant it. Every word. I only know because I can feel that whatever we have going on between us is different from anything I have ever experienced before.Which is why it freaks me the fuck out.This wasn’t supposed to get this deep. This was supposed to remain an infatuation, a brief curiosity. Something I could chase, experience, and set aside. Because I’m a dangerous man, and that danger lurks in every facet of my life. She’d never be safe. But deep down, the selfish part of me is thrilled to know she loves me. I never thought I deserved someone’s love, but Heidi makes me feel like I do. Like somehow I deserve to be with her and have her by my side. That’s the kind of effect she has o
*Heidi*Cal looks up at me, his eyes slightly widened in surprise as if asking me what’s gotten into me.“That was the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me,” I explain, my heart beating rapidly against my ribcage.“It’s the truth,” he tells me honestly, caressing my cheek with tenderness.I’m sure my heart is about to jump out of my chest. Why do I feel so emotional? Everything he says and does to me seems so genuine, like he truly wants to make me happy.I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way toward another man before. It’s an unknown feeling to me, but if I could dare say it, I’d guess it’s love.Or at least something similar to it.He might not feel the same way about me, but right now, I don’t mind. I just want to be with him and enjoy whatever time I have with him all to myself. Being with Cal makes me happier than anything else I’ve ever experienced in my life–even getting lost in a good book.Tired of the distance between us, I lean forward, and our mouths crash together. Cal’
*Heidi*My face heats up with his offer, and I can’t find it in me to reject it. I was trying to be bold and surprise him by coming here, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any plans on returning to my own apartment tonight.But I was also telling the truth when I said I liked to spend time with him, no sex involved. Cal makes my days much better, especially now that I’m living by myself and barely see my grandparents. New York is a big city, but it can feel so small when you’re alone.Whenever I’m with Cal, it’s like time freezes, and I can simply enjoy being around him. He makes me feel wanted, heard, cared for. Nothing about what we have feels fake or forced.I don’t know what we are–and I would never dare to say we’re together–but I can’t lie to myself anymore. I believe I’m falling for him. Or better yet, I think I have already fallen. Deep. Beyond redemption.“So, what do you say?” His hoarse, sexy voice whispers in my ear, and I remember I didn’t give him an answer.
*Cal*I frown at Clara, my brain still a bit foggy. I don’t need to ask who she is referring to. At this point, everyone who works for me knows I’m seeing Heidi.“I’ll be right there,” I tell her, getting to my feet and checking my appearance in the mirror.I don’t feel tired, but the dark circles under my eyes say otherwise. I’m sure Heidi will notice it as soon as she sees me, but I don’t want her to worry. I’ll probably have to lie to her if she asks. It wouldn’tl be the first time I’ve kept something from her.The idea of keeping the truth about my life from her is starting to bother me to the point I’m considering risking everything, telling her what I do for a living. But I know the moment I confess and she realizes how dangerous it is, she’ll be out of my life in a blink of an eye.And I’m not ready for that.I wonder if that’s how Tony felt when he got married to Chloe to protect her from the cartel. He told me one time that he was afraid to involve her in all of this mess, an
*Cal*Heidi and I get dressed as I consider what to do. I check my phone, expecting to see a message from Sam telling me that the path is clear for me to take Heidi home, but he hasn’t texted me yet.I need to keep Heidi here for a little longer, until I know for sure we can head out without the risk of being attacked.“I’ll get something for us to eat before I take you home,” I offer, fixing my hair and adjusting the collar of my shirt.Heidi arches an eyebrow at me, considering my suggestion. I’m sure she must want to go home, and I can’t deny I also want to be alone so I can find out who the fuck was following us earlier, but unfortunately, she’ll have to wait.Reluctantly, she scoots back on the couch. “Fine, I’m starving.”“Want me to order some pizza?” I ask, grabbing my phone and opening the delivery app.“Yeah, I could eat some pizza,” she agrees. Her cheeks are still flushed from our previous activities. Seeing her skin glowing like that makes me want to do it all over again
*Heidi*The steamy session at Cal’s car only got me worked up enough to be desperate for him to take me. So much that I didn’t even bother that he took me to his office out of all places. When he said he wanted to take me somewhere safer, I thought he was talking about his apartment, but to my surprise, I was even more aroused when he took me to his bar.I never had sex in an office before, but I’ve read enough books to keep my imagination vivid and wanting to give it a try.Standing in his office in nothing but my underwear turns me on more than I expected. The simple fact that someone could barge in at any minute and catch us excites me more than I’d like to admit.God, I was never like this before. I wonder how Cal manages to turn me into this hungry woman who can only think about having sex.Sure, I do want more from him, but right now, having sex with him leaves me fully satisfied, and if that’s all I can get, well, I might as well take it while he is offering me.The intense loo
*Cal*“I didn’t think you meant your bar when you said ‘somewhere safer,’” Heidi points out with a note of amusement in her voice as I guide us inside through the back door.I managed to shake whoever was following us, but I don’t think I lost them completely. They might be somewhere near, watching my next moves. They know I own this place, but I can’t show Heidi any sign of worry or fear right now.I can only hope they don’t have ulterior motives tonight other than keeping an eye on us. An attack would be a fucking mess with Heidi here with me.“It wasn’t my first thought, but considering you really liked my office the last time you were here, I figured, why not?” Heidi seems surprised by my answer, but her expression softens as soon as I open the door to my office, and she finds everything exactly as she remembers it.“Make yourself comfortable,” I tell her, pecking her on the lips, one hand gripping her waist. “I’ll just send my men away and get us both something to drink,” I lie.