1. Officially a rogue

Chapter One

Kaireen’s Pov

My father's words kept replaying in my head, over and over like a song I couldn't turn off.

"You are not fit to be among the pack warriors."

I'd stood in his office just two hours ago, my medical degree clutched in my sweaty hands, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest. I'd practiced what I was going to say the entire drive from the city. Had the words memorized.

"Father," I'd said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Even if you're not going to let me work in the pack hospital, at least when the warriors are wounded, I could treat them. I'm trained for this. I'm certified. I can help—"

"No!" He roared in disgust and I trembled.

"But I studied for five years—"

"Do you remember what you are?" His eyes had finally lifted from his paperwork to look at me, and the contempt there had felt like a physical slap. "You are a stain on this family, Kaireen. And now you want to do what? Become a pack healer?" He'd actually laughed. 

 "The only thing you can do at this point to help yourself is become a Luna. Become a Luna and assist Alpha Donovan in the affairs of his pack. I bet your brother will also accept that arrangement."

The floor had tilted under my feet.

"What?"

"You're getting married in three weeks. We've already agreed to the terms with Alpha Donovan. The ceremony—"

"No." The word had ripped out of me before I could stop it. "No, I'm not—"

"What do you think you're doing?"

My mother, no…adoptive mother, Luna Celeste Thornwell because she'd never been my mother, she appeared in the doorway. Her perfectly made-up face had twisted into something cruel as she looked at me.

"Arguing with your father?" She'd laughed, this high-pitched sound that scraped against my ears. "Trying to be what again—a doctor? We only sent you out of this pack so that you would not bring disgrace and a stain to our name, and now you're back with this ridiculous idea?"

My hands had clenched into fists at my sides. I was shaking. Actually shaking with rage.

"It's not ridiculous," I'd forced out through gritted teeth. "I'm qualified—"

"You should be lucky enough that someone is willing to marry a stain like you." Celeste had moved closer, her perfume choking me. "Do you know what we had to promise Alpha Donovan to get him to agree to this? A weak wolf like you with barely any power? You should be on your knees thanking us."

Something inside me had snapped.

"I won't marry him." My voice had come out stronger than I felt. "I don't care what happens, but I'm never going to marry him. I didn't go abroad to stay five years, didn't work myself half to death, just to become a Luna to a fat pig who can't even—"

The slap had come out of nowhere.

My father's hand had connected with my face so hard my vision swirled, the room spinning around me in a nauseating blur. I'd stumbled, barely caught myself on the edge of his desk. Pain exploded across my cheek, my jaw, radiating down my neck. The coppery taste of blood filled my mouth.

"You're such an Ungrateful brat." His voice had been ice cold. "I see. Despite everything we've done for you all these years, and now one of the biggest pack alliances is coming to ask for your hand in marriage, and you're telling me no?" He'd grabbed my arm, yanked me upright, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. "If you do not marry Alpha Donovan, do not include yourself as a member of this pack family."

I'd looked up at him through the tears blurring my vision, tasted blood and rage and fifteen years of swallowing my pain, and I'd smiled.

"I was never a member in the first place."

His grip on my arm had tightened until I felt something grind in my shoulder, but I didn't care anymore.

"Ever since my parents died, I was never treated as a member of this family. You made that very clear." My voice had come out bitter, twisted. "You made me travel abroad not to help me, not to give me opportunities, but because you didn't want to see me. Because having a weak wolf in your perfect pack embarrassed you."

"Get out." Caspian had shoved me away from him, and I'd stumbled back, catching myself against the wall. "Get out of my office. Out of my house. You are no longer welcome in Ironwood territory."

"Gladly."

I'd walked out of that office, up the stairs to the room they'd given me and threw my things into my suitcase. My hands had been shaking so bad I could barely zip it closed. 

I was done this time around.

Done looking back at this place and hoping they'd see me as something more than a burden. After all, I was disowned now. No longer a member of the Ironwood Pack.

Because tell me how the hell I spent five years abroad learning everything about medicine. Five years studying my ass off,  learning how to become a pack doctor despite having little to no wolf power to rely on. While other wolves could heal themselves, could use their beasts' instincts to understand injuries and treatments, I had nothing. Just my brain and my determination and the burning need to prove I was worth something.

And for what?

To come home and have my so-called father tell me I was getting married to Alpha Donovan.

Alpha fucking Donovan!

Even if I was going to get married, which I never plan to, why would they choose the ugliest man among all the Alphas in the region? Donovan was a pig. The man could barely shift without wheezing, had a gut that hung over his belt, and smelled like he bathed in grease. The thought of him touching me made my skin crawl.

But that didn't matter to them, did it?

And now here I was, driving away from the only home I'd ever known, tears streaming down my face because despite everything, despite how much they hurt me, some stupid part of me had still hoped they'd love me eventually.

What a joke.

My phone started ringing in the cup holder in the car. I glanced at it through blurry eyes, and saw Rhia's name flashing on the screen.

Rhia is my best friend from medical school in the states, The only person who'd ever treated me like I mattered.

I grabbed the phone, nearly dropped it because my hands were shaking so bad, and answered.

"Rhia." My voice came out choked, broken.

"Kai! Hey, I was just thinking about you. How's it going back home? Have you started working at the pack hospital yet?"

Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. I had to pull over because I couldn't see the road anymore. The car jerked to a stop on the shoulder, and I just sat there, gripping the phone like it was the only thing keeping me tethered to reality.

"Kai? You there?"

"I'm coming back to the city."

Silence on the other end. "What? Why? I thought you wanted to go back home so you could become a doctor in your pack? I thought that was the whole plan? Your father's one of the most powerful Alphas in the region, I thought you said—"

"I've been disowned."

The words hung in the air between us, and saying them out loud made them real in a way they hadn't been before. Made the pain in my chest sharpen into something unbearable.

"You've been what?" Rhia's voice had gone dangerously quiet. "Kai, what the fuck happened?"

"I'll explain everything later." I wiped my face with my sleeve, tried to breathe through the tightness in my throat. "But I need a favor. Can I crash with you for a few days? Just until I'm able to work and get my own apartment. I promise it won't be long, I just need—"

"Stop talking right now." Her voice turned fierce. "That's nonsense. My home is your home, Kai. You know that. You can stay for as long as you want to stay. Forever, if that's what it takes. I don't care."

Something in my chest loosened just a fraction. "Rhia—"

"But there's one tiny thing," she continued, and I could hear her moving around, probably already getting the guest room ready knowing her. "My idiot brother wanted to use my house for some nonsense event this week. Some business thing with investors or whatever. I told him fine but only because he's paying my rent for three months. So you'll have to bear with some suits walking around until they're done with whatever boring meeting they're having, would that be okay?"

"Yes." I would have agreed to anything at that point. A house full of strangers was still better than going back to Ironwood. "Yes, that's fine. I don't care. I just need somewhere to go."

"Then come home. How far out are you?"

"About four hours."

"I'll have the guest room ready. And Kai? I'm buying wine. Lots of wine. And ice cream. And we're going to talk about everything, and then I'm going to drive back to your pack and murder your entire family."

Despite everything, a wet laugh escaped me. "Get in line."

"Drive safe, okay? Text me when you're close."

"I will. Thank you, Rhia. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She hung up, and I sat there in my car on the side of the highway, my face still throbbing, my wolf still whimpering, my entire life in a suitcase in my backseat.

Just me and a medical degree no one wanted and four hours of highway between me and the only person who'd ever given a damn about me.

No pack and no home, I'm officially a rogue.