LOGIN
I was completely zoned out and lost in thought, as my cranky old landlady droned about kicking me out of my apartment, if I didn’t pay up my rent before the end of the week. As a jobless twenty five year old without money or a means of raising any, I was positive I would be homeless by the end of the week.
After the meeting, I did the next best thing I could think of. I called Cherry, my only friend from college. I met Cherry my sophomore year in college, in a baking elective I took to fill a credit. She wasn’t even supposed to be there, she’d wandered in late, smelling faintly of vanilla and cigarette smoke. Somehow, she convinced the professor to let her stay. She was loud where I was quiet, fearless where I hesitated.
We became fast friends over burnt cookies and late–night diner runs. She’d talk about dreams that changed every week, modeling, acting, “maybe just being rich for a while.” I talked about kitchens and flavors and how I wanted to cook for people who’d never been cooked for. We didn’t have much in common, except that we were both a little lost and trying hard not to show it.
Holding the phone against my ear with my right shoulder, I started folding the heap of clothes I’d left on my rickety couch. My apartment wasn’t much to look at. Most of the furnitures were second hand items purchased from yard sales. Few seconds later, I heard Cherry’s shrill voice over the phone.
“Hey Sasha, been a while”, she sounded out of breath. I’m guessing she was either on a treadmill or on a dick.
“Yea I know, I’ve been quite busy” I lied.
Between being unemployed and having nothing going on, all I had was time. She was quiet on the other end of the phone so I spoke.
“Hey listen any chance we could catch up over drinks this weekend?” I didn’t want to outrightly tell her I needed help. We made plans and hung up.
The weekend came by faster than I anticipated. Tonight, I was meeting Cherry. I’d normally just throw on a pair of jeans and a crop top. But, I wanted to make an effort on my appearance. So I sleeked my auburn hair into a bun, applied some make up on my face. I tossed out all my clothes from the broken wardrobe, in search of the prettiest dress I owned.
It was a black, short sequined dress with lace at the back. I’ve had it for three years and it still remains the best clothing in my wardrobe. I stood in front of a mirror to admire my effort and I was satisfied. The dress hugged my curvy body in all the right places. Albeit, my cleavage was a little more exposed than I would have liked. The black fabric a stark contrast to my porcelain skin, my minimal makeup highlighting my hazel eyes, the red lipstick making my lips look fuller.
Already running late, I grabbed my pair of gold sandals, black purse and off I went. The night in Pilsen felt thick enough to touch. The kind of heat that clings to your skin and makes every step slower and heavier. My phone vibrated in my purse, I brought it out and there was a text from Cherry. She was already at Simone’s, one of the most popular bars in Pilsen. A couple more blocks.
The closer I got to 18th and Morgan, the louder the nightlife became. By the time I reached the bar, I could already hear Cherry’s laughter from the patio. The familiar sound cutting through the mix of conversation and bubbly music. I pushed open the door, the air inside was cooler but thick with bodies. I strutted as elegantly as I could to the small sitting area, where Cherry was flirting with the bartender.
Once I was in her line of sight, she hopped off the high stool where she was perched on and hugged me dramatically. I wondered if she was already drunk. She smelled like vanilla and musk wood. Petite, pretty, with a kind of easy confidence that makes people notice her without trying. I suppose with these qualities, she didn’t have to try hard as an escort.
Life took us in different directions after college. Me as chef and Cherry as an escort. Honestly, that never changed how I saw her. I wasn’t judgmental, especially as I was about to ask her to introduce me to her world. Well, not permanently of course, just until I am able to sort out the financial mess my life is in right now.
Three magaritas later, I finally told her I wanted in as an escort. She laughed, and then stared at me like I had grown a second head and four tits. For a second, she didn’t say anything, just blinked. Lips parted, eyes wide, like she couldn’t decide if I was loosing my mind or joking.
“Wait…what?”
Her voice was soft but sharp enough to cut. She downed the shot of tequila the bartender placed in front of her, shook her head and said.
“Sasha what’s going on? You tell me this very second”.
I fiddled with the hem of my dress, looking at her mortified expression.
“ I lost my job at the restaurant, they’re closing it down, my landlady is kicking me out because I can’t pay rent Cher.”
She looked at me sympathetically. “ why didn’t you tell me? What about your savings?”
I glanced around the lively bar, deciding if I should tell her.
“I spent most of it keeping Monica in rehab.” I admitted.
She ran her manicured hands through her hair, before she said anything, I quickly grabbed her hand and said.“She’s my baby sister and my only family, she needs me, I can’t turn my back on her regardless of her shortcomings. Family is family.”
Cherry looked me dead in the eyes. “She’s a little ungrateful shit, how many times times has she relapsed and you had to pay for her rehab over and over again?”
I was beginning to get irritated. Talking about my little sister, wasn’t exactly one of my favorite topics. She’s my family. All my parents left me with and that’s that.
She noticed my withdrawal from the conversation, then took another shot of alcohol. “In two hours, I’m meeting a high profile client, if you’re really serious and if you’re up for it, we can leave in an hour, my car is parked out front.”
I nodded, downing the rest of my drink.
Days had slipped by in a swirl of nerves and excitement, but today I was finally ready to tell Monica. Crest had kissed my temple that morning before work, smoothing a hand over my still-flat stomach, and said gently,“I’ll handle telling the kids. They should hear it from me.”And something about the certainty in his voice, quiet, warm, protective, helped me breathe a little easier. I invited Monica over that evening. She drove down from work, wearing her manager badge like a medal she forgot to take off. Her mood was upbeat as usual. Immediately she stepped in, her jaw slacked.“Oh…” she breathed. “So THIS is what you meant by ‘Crest’s place.’ It’s humongous. I mean, I knew Crest was fancy, but this is next level.”I snorted. “Oh please…” I said, pulling her towards the kitchen. “Come on, help me me dinner.” She paused “What? I’m here to help you make dinner?” “No, but let’s start with that.” She dropped her purse on the marble kitchen island like she’d been personally betrayed
I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t spiraling or crying or dramatically staring out windows like in the movies. I was just… thinking. Thinking so hard my brain felt like it was humming under my skull. Two days had passed and I hadn’t left the apartment. Not because I couldn’t, but because moving felt pointless when every answer I needed was somewhere inside me, not outside. I paced. I sat. I lay down. I got back up. I drank water. I ordered food and didn’t touch half of it.My emotions weren’t loud, they were quiet, orderly, lining themselves up in my head like files waiting for review. Crest wanted to stay home with me both days.“You don’t have to be alone with this,” he had said, searching my face like he expected to find cracks.“I’m not alone,” I’d told him. “I’m just… sorting myself.”It wasn’t sadness he saw. Just… the heavy, scary weight of possibility. So he went to work, He didn’t argue, but he lingered in the doorway that morning, as if leaving felt wrong but hovering felt worse. And t
I did not remember standing up, but suddenly I was on my feet, pacing the bathroom like the walls were closing in. The test sat on the counter, bold and blue and merciless. Crest hadn’t touched it. He just stood by the door, not moving, watching me with a mixture of awe and dread, like he didn’t know whether to smile or step back.I pressed a shaky hand to my forehead. “I… Crest, I don’t know what to do.” It came out harsher than I meant it to, but fear tightened all my words. He approached slowly, like I was a skittish animal. “Sasha. Sit with me,” he said softly, guiding me toward the edge of the tub. But my legs wouldn’t bend. “I can’t decide if I want to have it,” I whispered. “This is a life. This is everything. I—I’m twenty-six. I barely even know how to handle my own chaos, much less—” My throat closed. He didn’t interrupt. His patience made it worse somehow, made my fear feel valid, made the moment real.“I—I mean I knew I’d want kids someday but being an actual mother,” I c
Time goes by so fast when you’re happy. Three months ago I was with Crest, the love of my life, in Greece. Living in a figment of my imagination. Now, our bond was stronger than ever. Life was almost perfect. The kids kept coming over every weekend, as usual. Monica was excelling, the restaurant was thriving so well under Monica’s management, that I didn’t need to go in every day. Crest was happy, content. It felt like the universe was smiling down at me.Until one Thursday morning, I was sautéing garlic for a simple breakfast, nothing intense, nothing unusual. When the smell hit me like a physical slap. My stomach lurched violently. I turned off the stove so fast the pan nearly skidded, stumbling backward as a wave of nausea punched through me. Crest, still half-asleep and buttoning his shirt. “Are you okay?”“Yeah,” I lied, swallowing hard. “Just… dizzy.”He stepped forward, but I waved him off and hurried to the sink, rinsing my mouth, blaming it on stress… or maybe I was coming do
A full week had passed since Greece, our closet now looked like a luxury logistics hub. The last of my shipped gifts had arrived. Boxes. Velvet cases. Handwritten notes from jewelers whose names I couldn’t pronounce. With the obscene amount of jewelries I now owned, I’m pretty sure I could open a small jewelry store. I organized everything, sorted what would stay here, and packed the rest neatly so I could take the pieces meant for Monica and Cherry to the restaurant.When I walked into my restaurant office, carrying two glossy, heavy gift bags, both girls were already waiting, coffees in hand, eyes sharp like they’d planned an ambush. Cherry spotted the bags first.“Ohhhh, what is that?” she asked, eyebrows climbing.“Please tell me that’s not a skincare routine,” Monica said. “Because I can’t emotionally handle another twelve-step product line right now.” I dropped the bags on the table, they thudded loudly. Both of them froze.“Okay,” Cherry whispered. “That’s not skincare. That’s
We stepped out of O’Hare and into the cool Chicago air, my body felt like it belonged to a different timezone entirely. The sky was a dull gray, the kind that made the whole city look washed and sleepy. We didn’t talk much on the drive home.Jet lag had wrapped itself around us like a heavy blanket, Crest’s hand rested on my thigh the entire ride, thumb tracing lazy, absentminded patterns through the fabric of my sweat-pants. It was the only thing anchoring me to the present. When his driver pulled into the parking garage of the apartment building, I had to bite back a groan as I stepped out of the car, my legs didn’t feel like mine. He noticed instantly.“You good?” he asked, voice rough from exhaustion.I nodded, even though I looked like I’d been tumble-dried.“You?” He gave a tired half-laugh. “Barely.”We rode the elevator up in a quiet that wasn’t awkward, just heavy, familiar, exhausted. My head rested briefly against his shoulder. He kissed the top of my hair without thinkin







