I walk into the cafeteria with my backpack hanging from one shoulder, ready to fall off. I catch a glimpse of Jana, Taylor, Jordan, surprisingly Trent, and even Daniel sitting at the lunch table today. In my head, I thank God for it. I like to look at him, which seems stalkerish, but I can't help it. They are schoolgirl thoughts, it's a schoolgirl crush, and it will never happen.
"Hailey Fonte, you just won't give up, will you?"
My eyes freeze at a spot on the floor, it is tiled, white with black speckles. I know that high voice all too well, and I know better than to flee. The cafeteria is silenced by her.
Glancing up, slowly, I see her long platinum hair. Her hand is on her hip and her white t-shirt glows with the words: Coldgrove Dance Team.
Daphne.
"What? Have you gone mute too? Have your lies gone to your head? You know, you have real nerve coming back here."
I knew this would happen eventually. "Look, Daphne—"
"No. You're a lair. An attention whore—"
Suddenly, Jana shoots up from her seat. "Hailey," she calls me over, waving. The entire table is looking at me, watching me struggle, not sure what to do. This doesn't happen here, not in dear Coldgrove. Daniel doesn't look strained, though, he looks calm, as he usually does.
I step to the side, ready to walk around her and join Jana, but Daphne steps in my way, swiftly. "You're not going anywhere but out the door."
My heart squeezes in my chest. Why did you do this Hailey? Why did you come back to this school? Why did you come back to Coldgrove? They hate you. They'll always hate you.
Everyone's eyes are on me. They're waiting, waiting for something. Will I leave? Will I push past her? Will I fall to my knees and cry?
The worst of the worst happens then.
Harrison Keller stands up from a table and walks over, as he does so, he calls out, "Leave her alone, Daphne."
I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate.
Daphne peers at him, who is now standing beside her. She scowls at me then drifts back to her lunch table, the one filled with other dance team members.
Like an arrow shot from a bow, Harrison's hand reaches out to me, maybe to my shoulder, maybe to somewhere else. Immediately, I flinch back. "Don't touch me!"
Maybe it was the words I said or the sound of actual fear in my voice, but the crowd seems taken back.
Jana runs towards me and slaps his arm away, shoving herself in between us. She shelters me before leading me out of the cafeteria, through the main doors. I don't dare look back at all their faces, their beady eyes.
The doors close behind us and we turn into the nearest bathroom. Jana shoo's out one girl who is standing in front of the mirror, fixing her hair. She shuts the bathroom door, kicking out the wedge, and she locks it.
The mirror taunts me, daring me to take a look at the mess standing before me. I grab the laminate counters and squeeze before tumbling to the ground. I land on my butt. Jana watches me. "Do you want to be alone?" She asks. I nod. She leaves. I cry.
I assume she's blocking off the door to any students, and I love her for that.
Mr. Russ closed the classroom door, then turned to me. I want to kiss you, Hailey, he said.
I stood against his desk, watching him near me like a starving lion, hunting in the Savannah. I was the zebra, waiting to be slain. I didn't move, I fought myself to stay.
He grabbed my hand, a baby step, then reached out to my face, caressing my cheek. I wanted to run, to cry, but I held it all back. He leaned in as he had done before, then brought our lips together, touching softly. My knees buckled. He moved his lips, I tried to, he touched my back, I squeeze my eyes shut. It was like dancing with a shattered leg.
He wanted more from me, I could feel it.
Tears slipped from my eyes, and he pushed me against his body, closing the space between us. The drops rolled down my cheek, joining the kiss, and Mr. Russ stopped. He pulled away, stared at me as I frantically pushed myself from him.
The bathroom floor is cold, dirty, no place for a person, yet I continue to sit here, leaning against the wall.
"You can't block off the bathroom!" I hear someone yell from outside.
"There's another one down the hall, now walk away," Jana's voice fights back, and I smile, almost laughing.
The tears have stopped now, and Jana peeks in for the second time. "You okay?" She calls and I nod. She then slips in and locks the door behind her. "Daphne is a bitch, she had no right."
"It's okay," I murmur, "I expected this."
"You don't deserve this," she says with fire, "what he did to you? You have to fight back! You need justice!"
I shrug. "I tried, a year ago, but no one listened, you know that. No one cares that I got hurt, they only care about Harrison, about his reputation. The only people that know what happened—the truth—is Harrison and me, and I know he is never going to come clean. Who would."
Jana falls back against the wall. "I'm sorry, Hailey. I wish there was something that I could do, something to help bring him down."
"Don't be sorry. The past is the past, and I suppose the only thing I can do now is to survive this year and move on."
Jana and I avoid the cafeteria for the rest of lunch, and instead, we walk around the campus. She talks about Tyler Bradshaw, her love interest, taking my mind off of Daphne and Harrison. I enjoy listening o her talk, especially about her date. It is nice to hear about those things, flirtation, handholding, the first kiss, words can't hurt me like actions would. I live vicariously through her stories.
Harrison was not at school for the last week until winter break. Everyone wondered where he went and assumed his father took the family on an early vacation to some tropical island. They were jealous of him. In the locker room, the girls chatted about how lucky he is to be able to miss an entire week. His father can pull strings, they said.I stayed silent and tried to ignore them, not wanting to feed my ego over the fact that I know the truth.Harrison is in trouble.After my mother went to the station with the USB drive, she called later on to tell me that everything was going well, that there were no issues. We celebrated at Knocks, and in the night, Daniel dropped Jana off at home and came inside mine. My mother was too dedicated to leave work, so I didn't expect her to come back a
"What are you talking about?""It was Harrison's father," he says again, confusing Jana."Okay," I whisper, not sure what to think but forcing myself to push it to the back of my head. "What does that have to do with the station?""We can't trust them. Most of the officers are in agreements with the mayor,Harrison's father. If we give it to someone we can't trust, they'll destroy it, I promise you," he explains. "You have to give it to someone you trust."I squeeze my eyes shut, knowing what he means. "My mother."Jana holds her breath in the back and Daniel keeps his eyes on me. The USB drive is locked in my hand and it feels as if I'm holding a diamond. Everything is
Jana and I walk into school side by side, talking about what happened after Daniel and I left the party. "I can't believe you—you just dived right in, didn't you? Was it—I mean, how was it? Were you okay?"We stop at her locker, and I talk quietly as she gets her things. "It was a little difficult at first, but he was so gentle, so patient and caring. I just...I love him. He really cares about me, Jana. He makes me feel safe and alive and..." I smile, dreaming."Well, I'm happy for you. You deserve it," she says and gives me a side-hug as we continue down the hall. "You two make a beautiful couple, oh, like James and I."I shake my head. "Maybe we're both love-sick puppies"Walking into my first class, I slip past Daphne,
I pull up to Jana's house and text her that I'm here. While waiting I glance up at the sky, hoping it snows like the news said it would. The heat is blasted and the windows are fogged, and it's beginning to feel like winter.Jana knocks on the window and I unlock the door. She slips in and shuts it immediately behind her, almost on her foot. "Jeez it's cold out there," she says while pulling on her seat belt. "Watts better have the fire going."I pull onto the road. "So this isn't some big Christmas party like you said before, right?""No, this one's just close friends.""Good. After Harrison's party, I need a break." Jana stays quiet and I glance over to her. "You okay?"She nods, h
I sit down at our table in the cafeteria, trying to figure myself out. It's been a long day. Daphne kept glancing back at me in Economics and Jana kept texting me about Watts' cousin James, saying that he asked her to be his girlfriend. She said yes and then continued to talk about it. I'm happy for her, but how can I smile over Love if the person I love hates me?I don't know what Love feels like, but if it doesn't feel like this, then it will be a disappointment.How can I not love Daniel? He's amazing in every way. He makes my heart race by simply thinking about him. He accepts me, every part of me, and I lost him. I let him slip through my fingers. I used to wonder if Daniel loves me, and now I'm wondering the opposite. Could he love me? I don't know. Maybe I just fall in Love easily.
I stare out the window, watching as the streetlights pass and erase my face in the glass. The image of Harrison standing there is stuck in my mind, I don't know what to think of it, but now that I'm with Daniel I feel better. It's a bit awkward to be so close after our last encounter, but I feel safe.My head rolls to him, my eyes watching his hands as he turns the wheel, turning onto my street. "Is anyone home?" He asks, and I have a flashback to a time before."No. My mom is at John's house.""Who's John?"I look at the house. "He's her boyfriend, I guess. He's the guy that snuck into the house with her."Daniel parks at the curb like he always does and gets out with me as I expect