I finished three bowls of rice. Probably because of the hunger that I am feeling since a lot of things happened early in the morning. Or because I just simply missed this food. It’s nostalgic, bringing me back to Ariel – to home. It feels like a very long time since I had thought about home. Most of the time I don’t consider Ariel as home because it does not feel like it. But I cannot think of anything as home except Ariel. Home is a place where I live with my parents, with the people I grew up with – by that I meant all the people at our house including the guards and the maids. Basically that’s home. But home is more than that – more than a concrete wall. More than the parts of an infrastructure. Because most of the time, home are people. I have been longing for home for a long time. The warmth love that it gives on a cold night that you are doubting everything, even yourself. The words of encouragement that you can only seek at the shelter you always run at when everything ha
It was a story of a young man who was about to get an arranged marriage to a fine young lady when he accidentally put the ring in the finger of a corpse. The corpse was a bride and mistook the accident as a wedding vow for her. So he brought the man – Victor – to the land of the dead. Corpse bride has this animation and the feels that really captivates my heart. I can relate to the young lady – Victoria. Grew up with strict parents, must be obedient, do things really fine and modest. "Why this movie?" Asked Chris. We're sitting a meter apart from each other. The blanket was that huge for us to sit in that distance and even has a place for all the foods. "Why ask me to watch a movie?" He shrugged and drank another bottle of San Miguel flavored beer. Movie theaters aren't my thing. Whenever there are films that I want to watch, I would just wait for it to be released on televisions or online platforms where I will still pay. I went to bars more than cinemas. I love to be alone, wa
It’s weird. The stare of the two men is frightening. “Chris?” I said and held his arm who was just resting beside me. As I looked at him, he was also looking at the window outside. “Leira, after washing and drying the clothes let’s go back to the van right away, du’n na lang natin itiklop ‘yan.” I nodded instantly. I took out our clothes and put them next in the dryer. He operated the dryer so that we could finish the laundry faster. The amount of clothes we washed used three dryers. I am silently hoping all the dirt is gone but I doubt that since we only spun it for fifteen minutes. Talagang nagmamadali kami. Chris must have felt that the two men that were watching us were weird and terrifying. Nagmadali na kami sa paglalaba at basta na lamang ibinalik lahat ng nalabhan na damit sa loob ng bag. We walked outside hurriedly, not minding the stares of the few customers that are with us. I am certain they are just wondering about why we're doing this in a fast forward, but the sta
It was freshman week. A week where all the first year students could get to know each other, attend different activities prepared by the higher year, and familiarize themselves in the campus. Sidesea University is the largest among all the colleges in the City of Ariel but has the lowest number of students due to hard admissions. Students shall take an entrance examination first to know whether they could enter the University or not, there are special cases – of course, which really usually happens – for students who have connections. Connections like powerful businessmen, teachers, admins, and facilitators inside the school, and government officials at Ariel. School started three days ago and I haven’t adjusted to the environment yet. It’s like I am always lost. Lost in a sense that I am having a hard time not to get lost. And another lost in a sense that I don’t know what I am doing, if the course that I took would be manageable enough for me to pass. People around me often say
I immediately went back to reality when I heard a sob. Patricia was crying in front of me. She kept on saying sorry and hugging me. I just stared at her, still in my thoughts on how we first met. That night was one of the best nights I would never forget. She’s my best friend, my only friend, my sister. “I visited the café then I went to a bar. I was really drunk, I am sorry. Y-you can put me to jail or whatever. I am sorry Cindy” She still calls me with that name because we are at Cinderella right now, funny how she still keep up with that stupid idea of mine. Out of all the people in this big City of Cinderella, why Patricia? I checked her schedule, that's why I am comfortable that we are not going to meet each other. But here she is. She even hit us. “Cindy?” “Huh?” My mind is clearly somewhere else plus I don’t really know how to talk with her, after what I’ve done. Imagine running away from someone and meeting them again, it’s awkward. Really awkward for me. The nurse
Chris caught us in that situation. He looked at us for a second and then walked inside without minding us, putting a tray with food that I supposed he bought outside. It felt like my parents caught me crying and I would have to hide and easily wipe away my tears so that we would not talk about it. Patricia and I wiped our tears, “are you sure he’s just your boss?” She giggled and whispered to my ears as she sat down on the bed beside me. Of course Patricia and I were talking about boys sometimes – mostly her – that’s one thing that she influenced on me. I became vocal about the guy I like but was still shy most of the time. “Ikaw ha. You wanted good guys with good looks and good grades,” pang-aasar niya nang malaman niya ‘yung tungkol sa lalake na nagustuhan ko nu’n sa kolehiyo. But she’s uncertain about what is happening at home. I am sure she has an idea but she chose not to ask. Hindi siya kailanman nangialam tungkol sa bagay na ‘yon hangga’t hindi ako nagsasabi, nagtatanon
There are so many things in this world that one is afraid of. Fear drives people to do something absurd. For instance, if you fear losing a person, you’d do everything just for the person to stay with you. To some, fear helps them to transcend. These fears are seen as challenges for some to overcome it and discover oneself. For some, to be afraid is to try things out more to know if you can conquer it or not. To fear is to be brave. And to be brave is to fear. Fears. Phobias. Everyone has it. The fear of being alone, being in love, being in a crowded place, fear of certain animals, plants, and the lists go on. Even the weirdest fears like fear of a certain word, expressions, and colors. Whilst others fear these things, the one that I fear is myself. I am afraid of myself. I am afraid of the things that I can do and the things that I cannot. I fear that at the very end of everything there will be no one to blame but myself. That at the very end of all of these is that I am th
Life is like a rollercoaster ride. The thrills. The ups and downs. Nakakahilo. Minsan masusuka ka. But rollercoaster rides have different builds, mine had been down for a long time and in a constant 360 degree turn. Paikot-ikot. It’s like a journey using public transportation. You’ll have people at the beginning of the journey, some of them will leave you eventually, some will stay for a moment then still leave you after. By the end of your own ride, you’ll leave the vehicle because you’re at the destination you wanted – leaving some people behind that were physically there on your own journey. It has ups and downs like a beating heart on a lifeline. Because if it is straight, it only means one thing – death. Ako ang naunang sumuko sa titigan naming dalawa dahil sa pagpunas ko sa sarili kong luha. I turned my back to him but he grabbed both of my arms forcing me to face him. He stared at me and then without a word, he hugged me. I was stunned by his random actions. Sabagay pa