Chapter Eight

Emi

When Jack left, I called Alyssa, but she didn't answer, so I called Jake and asked him to have a late dinner with me. I didn't get to eat much of my food earlier because of the argument Jack and Lauren were having and I was starving.

I was relieved when Jake said he was free and would even pick me up.

“What the fuck happened to your face?”

“I tried to break up a fight at work and got punched; I would prefer not to talk about my eye. I have other things to tell you.”

“Fair enough. Where do you want to go?”

“Any place open that has food and beer.”

“I know just the place.”

It didn’t take me long to realize he was taking us to Pat’s Bar and Grill. It’s his favorite place to eat and never misses an opportunity to eat there.

As soon as I walked in, I saw Tyson and Jack sitting at a corner table, and I didn’t want to sit anywhere near Jack while I had this conversation with Jake.

“Let’s sit over here.” I quickly pulled him over to a table near the door.

“Ok, start spilling before the waitress comes over,” Jake said in a hurry.

“Jack is over there, and he just left my apartment; I kind of kicked him out after kissing me and confessing that he was attracted to me.”

“Why? You have been hung up on him for years?”

“Because he had told his fiancé that he didn’t want to marry her, and I don’t want to be a rebound or a mistake. I know he would regret it if anything happened between us, and I would be broken when he left to go back to her.”

“You don't know that, and how can you be so calm? He's been the one you have wanted for years, Em, don't be stupid and stubborn about it.”

“He’ll get back with Lauren; they've been together for so long, and it would break me if he rejected me. I can't put myself through that.”

“Did you ask him what his intentions were?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know he’ll end up rejecting you. I'm not telling you that you should date the guy; I'm just saying you need to talk to him, figure out what he is thinking, don't overthink it, and don't doubt yourself. You're pretty and smart, and he sees that, and I bet he always has.”

“Ugh, you sound like Alyssa.”

Jake’s face turned a little pink at the mention of her name.

“Are you guys serious? I’m asking because I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

Jake took a second to answer me. He looked like he was trying to decide if he should answer honestly.

“This is just between you and me, but I think she's it for me.”

“I’m so happy for you guys,” I squealed.

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

I shook my head no. “We never dated and nothing happened again after that night, so as long as Alyssa is ok with it there isn’t anything to worry about.”

“Don’t get too excited; Alyssa is a tough person to get through.”

“She hasn't had the best luck with relationships, so just give her some time.”

Jake and I were in a couple of beers and laughing like little children when Jack approached our table.

“Do you mind if I have a moment with Remi?”

Jake looked at me, and I nodded.

“I’ll just go and talk to Tyson until you finish.”

Jack took Jake’s seat, and I could tell he was a little nervous, he had a hard time looking at me.

“I don't want you to be angry at me, but I just wanted you to know what it was like to kiss you. I know it came at the wrong time, and I'm not apologizing because I regret it; I don't. I'm apologizing because of the way it made you feel.”

“I'm going to lay everything out on the table. I don't trust you,” I responded.

My statement took Jack by surprise, but I needed him to know. I need him to know I spent years wanting him and the way he treated me when we were younger can’t be fixed in one kiss.

“You never once told me that you wanted to be with me. In fact, you were always mean to me no matter how hard I tried to get you to like me. You are engaged, I doubt you guys have officially broken off the engagement, and I don't want to be the other women or the cause of not getting back together with Lauren. I've lived the past twenty years trying to find a guy that would push you from my mind, and I've yet to find him, and I don't want you coming into my life, making me fall even more in love with you just for you to go back to Lauren. I'm not willing to give you every part of me so that you can completely break me.”

Jack placed his hand on mine. ”I know sorry doesn’t fix the pain of the scars but I am sorry. I’m sorry that I spent time being angry at you than asking question and I’m sorry for making you feel like shit, but I want to try this, I want to be with you, I always have, but I will give you space if need it.”

***

I felt like crap, I barely slept, and I wasn't looking forward to work because of Jack. I would have to spend a portion of my day looking at him as the students walked to their classes.

It feels like I'm back in high school trying to conceal my feelings for the boy I secretly love. Except now, it's not a secret. Jack is aware of how I feel, and I hope he just lets it go.

When I got to my classroom, it was clear that Jack wouldn't let it go. A single Juliet rose sat on my desk in a vase with a card. I took a deep breath and opened it.

I’m sorry. -Jackson

How did he know this was my favorite flower? Tyson must have helped him; I never mentioned the kind of flowers I liked. I'm going to have a hard time ignoring him if he keeps this up. It’s a nice gesture but I’m going to need more.