Chapter 10: The meds made me do it

NATE

I'd had some killer headaches in my day, thanks to the side effects of medication and other treatments, but this one was a definite contender for the worst one. I lay in my hospital bed, staring at the ceiling tiles and waiting for the dose of painkiller I'd just been given to take effect.

"Nate."

Quinn's voice was soft and questioning; she wasn't sure if I were truly awake or not. I steeled myself against the pain and turned my head just a little to track her movement toward me.

"I'm awake." My voice sounded faraway and kind of slurred. Yeah, maybe those meds were kicking in, after all.

"My mom and I are going to leave in just a minute. Is there anything ...do you need anything before I go?"

I managed a smile. "Nah, I'm good." My lips felt dry and numb, and I licked them, wondering idly if Quinn might be turned off by dry lips. Should I ask her? No, I decided. I shouldn't point out any of my deficiencies, on the off chance she might not notice.

"Okay. Well ...I guess I'll see you tomorrow. The doctor told your mom and dad that you'd probably be released in the afternoon, so if you want to text me when you get home, I'll come by. If you want."

"Of course, I want. I always want you, Quinn. Always. Everrrrrry day." My eyelids had become too heavy to keep open, and I groped blindly for Quinn's hand. When I felt her slim fingers close around mine, I relaxed. "I always wanted to hold your hand. And kiss you. Do you like when lips are dry? I use lip balm sometimes, but I don't have it here."

"Nate, I think you're sleepy." Quinn's tone was strained. "You go to sleep, and I'll see-"

"You didn't tell anyone what really happened today, right? I don't want them to know. 'Spartly my fault, you know. I made 'em mad. I pushed Brent. Teased him."

"No, Nate. That's not true." I recognized that emotion. Quinn was mad. Or frustrated. Which usually meant Leo was involved.

"Where's Leo?" I managed to open one eye a little bit. Quinn looked fuzzy and odd, but I didn't miss the raw hurt on her face when I mentioned his name.

"He went home. Or I guess actually, he went to football practice." Yeah, there was definite bitterness there. "He said he'll see you when you're out of here."

"You're pissed at him." Only my tongue felt a little big in my mouth, and it came out "pithed". I'd never lisped, never had any speech issues, and it made me want to laugh now, hearing myself talk like this.

"Why do you say that? Oh, you mean because you two boys concocted a cover story so that the jerks who let you fall down the steps-or maybe even outright pushed you down-will get away with it? And you expect me to go along with that? Why would that make me mad, Nate?" Quinn was practically hissing. Shit, she was really upset.

"Don't be mad, Quinn." My eyes were both closed again. Keeping even one open was too hard. "This is better, this way. Trust me, honey." The endearment slid off my tongue like butter. Some distant part of my brain went into panic mode that I'd said it, but why shouldn't I? I loved Quinn. She was my girl. I should tell her how I feel. Holding back ...why I had been doing that? I was just wasting time.

"I love you, Quinn."

The meds were pulling me deeper now, dragging me away from Quinn and from this conversation, and that was okay, too. Because the pain was dulled, and I could sleep.

The last thing I heard before I fell deep into the drugged sleep was Quinn's voice. She sounded sad.

"Love you, too, Nate. Sleep well. I'll see you tomorrow."