New Recruit…New Feelings

LII

I was nervous, yet excited to see the woman who ruled every hour of my life.

"Heard LII."

It was the same voice I knew from my comm, but without the filter, it sounded closer and much thicker. "Thank you for coming so quickly. How are you?"

It wasn't a question I'd ever been asked by her. "Fine, ma'am," I said, and my voice came out small in that huge room. "Tired, but fine."

"Good.” I almost saw the eye nod. “Please sit.”

I dragged my aching body to the desk, dropping down on the chair with an exhausted exhale.

"I'll be brief, because I know you've had a long day," the Ruler said. "I've been watching you for some time, LII. I've seen how you work during the monthly visits, keeping the Livings in order, pushing yourself to the limit and beyond.”

It was my job.

"You've shown exemplary leadership," she went on. "Courage, grit, and judgment, and that's rarer than you'd believe. The Command is very proud of you."

"Thank you, ma'am," I managed, my chest tightening with a feeling I couldn’t explain. Nobody had uttered those words to me since my parents passed.

I swallowed back the tears that knotted in my throat.

"That's why I'm promoting you, effective today. You will serve as a training officer."

I blinked. "Training...?"

"New recruits," she explained. "You'll be responsible for one of them, to begin with. He's capable, but he needs guidance. He needs someone steady." There was a brief pause that hung in the air. “He needs you.”

My fingers curled as my hands rested on my thighs. She was putting her faith in the wrong person. I couldn’t hold down a job or save my parents.

"Ma'am, with respect, I don't think I'm the right..."

"I think you are," she said, her tone holding a note of finality. "He's waiting for you in the Heard's counseling room. You'll find him there."

"Who is he?” I asked.

The symbol flickered as static roared back, loud enough to make my ears ring, before the screen went dark, plunging the room into silence again.

I sat there with my hands in my lap, staring at my own faint reflection on the screen.

Training officer.

***

The words echoed through my mind nonstop as I walked out of the building, got into the van and stared out the window as it took me back to the building where the Heard lived together.

It persisted as I walked through the hallways, heading for the counseling room where we had mandated monthly sessions.

My fingers shook as I reached for the door’s handle, slowly turning it.

There was one person inside, as I’d expected.

He had his back to me, humming a tune under his breath. “Hi,” I said curtly.

He turned, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile when our eyes met. My lips parted in surprise…and he pointed as he rose to his feet.

“You,” he said. “It’s you.”

I recognized him.

The Heard from this morning. The new recruit with the eager-to-please attitude. My gaze dropped to the number stitched on his sleeve.

XC.

He had dark hair that fell over his forehead, with an expression that looked like trouble, barely contained. “Hi,” he grinned as he made his way to me, stretching out a hand. “I’m XC. I’ve heard so much about you, LII.”

I hesitated for a second, before offering my hand in response. He took it, his fingers sliding against my palm…

…and something raced through my body, foreign and shocking.

A feeling I hadn’t experienced in over two years. I withdrew quickly before it could settle, wiping my hands on my thigh.

“I’m your training officer,” I said curtly, harder than I’d intended. “Which means there are rules. And you’re to follow every single one of them. Do you understand?”

He nodded, but I caught the mischievous smile that briefly tugged at his lips. “Yes.”

“Good,” I nodded. “See you tomorrow bright and early.”

I turned away before he could say anything, making my way out of the room and closing the door behind me.

It’s nothing. Just nerves. I told myself.

Even though there was nothing logical to explain why, for the first time in years, someone had managed to make my stomach flutter for a few seconds.

***

The sound of a knock on my door woke me up the next morning. I subconsciously reached for my gun under my pillow, even though I knew there wasn’t a threat in the Heard building.

I took a deep breath as I removed the thin blanket that we were given to keep the cold away, shrugging on a jacket before making my way to the door.

My brows scrunched in a frown when the door swung open. XC stood in the corridor, already in uniform, his boots laced, his hair damp and a grin on his face like there was something to be happy about.

"Bright and early," he said.

"It's five in the morning." I grunted.

"You said early,” he reminded me, holding out two paper cups with steam curling from the lids. "I brought coffee.”

I arched a questioning brow.

“I figured you hadn’t slept and I…well,” he cleared his throat, “—everyone says I make the best coffee.”

I stared hard at him, my gaze flickering to the cups for a second before lifting back to his face. "How do you know I didn't sleep?"

He smiled sheepishly, lifting his shoulders. “I might’ve asked around. I wanted to know enough about you, so we wouldn’t get off on the wrong foot.”

I collected a cup from him, my lips curling in a frown. The coffee smelled amazing, but I wasn’t about to start giving compliments. “Your first mistake was asking about me. The second was bringing coffee without asking. The third—” I paused. I didn’t have anything to say.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” I said gruffly. When he didn’t move, I pointed at the door.

“Oh yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

The door closed as I took a deep breath.

I stared at the coffee suspiciously, taking off the cover and bringing it to my lips. My eyes widened as I took a sip. It was good. Better than anything I’d tasted in a while.

And exactly why I couldn’t drink it.

I walked to the sink close to the window and poured it down the drain.