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LAWS OF THE WOLF 11
The car was rocking. An empty stomach twisted painfully, especially when the SUV, rushing away from the city, ran into a bump or pit.The long-sleeve top, jeans, and comfortable loafers the nurse helped me put on were brand new and free of any fragrance other than store-bought, which of course meant nothing to me.Husband ... Boris was sitting next to me in the back seat, occasionally throwing glances at me that I could not interpret. He did not say a word to me all the way, and the farther we drove away from the city in complete silence, the more anxious I became.In the hospital, even blocking the fact of memory loss, I did not seem to fully understand what it meant, but outside the hospital walls, where they could help me, the emptiness inside began to press in a completely different way, and it seemed to me that I was simply being torn apart and at the same time shaking from side to side.I didn't know what to expect, what to think. Apparently, my husband was a wealthy and authori
LAWS OF THE WOLF 12
Night closed over the house, and the darkness into which the bedroom plunged began to torment me. Questions grew in my head like mushrooms after rain, but there were no answers to them. Words couldn't express how awful and painful it was.Falling asleep from time to time, I seemed to see a screen in front of me. Because of her, I heard voices: familiar and not very, pleasant and not very. I think I even heard my own voice and laughter. However, no matter how I tried to penetrate behind the screen, to see what my subconscious wanted to show me, the hand passed through it, as if I were a ghost and life in all its manifestations was no longer available to me.Maybe that's how it was, and partly ... But what kind of "partially" is there ?! Having lost my memory, I ceased to exist. She didn't die, but she didn't live either. She breathed, but not fully. Loved ... Probably loved, but without a heart. It turns out that this was also possible.In the morning I stood under a hot shower for a l
LAWS OF THE WOLF 13
The sound of the rain lulled me to sleep, but the darkness that unleashed the tentacles of emptiness drove away sleep, along with the smell of blood that followed me into bed.Out of the corner of my ear, I heard female moans coming from somewhere in the corridor, but my consciousness refused to process them, and concentrated solely on the sound of a shot that sounded in my head.The wound under his chest throbbed like a living thing, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his lower abdomen. The appendages were whipped like a mixer, and a red-hot poker was driven into the crotch.It became wet between my legs and I swayed to the bathroom. Urine was brown and with it brown clots came out of me. The body was trembling.Somehow I got back to bed and, swallowing tears and excruciating screams, I crouched under the covers, dreaming of falling asleep, not feeling pain, not smelling blood and violence, not hearing the sound of a shot, not feeling myself passed through a meat grinder piec
LAWS OF THE WOLF 14
The courage caused by a tiny memory left with the doctor, and apathy surged through me. It was not so much caused by his words about infertility, but by the simple fact that nothing could last forever.Alyosha brought me more coffee. Boris disappeared somewhere: either he closed himself in his office, or he left home altogether. To be honest, I didn't care. Oddly enough, I was glad to be alone, to digest, so to speak, the doctor's visit and in general everything that had happened since I returned home.Home ... Anyway, neither this word, nor the word "husband" somehow did not fit in my head, and somewhere there was a tapping, but a feeling of foreignness drilled through.I tried to think soberly and rely on my feelings, since my memory refused to help me, but that was the problem: there were no memories, and the sensations were very contradictory, confused and exciting.Anxiety rolled over me, then let go, but something else did not take its place, and the muffled emptiness inside beg
LAWS OF THE WOLF 15
The long-awaited rays of the sun enthusiastically dried the puddles in the territory adjacent to the house. The wind was fresh and dampness was constantly rising from the earth, but the sun and spring were doing their job, and I didn’t feel like sitting in the room at all. In general, I wanted to wear something beautiful, heels are a must, so that it would be more fun to walk and listen to their perky knock.Boris said that I didn’t really like to dress up before and in general I wasn’t interested in anything. I had to take his word for it, for lack of my own memories.However, having listened to the advice of the doctor, I decided to give up forcibly fishing out of my head at least something and give myself a calm and even opportunity to remember everything as the blank slate of my life was filled with new events and memories. And I decided to start with the wardrobe.It was probably stupid to be puzzled by this, especially considering that I didn’t even remember when I was supposed
LAWS OF THE WOLF 16
The massive figure of Boris blocked the entire doorway. Silently and surprisingly graceful for his size, he walked into the room and seemed to absorb all the light in it.Glancing over at the doctor who was kneeling in front of me, still holding my hands, he stopped behind him.- How is my girl? he asked casually.Pasha cast a sidelong glance at the shadow that flickered in the corridor, judging by the smell, belonged to a wolf with a scar, and got up from his knees.- He is recovering faster than could be predicted, - he answered just as casually, turning to face Boris. “You have it, Boris Sergeevich, a fighter,” he added, looking directly at him."That's right," the husband chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets in a relaxed way.I sucked in the air, confidently filled not only with the smell of a wolf, but also with the smell of the threat hidden in the words and movements of Boris.I didn't know what to think, what to do. What did it all mean? Husband with sharp, wolf hearing
LAWS OF THE WOLF 17
The night, saturated with the smell of blood and fear, tormented me, mercilessly dragging me through all the circles of hell again and again.I was afraid to sleep, I was afraid to lie in the dark, but I was also afraid to turn on the light so as not to give out that I was not sleeping, which means that something was wrong.Through the sound of the rain, I occasionally heard footsteps outside the door. Uncertain and cautious, they most likely belonged to Alyosha, in the role of a faithful nanny I now doubted, as I doubted everything in general.Pasha... The young doctor who took care of me paid with his life... For what? For silence? But about what?"You mustn't believe..." I heard him say over and over again.The answer was obvious: I shouldn't have believed Boris.Even then, in the hospital, Pasha did not want to let me go home, he wanted me to stay there, perhaps to protect me, to tell the truth about what happened to me, or rather, who did this to me.Boris told me that there were
LAWS OF THE WOLF 18
- Do you smoke? I asked Alyosha, who was looking askance at me.I did not touch breakfast, allowing myself to drink only coffee. From a long sitting in a chair, the body was a little numb, but I was not going to get up yet.Alyosha gave me a suspicious look and silently took a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his jacket. I think that I used to smoke, otherwise it would not have occurred to me to ask for a smoke."It's bad," he remarked imperturbably, lighting a cigarette for me.He himself did not smoke. At least, before I did not notice the smell behind him, but nevertheless I carried cigarettes with me. Weird."To live too," I answered, coughing.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stare at the handprint that had almost come off my wrist.Even before, I was a little incomprehensible to his role as a nanny, but now, having learned a tiny piece of the truth, I realized that Alyosha was assigned to me not in the role of a nanny, that is, not only in the role of a nanny,
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