3

The corridor was dark. From the only room my brother and I shared, along with the dim light of the day coming through the window, cigarette smoke and a wolfish smell streamed.

Like my brother, I was a half-breed, but the wolf genes in me were passive. In fact, I was an ordinary person. However, I could distinguish the smell of a werewolf unmistakably, and the one that tickled my nostrils did not belong only to my brother.

- Sasha, I'm home! I yelled as I took off my shoes.

It was pointless to behave quietly, as well as, in fact, to announce your arrival. Sharp, wolfish hearing could still catch me when I was just getting out of Egor's car.

In response, vulgar laughter and the clink of bottles rang out from the room.

- Crap! I cursed, deliberately dumping the contents of the bag onto the floor.

Leaning down to gather my belongings, I reached into a niche under the old hallway with one hand and drew my gun. With a full magazine of nine-millimeter, silver bullets, it weighed more than a kilogram, but its heavy and cold handle habitually lay in my palm, ready to come to the rescue at any moment.

The safety lever on the left side slipped easily, unlocking the firing mechanism. I squeezed my hand tighter, pulled it a little behind my back and slowly headed into the room.

- Hey, beauty!

A sharp movement around the corner, and I found myself in the steel grip of the wolf's paws. Plump lips, reeking of fetid, beer saliva, reached out to my face.

- Hi! - I answered calmly, pressing the muzzle of the gun to the groin of Damir, my brother's best friend, who never missed an opportunity to grope me. - As a young life?

- Hey, Sanya... - Damir tensed up and, unclenching his hands, took a step back. - I think your sister played...

The brother, who was sitting on the couch in an unbuttoned shirt and with a bottle of beer, looked blankly at his friend.

“Next time, come with a wad of money,” he advised, “maybe then she wants to play something else with you ?!

Damir chuckled, running an appraising glance over my hand with a pistol.

What do you say, Kira? Will you give me green bricks?

"Keep them to yourself," I replied indifferently. - Come in handy when you're a member of the pieces to sew. Get out of here!

Damir's lips twisted angrily. He, a full-fledged werewolf, could effortlessly pick up a gun and wring my neck, but he was not stupid enough to check the speed of my reaction, not to mention the speed of a nine-millimeter, silver bullet that could easily tear his household to pieces.

Pulling himself together, he returned his usual carefree smile to his face.

- See you in the evening, - he threw his brother and left, slamming the door.

I ran after it and closed it with all the locks, hid the pistol back in the niche, after putting it on the safety, and sighed wearily.

Damir, although he was considered his brother's best friend, did not appear so often, which is why his presence in the apartment worried me so much, because usually it foreshadowed another bad idea that Sasha was about to get involved in.

“Someday he will get tired of hearing your refusals, sister,” my brother said casually when I returned to the room.

"Someday I'll get tired of threatening, and I'll shoot his balls off," I replied, looking at my watch.

Before work, I had enough time to take a shower, change clothes and even have breakfast.

- Where have you been all night? Did you tumble with your cop again? You stink them!

- It stinks - don't smell it, - I snapped, taking the bottle from him. "And if you know where I've been, why are you asking?" I gave my brother an expressive look. - If you are going to get into something again, then do not think that Yegor will pull you out. One time was enough for him.

- Don't be a pessimist, Kira! The brother broke into a self-satisfied smile. - You know that I always have everything under control.

I turned away from him and rolled my eyes. It was just that I knew perfectly well how everything was captured by him, or rather, how everything was NOT captured, and the mere fact that he claimed the opposite made his hair stand on end and his skin get goosebumps.

At such moments, I wished that my wolf genes were passive. Otherwise, I would have beaten him properly and put him in some cellar on a chain, just to save him from a worse fate. However, he would have found adventures in the basement.

Sasha seemed to have been programmed for self-destruction, and sometimes it was very hard to love him.

- Well, don't pout! Sasha got up from the couch and walked over to me. - Everything will be a bundle! he added, kneading my shoulders. - And if not, then you will always insure me? Spread your legs in front of anyone you need ...

- Maybe let the one who has everything seized, spreads his legs? - I was indignant, dropping my brother's hands from my shoulders. - And I already told you that with Yegor then everything was completely different.

- So or not ... - my brother answered irritably, taking away a bottle of beer from me. - Who cares?

- The difference is big, Sasha! I replied angrily, turning to face him. - Sooner or later there will be no way back! There will be no loopholes! There will be nothing! You will sit down, if not worse! When will you realize that you are not a father! Even he couldn't resist, and you can't even do that! Remember, brother! I spoke softer, again allowing myself to cling to the flimsy hope of getting through to him. - Look how we live! I waved my hand around the shabby room. - We have a lot of problems, and you just do what you want to increase them! Why can't you just live? Find a normal job, with prospects? Maybe start a family? Or...

- You have a normal job, - Sasha interrupted me, - but we are still here. You don't get paid enough. And even for this, you let the boss fuck you, and then you get drunk and run to your cop so that he can help you forget and forgive yourself for becoming like everyone else again!

- Don't you dare judge me! I flared up, and for a moment there was a low growl in my voice. - You live from this, you eat from this, you dress at the very least from this, but you yourself don’t bring a penny into the house! And you dare to torment me with your antics!

“I don’t judge,” the brother objected sadly. He put the bottle on the floor and took my hands. - I just see how hard it is for you. I see how you look at beautiful things that are not available to you. I see how you see off the girls with which the men buy them. I see how much effort you put in not to be like them, not to depend on someone, but you try to achieve everything yourself, but, Kira, you are still dependent, you still bend under the boss, and we are still here! Your efforts are not paying off! You are so beautiful to me! My brother let go of my hands and lifted his chin to catch my eye. - You were born to walk in silks, furs, trousers and even wipe yourself with gilded paper!

“I don’t need this,” I lied shamefacedly, swallowing the bitter lump from his words.

Brains, perhaps, his brother did not have, but he was not to be observant.

- I just want your life to get better so that you...

“And I want,” he interrupted with fervour, “for your life to improve!” So that we, as mother wanted, together get out of these slums! You're not the only one who made her a promise. I gave too. So keep yours, and I'll work on mine, and, you'll see, very soon you will be the mistress of this city!

I wiped the misted bathroom mirror with my hand and peered into my reflection. Hot water and soap washed away my fatigue and the consequences of drinking, but my eyes ... My eyes did not lie, and they reflected the same dark abyss that was in my soul.

I blamed my brother for thinking that life had treated him unfairly, and that he now seemed to deserve compensation. He was no sacrifice, and everything he reaped was planted by his own hands.

I didn't consider myself a victim either. Like my brother, I reaped what I sowed.

I wanted to break free, I wanted to live differently, I wanted to achieve everything myself and not depend on anyone, but despite the fact that I did not respect those women who fell under men for the sake of a good life, sometimes it occurred to me that I was just in secret envied them. They, having correctly assessed themselves and their real possibilities, chose the most reasonable and accessible path, spitting on its moral side.

But I, throwing beautiful words and talking about honor, pride, and dignity, still went the path of least resistance and, allowing the boss to fuck me, called it a compromise, a necessary evil, so as not to die of hunger and, as my brother said, after each time she got drunk and went to seek oblivion and forgiveness in the arms of Yegor.

But wasn't what I called compromise just a front for the fact that, like with my brother, I was just afraid and didn't feel strong, smart, and brave enough to take my life into my own hands and really change it? for the better, to say "no" to the circumstances and generally send everything to hell?

My brother believed he deserved more and better, but what did I believe? What did I want? And, most importantly, what could I do?

Sometimes it was easy to believe that the universe put spokes in the wheels, but in fact it is not so. Yes, there were different circumstances, and, at first glance, it might seem that there was no other choice but to surrender, or vice versa - to tear your teeth and claws, as the wolves did, but this was also not the case.

It was not the universe that decided for us what to do, but we ourselves - we ourselves chose what seemed to us the most correct or easier, but it was possible to do otherwise. There was a choice. Is always. I just needed to be brave and take the risk.