**BEN POV**When it finally happened, I was over the moon. Yellow. It was the color that meant a lot of hope for me, and it brought back memories of Ambrose and the plans we had made together. Clay wasn’t completely open about the color of the baby shower being yellow, but either way, he did a terrific job and made it work. Everything looked perfect. I was watching the view from outside my window. “Do you like it?” I turned around and found Nolan watching me. I smiled. “It’s beautiful...” I murmured and turned back to the window, watching Clay and Mom hang some balloons around the gazebo. “Then why do you look sad?” It was my baby shower…which was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, but I was just out of it. I sighed deeply. “I’m sorry; today just feels like a lot for me…I didn’t realize that my happiness has an expiration date.” Nolan placed a comforting hand over my shoulder. “You don’t have to do this whole baby shower if you don’t feel like it,
BEN POV I had taken Nolan’s advice. Maybe it was time to talk to my mother and figure things out. I had given her a call just after Clay left, and she was going to come over so we could talk about the baby shower. Thirty minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring. It was her. I stood up and went to answer the door. She gave me a small smile and embraced me. It felt like we had lost a lot of time. Her embrace felt foreign to me.The last time I saw her, I didn’t want anything to do with her because I had just found out that I was adopted. She pulled back, examining me. “Motherhood looks good on you, my dear. I’m sure Nolan can’t take his eyes off you,” she teased. The mere thought of Nolan checking me out made me wince. “Come in… and have a seat.” She walked in and closed the door. “This house is beautiful.” I nodded quietly, grabbing a quick snack from the kitchen. Marshmallows. I went back to the living room and found my mother looking at a picture of
BEN POV He was too close. Too close for comfort. So I took a step back. “What’s going on, Nolan? I heard someone’s voice.” He looked away, refusing to meet my gaze. “It was Clay; he was just passing by.”“Nolan?” He shook his head in disbelief. “I think I should go to bed before I do something that I’ll regret later.” Before I could utter a word, Nolan had already gone upstairs. Was I missing something? I went upstairs to retrieve my phone. Once I found it, I decided to call Clay, but he wasn’t answering. This only made me feel anxious. Nolan and Clay were hiding something, and I was going to get to the bottom of the issue. I sat in the armchair near the window, watching the stars. It felt like he was watching me. “Are you there? Each passing day only seems to get worse, Ambrose, and most of the time I feel like I’m drowning in quicksand.” A lone tear rolled down my cheek. “Nolan and I are some kind of team… Why did you leave all those shares, Ambr
NOLAN POVSleep wasn’t even an option. Not tonight.I sat at the kitchen counter, staring at the half-empty mug in front of me. The tea I made for her, the same rooibos blend my father used to brew, had gone cold. I hadn’t touched it. Maybe because some twisted part of me felt like I had no right to drink it. Like even now, even after everything, I was trespassing on something that wasn’t mine.It’s funny. You can share a roof with someone, breathe the same air, pass them the sugar over breakfast and still feel like a stranger in your own home.I ran a hand through my hair, pushing back the frustration, the ache, the… whatever this suffocating feeling was. Grief. Guilt. Love. It was all tangled up so tight I couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.Her voice still echoed in my head.“It can’t, Nolan.”Those three words were a scalpel sharp, precise, unforgiving.She was right. Of course, she was right.This thing between us whatever it was had no future. Not here. Not now.N
BEN POVI closed the door to my room and that’s when it happened.The dam broke.The tears I’d been holding back all evening came flooding out, falling faster than I could wipe them away. My chest felt tight, like someone was sitting on it, like breathing itself had become a battle I wasn’t sure I was ready for.God… Why did it hurt this much?I slid down against the door until I was sitting on the floor, knees pulled to my chest, hands trembling. I thought I was done crying. I thought… maybe I’d finally made peace with everything. But peace was a lie, wasn’t it? A pretty word people threw around when they were too exhausted to fight with themselves anymore.I didn’t understand Nolan.Why was he holding onto a love that broke him in the first place?I was the one who betrayed first. I was the one who walked away. I left him standing in the wreckage of something we both swore would never fall apart.And yet… his heart kept finding its way back to me.It was unfair. It was so damn u
NOLAN POVI didn’t sleep that night either.Ben had gone quiet after we talked. Not the kind of quiet that begs for space—hers was the silence that came after a war. I’d seen it before, in myself. After the funeral. After the last fight with my father. After I realized I’d never really known the woman I was supposed to marry.But sitting next to her now, the city below us, her hands wrapped around a chipped mug of rooibos tea—I didn’t feel that same emptiness. I felt…raw. Awake. Like the earth had shifted beneath us and neither of us knew what to call this new terrain.She hadn’t cried. That scared me more than if she had.I wanted to say something, anything, but I knew better than to rush her grief. Ben had always carried pain like it was part of her bones—hidden, quiet, indestructible. She made suffering look graceful, which made it easy for people to forget she was still breaking beneath the surface.I hadn’t forgotten.Not this time.She fell asleep on the couch just before dawn,