LOT Part 1-1

Lack of Trust Part 1-1

I was standing in front of a huge metal double door. Two men were standing on either side of the door with a rifle in their hands.  I looked around to see.

Today I was standing again where I stood seven years ago.

Seven years

Big period of my life

Seven years ago, I was looking at this place in fear and today for me this was the place where I had spent seven years of my life which stole a lot from me and taught me a lot that we had to fight our own battles. No one will come to help us. A person came to this world alone and also left alone, just coming to this world full of illusions, we got misunderstanding that we were not alone when no one was with us.

This place taught me that life was not fairy-tale rather it was a battlefield where people needed only one chance to defeat you, to crash you under their feet mercilessly.

This place was proof of my tears, sorrow, pain and regret of trusting the wrong person.

Trust

Trust which in itself was a guarantee that even if the whole world stood against us, the person who had trust for us will turn against the whole world for us.

You all must be wondering what place I was talking about. I was talking about the place where people came to pay for their crimes.  I did the biggest crime in this world.  I trusted the wrong person whom I shouldn't have. I made him the owner of my life and my heart and he brutally crashed my life and heart under his anger with his mistrust on me.

Seven years ago, I wanted to prove my innocence but now I didn't want anything, not because I had accepted my defeat but because He and they were not worthy at all.

I was telling you about this place, so this place was called Central Jail, where people got punished for their crimes but there were some people like me who got punished for the crime done by others.

Today was the day on which my punishment for that crime which I did not commit was ended. today I was going out of this huge door.

“Seven years” I sighed heavily remembering my life in this year.

 Today I was going to see the world outside this door.  I spent seven years of my life behind this door.

When I first stepped inside this door, I was so scared but today there was nothing inside me, just an emptiness.

Even I had no emotion for those people who were responsible for sending me here to make my life hell.

I was not one of those heroines who took revenge for the injustice done to them because I thought that those people were not even worthy of my hatred because hate was also an emotion that connected us to another person and I did not want to have any relation with them all. All those people were part of my past that were not anymore needed in my present and future.

I Just wanted to go out of here and live my life peacefully and want to find a reason that could give me hope to move forward in life. I had a reason to live life even after losing everything but my cruel destiny took her from me mercilessly. 

A little pure soul

My heart pained remembering her little cute round face.

“don’t go there” my inner voice pitied me to which I lightly shook my head to gain her composure.

"It's time for you to go out. Wishing you all the best for your freedom" said a police constable, seeing me standing there. He opened the small door for me and smiled at me. I also smiled at him but it was not the smile that came from the heart, it was the smile that was done just to show people.

I put my foot out the door first. I took a deep breath to get the power to face for all that waiting outside for me. I came out the door and saw how much the outside world had changed in these seven years. I looked around but nothing changed. Everything was the same but I had changed completely, north to south. 

I still had hope in my heart that maybe someone would come to meet me but who was I kidding. In the last seven years no one came to meet me, so who will come now? 

"Be strong girl and focus on your new life" I said to myself.

I knew where to start my new life. Away from this city where I might find peace.   

When I was lost in my thoughts, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I jerked away from that touch out of reflex.

"Sorry for touching you. I've been calling you for a while but you weren't responding so I had to touch you" A strong manly voice said to me. When I looked up to see the owner of manly voice, a man was standing in front of me. I thought this guy was in his early 30's.  He was handsome man with fair complexion and muscular body but I didn't know him.

"Are you Miss Khanak???" He asked me offering me his genuine not like me fake one.

Sorry.......  I did not introduce me to all of you. My name was Khanak only Khanak my name had no last name. I did not have a last name, neither the last name that was with me since birth nor the last name that someone gave me.

His last name

"Are you listening???" his voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, I am Khanak but who are you?" I asked him confusedly because I didn't know this man, I had never met him before today.

"I am Anita Aunty's nephew. She has asked me to bring you with me" he said tome casually.

Anita aunty

Sweet lady with kind heart 

My only support system in 7 years

Anita Aunt had spent 5 years in this prison with me. Two years ago, she left after completing her sentence but she promised me that when I came out after completing my sentence, she will come to take me with her.  She took care of me like her own daughter in jail. She loved me like her own daughter. She was the only one to whom I told everything about me even when I didn't utter a single word to anyone else.

Anita Aunty was a kind and pure hearted lady. She spent 18 years of her life in this jail. She had killed her husband because he was an animal under human skin. He used to beat Aunty and her son like animals. She had killed her husband to save her son because her husband was a Monster.

She told me that one day when her husband tried to kill her son, she killed her husband in self-defence.

She was the daughter of a rich family but she fell in love with her husband and went against her family and got married to him but her husband was not what she had assumed for him, he was a greedy and vicious man. He did not love her. He only loved her money. When her father ousted her from his property, His plan to get rich failed miserably, he got super angry.

He started taking his anger out on Anita Aunty. She never told her family about her husband and his abuse because of her embarrassment. She was deeply ashamed of the person for whom she left her family who loved her beyond limits. She used to feel guilty for hurting her family, so she never told them about this, nor did she try to take their help but when his father got to know that she killed her husband and was jailed for the crime, he came to meet her and took her son with him, promising to take good care of him.

"How can I trust that Anita Aunty has sent you?" I asked him suspiciously. My life had taught me over the years that didn't trust anyone.

He arched up his eyebrow in amusement at my question but without uttering a word he took out his phone from his pocket and called someone.

"Hello Auntie you talk and tell her that you sent me here because she is doubting on me” he laughed and extended his hand to hand over the phone to me. I looked at the man again and then his hand that had the phone. I took the phone from him and held to my ear.

"Hello Khanak baccha (child), There is no need to be afraid of him, my health suddenly deteriorated, so I sent Atul to pick you up. Now don't tell me that you don't want to come because I won't listen to you so be a good girl and come with him. Whatever you want to decide about your life, I will not interfere in it, but first you come here with Atul." She said to me in motherly strict tone, not said infact she ordered me.

"Okay aunty" I said. She was already ill I didn't want to stress her. When I needed someone, she was the only one with me so I didn’t have the heart not to accept her sweet demand and I also wanted to meet her once before going towards my new life.

"If all your doubts are cleared now, then let's go," Mr. Atul said with same smile but I didn't reciprocate his smile as I was so tired of giving fake smile to everyone. I needed some rest from this formality.

I knew that was rude but I couldn't help it.

He guided me to his car and we settled down in it. Journey from Mumbai to Jaipur was completely silent as I was not interested to interact with anyone and he also understood this and didn’t say anything to me except a few important words.

After few hours we reached where Anita Aunty was. Aunty lived with her family in Jaipur. The car entered a beautiful mansion through a large gate. It was a huge mansion but it didn’t amaze me as my house was also like this. I was born with a silver spoon but life had brought me here where it all mean nothing to me.

The car halted at the entrance of the Mansion building.

There Anita Aunty was standing with her family. I felt nervous seeing her family because this was the first time in 7 years that I was meeting people outside prison. I didn't know how people outside will see me, as a criminal who had spent 7 years in jail or as a normal human being which I am. I started to feel self-conscious about myself.

The irony of my life was that the girl who was full of confidence, today she afraid to raise her eyes in front of people as she did not want to see despise, loathe, disgust and many more bad things for her in their eyes.

“Khanak” Anita auntie’s shriek voice snapped me out from my self-pity world. My head titled up to see who was smiling at me brightly which gave me some relief as I knew she loved me like her own daughter but still her family.

Will her family accept a girl who had spent 7 years in jail??

Why was Aunty in jail, her family knew but they didn't know why I was. I had only told my story to Anita Aunty, didn't tell her the name of anyone but it was not a big deal for her to know because she will get to know all the information in the police records using her family influence. That's why I took a promise from her that she would never try to know about me.

I opened the car door with throbbing heart and went to her who took me bone crashing in very next moment.

"I am very verrrry happy that you accepted my wish and come here." She chirped loudly parting from me. she showered my face with kisses like a mother. Now I didn't like it if someone showed their affection to me but I was ok for this lady who had given me the place of a daughter in her heart.

"I should say thank you for accepting me as your daughter" I said with a genuine smile. This smile of mine was only for Auntie because apart from her no one made me feel that there was someone with me too.

"I'd rather say thank you to you for accepting me as your mother" she said, lovingly caressing my cheeks with her hand.

"Somebody will also introduce me or I will have to do this auspicious work myself." A sweet voice came behind aunty.

 My eyes travelled behind aunty to find a girl who smiling looking at me. She was beautiful with fair complexion. her age and mine were the same

"At least you will do some work yourself" A man slapped her back head lightly making her growled in anger. She glared him which he royally ignored turning towards me. he came to me and put his hand on my head which made me feel little awkward as well as it made me feel warm too.

"Let me introduce myself My name is Ashish and from I am your elder brother." He said lovingly caressing my head. I knew who he was. He was Anita Aunty's son. she always talked about him.

"We should all go inside. These people must have been exhausted from such a long journey." said a woman smiling at me. She was a beautiful woman.

"Thank god you saved me. We're really tired. I think we should rest first then we'll introduce each other." Atul bro said side hugging that lady who patted his arm in return.

Continued……...