23

Night is the most terrible time of the day, revealing to us the most hidden fears. They come out of our inner darkness and always attack suddenly, tormenting and poisoning every cell.

I wanted to move Nikita's bed to Grisha's and my bedroom so that I could be there all the time at night, but Alyosha said that I would only rummage from corner to corner and disturb the child's sleep, and I had to agree with this. If during the day I still somehow wanted to sleep, then at night it was as if matches had been inserted into my eyes, and they simply refused to close.

After washing, I put on Grisha's T-shirt. Fuck that she was white, that is, not lucky, as Alyosha said, color. Luck turned away from me a long time ago anyway, and everything that I had in my life was as labored out as one could imagine.

Falling into a kind of melancholy, I spun around the bed, feeling the carvings on the canopy posts. Grisha removed the roof, leaving only the beams, on which cream curtains hung, which did not i