Prologue

“I’m glad it’s finally over.” Ryan Davis tossed the shirt he’d just unbuttoned and removed into his locker.

Shane Nolan grinned despite his weariness. “Really? You were involved for like three days, man. You had to do some arresting, but you weren’t undercover.”

The younger cop glared at him. “It was still stressful.” His expression softened. “I’ll concede you and Sean had the worst of it though.”

“No argument there,” said Sheriff Robinson. Jack, Shane reminded himself. Jack was only a few years older than him, but he had an authoritative presence that made it difficult to think of him as just Jack.

“It couldn’t have been easy to let the bust happen in your town,” said Sean, Shane’s twin brother and fellow cop.

“Definitely not. Jack was chomping at the bit to bust them up weeks ago.” That contribution came from Derek Reynolds, Jack’s deputy. “It’s been hard keeping this a secret from my family too. Sera asked several times where I’m sneaking off to, as though I’m not wearing a uniform.”

“Who’s Sera?” asked Shane.

“My sister.” Derek collapsed on the bench in the locker room, looking as tired as Shane felt.

That happened when you spent three hours breaking up a multicounty drug ring and performing dozens of arrests—and they’d only gotten a small portion of the drug empire. There was more work to be done, but not for Shane. He was getting out of the undercover world, and it was the same for his twin. They’d already discussed it, and he knew Sean wanted to get home and find Chloe.

There was no one for him to go back to. He felt utterly alone for a moment, thinking about Gina, his former partner and fiancée, before she’d been shot by the cartel. Her death had been the catalyst for joining Sean on this huge undercover operation, but he’d lost his passion to continue. He’d had the satisfaction of slapping on the cuffs for Eduardo Salazar this very night. Knowing one of the captains of the cartel, and the one who’d killed Gina, was finally behind bars was a weight off his mind.

As though Ryan had read his thoughts, the patrolman asked, “So, what happens now?”

“Shower and sleep. About three years’ worth ought to do it.” Sean yawned.

Shane nodded. “That sounds like a plan.”

Jack shrugged. “Back to quiet small-town living for us.”

“I can’t wait for underage drinking and parties to be our biggest concerns again,” said Derek.

“Speeding tickets and DUIs,” said Ryan with a hint of melancholy. He was likely still riding high on the buzz of adrenaline from being involved in the takedown.

“We’ll have to testify,” said Shane.

“That’ll take months with the way our system works,” said Sean with a hint of cynicism.

“I’m sure.” Jack yawned and stretched. “We’ll probably have to come to the city. I’ll bet most of these perps get their venues changed.”

“We’ll go for drinks when it’s time. The first round is on me,” said Sean.

“I can’t even think about drinking right now without falling asleep.” Ryan yawned. “I still have to check on my stepsister too. I promised my folks I’d look in on her periodically while they’re on a six-month cruise around the world.”

“It was good working with you. All of you,” said Shane. His brother immediately nodded.

“It was our pleasure,” said Jack. “You helped us get scum out of this town. I don’t want my daughter, Julie, or her friend, Sera, exposed to any of that.”

“We were happy to help.” Derek bit back a yawn. “I’m going to hit the shower.”

“Same, before I check on Lexie. She has this piece of crap boyfriend I don’t trust.” Ryan waved at all of them before wandering from the locker room to the showers.

Shane sat on the bench for the longest time, trying to summon the energy to move. Part of him wanted to stretch out on the hard plank and fall asleep right there. Another part knew he’d be more comfortable back in his hotel room. A smaller part of him considered driving straight back to the city tonight, but he shrugged off the idea.

It wasn’t the place he’d shared with Gina, and his small house was normally a refuge. Tonight, for some reason, it just underscored how achingly alone he was. He had Sean, and he was lucky to have a twin, but getting Salazar was bittersweet. It brought the bastard justice and Shane some closure, but it could never bring back Gina. He supposed he might fall in love again someday, but the idea seemed almost laughable.

He was too tired to laugh and too tired to seriously entertain the idea of anything too heavy tonight. Whatever the future held in the coming days and weeks, it didn’t matter tonight.

Sean sat down beside him, preventing Shane from lying down. “How are you?” His identical eyes shone with concern.

Shane shrugged. “I’ll live.” The answer was abrupt but the best he could do.

“Do you feel any better knowing Salazar is in jail and will probably be in prison for the rest of his life?”

“Yeah, though it’s not enough. It doesn’t bring back Gina.” He’d spent the last four years trying to get justice for her. He’d dragged his brother into this mess, bringing him into the undercover operation because he’d needed him. He felt guilty for not saving Gina and for not sparing Sean.

“I know. I can’t imagine…” He trailed off, looking pensive.

“She’s still out there, and she’s probably waiting for you,” said Shane.

Sean shrugged. “Maybe, but that was four years ago. What if she’s forgotten about me? It was just a kiss, and then I left. She probably hates me.”

“Nah, I doubt it. Worst case scenario is she doesn’t remember you the same way, or her feelings have changed. You won’t know until you try.”

Sean slowly nodded. “I know you’re right, but damned if I don’t feel like a coward just thinking about approaching her after all this time.” He shrugged. “If we’d had something more concrete to build on, maybe I’d be more confident.”

“Love starts somewhere, brother. In your case, it was with a kiss. Don’t give up hope.”

Sean slanted a glance at him. “What about you?”

Shane felt defensive but tried to hide it. “What about me?”

“Are you still determined to avoid love?”

Shane grunted. “It’s never brought me anything but pain.”

“You should still be open to it.”

He started to argue but then shrugged. “I wouldn’t rule it out, I guess, but I can guarantee you I won’t be timid like I was with Gina. If I find her, she’s going to know she’s mine right away.”

“Let’s hope she agrees with you,” said Sean with a hint of wryness.

“Yeah.” Shane shrugged again. “Are you taking a shower?”

Sean sniffed himself theatrically. “I guess I’d better. Yuck.”

Shane laughed, watching his brother walk into the shower room. He’d find the energy to follow in a bit. His thoughts were still heavy with the night’s events, and his eyes wanted to close, but he finally made himself stand up and join the others, who were trickling out of the shower room by the time he got himself together.

Standing under the hot water a few minutes later, he felt his senses awakening again. He wished it were that easy to reactivate his heart and ability to feel again, though part of him would happily avoid ever loving someone again so much that losing them ripped his world apart.