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Chapter 9
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Letters to a Dead Daughter Chapter 9
I had no idea where Mom found the stack of stationery. It was pink and scented, the kind I had loved when I was alive. I had once saved up to buy a pack, then hidden it in the back of my drawer because it seemed too special to use.She found it.The first letter was short.[Dear Allison,[It rained today. Is it cold where you are?[Mom.]She folded the letter and slipped it into an envelope. On the front, she wrote, [For Allison.] Then she put a stamp in the corner and froze.She had nowhere to send it.So she tucked the letter beneath my pillow.She wrote another one the next day, then another the day after that. One letter at a time, each longer than the last.One read, [Dear Allison, [We did inventory at the supermarket today, and I worked until ten. [Whenever I came home late, you always left dinner warming for me. Now I come home, and the kitchen is cold.]Another said, [Dear Allison, [I bought oranges today. I ate one, and it was sour. [You used to ask for oran
Letters to a Dead Daughter Chapter 8
Dad's silence frightened Mom more than any argument.A week later, Mom finally reached her breaking point. During dinner, Dad picked up his plate and headed for the balcony again. Mom slammed her utensils down on the table."Terrence, what do you want from me?"Dad stopped, but didn't turn around."I know you blame me for what happened to Allison," Mom said, her voice trembling. "But I was her mother, too! Do you think I'm not devastated that she's gone?"Dad turned to face her. His eyes were sunken, and his cheekbones stood out sharply. He had lost more than 20 pounds in a single week. He stared at Mom for a long moment. Then he asked, "Did you enroll Catherine in those dance classes?"Mom froze."Three thousand dollars. The money that was supposed to pay for Allison's hospital stay. You wanted it for Catherine's dance classes so badly." Dad's voice was flat. "Now you don't have to spend it on Allison. Did you sign her up?"All the color drained from Mom's face."Why…"
Letters to a Dead Daughter Chapter 7
Mom set the plate down.She went into the kitchen and pulled the sliding door shut behind her. It didn't close all the way, leaving a narrow gap.She stood at the sink with both hands braced against the counter, her shoulders trembling.The faucet was running, but even the sound of the water couldn't cover the broken noises coming from her throat.Catherine came out of her room and stopped outside the kitchen. She watched Mom through the gap in the door but didn't go inside.She only stood there, gripping the cuff of her black coat so tightly that her knuckles turned white.After a while, she turned, went into my room, and closed the door.Everything looked exactly the way I had left it before I went to the hospital. A half-finished math test lay open on the desk. Beside my pillow sat the stuffed rabbit Catherine had wanted to throw away. I told her not to, washed it, and kept it by my bed.Catherine sat down on the edge of my bed and picked up the rabbit. After holding it fo
Letters to a Dead Daughter Chapter 6
Catherine stood in the doorway, watching Mom sit on the floor with me in her arms.She didn't come inside. She just stood there, clutching the leg of the red pants so tightly that her knuckles turned white.Mom suddenly stopped humming. She lowered her head and pressed her face against mine."Allison, why are you so cold?"Then she began to cry.She didn't wail. The sound seemed trapped in her throat. Her mouth opened as tears streamed down her face, and a thin, broken sound escaped with every breath.She sat there, holding me, her entire body shaking."I'm sorry... Allison, I'm so sorry..."Her tears fell onto my face and ran down my cheeks.They were cold. So was I.The hugs she had never given me while I was alive meant nothing now. I didn't want them anymore.Catherine remained in the doorway, watching Mom hold me and cry.Slowly, Catherine crouched down and buried her face against her knees. Her shoulders shook, but she didn't make a sound. Mom was crying, and Cather
Letters to a Dead Daughter Chapter 5
Mom's lips parted, then closed. Then they opened again, but no sound came out."Wh-what did you say?""Allison's dead. Myocarditis. She got here too late. The doctors did everything they could."Mom shook her head. "No. That's impossible. I only made one phone call. It was just a few minutes...""Twenty minutes," Dad said. "You were on the phone for twenty minutes."Mom went still."It takes twenty minutes to get from the local hospital to Riverside. Allison's heart stopped twice on the way, and the doctors here spent another half hour trying to save her." Dad's voice began to shake. "You spent twenty minutes on a phone call.""I didn't know…!" Mom's voice rose to a shriek. "I didn't know it was that serious! I thought they were just transferring her...""Her homeroom teacher gave you 100 dollars for the ride. The nurse called for you 3 times. The elevator doors closed right in front of you." Dad forced out each word. "You really didn't know?"Mom stood there with her mouth op
Letters to a Dead Daughter Chapter 4
The elevator doors slid shut.Through the narrowing gap, I saw Mom turn away with the phone still pressed to her ear, gesturing with her free hand. Catherine stood beside her, staring up at her.Then the elevator began to descend.The nurse swore under her breath. The doctor continued pressing on my chest, again and again.I stared at the ceiling.Mom was still talking to the dance school.Even as the elevator carried me down, her call still wasn't over.My heart stopped again after we reached the highway.The driver glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the doctor performing CPR. He jerked the wheel in shock.The nurse shouted at him to keep going and drive faster.Dad later told me the driver sped the entire trip and ran 3 red lights.The moment we reached Riverside Medical Center, they rushed me into a resuscitation room.I lay beneath lights so bright that they hurt my eyes. Someone was shouting orders. Someone else pressed electrode pads against my chest.The defibri
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