[Rosalynd]
It's weird, standing in some strange man's kitchen, trying to remember what he said about tea. Especially when you were too busy watching him walk away…
Good God! I don't know why I'm suddenly all hot and bothered. My heart is still broken over the hurt I received from Hunter's betrayal--I’m not ready to start something new, but here I am, fantasizing about someone I hardly know. Yes, he’s manly in ways I’ve never experienced, animalistic and raw, while still tender and considerate. He’s nothing at all like the little punk boys I dated back home. He is a man with a life, a home, and a son. Wow. That means the boy has a mother somewhere, which means he might still be married.
I’m also not 100% sure he isn’t a serial killer.
Can serial killers also be good fathers?
Shaking my head at my silliness, I take a look around as I wait for the tea to brew.
Axel’s house is simply stunning. Set on a hill overlooking the river, it is made of wood and glass, with exposed beams overhead and hardwood floors covered with cozy, rich carpets. There is a tidy, yet "lived-in" quality to the place, giving a vibe of comfortable luxury. There are built-in shelves along the hallway next to the kitchen. My curiosity guides me to a family portrait. He is standing next to a tall woman with exaggerated curves, a red-lipped smile, and a dress that seems out of place in such a rustic environment. Axel is wearing a plaid shirt, hiking boots, and a huge smile as he holds a tiny bundle in his massive, muscular arms. One thing I notice about the picture is the distance between him and the woman. She looks like an afterthought that was photoshopped into the image.
I wonder if she is Rafael’s mother.
They don’t look very happy together.
“She never did like it here,” a deep voice resonates from behind me. I jump as he places a careful hand on my shoulder. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”
“It’s just that you surprised me.” I gasp. He did scare the crap out of me but I wasn't about to admit it. “I didn’t hear you walk up.”
"I have that way about me," Axel smirks confidently as if he is sure of his place in the world.
"Is that Rafael's mother?" I ask nervously, fearing he might find my question intrusive.
He rubs the back of his neck as if considering how much to share. "Yeah," he confesses. That's Alexa, my mate."
"Mate? As in partner?
He swallows before answering. "Mate. Partner. Wife." He confesses. "Although we were married in the traditional sense, she was also so much more." He pauses, swallowing. "Once."
"Where is she?" I ask quietly. "If that isn't too forward a question to ask?"
"Moved down south, San Francisco I think. I don't keep tabs on her anymore."
"But you have a son..."
"Yes," his voice is a bit harsh. "I have a son. She gave up the right to be his mother; she left without a second glance. He was still a baby, a baby who needed her, but she didn't care. She has never tried to contact him. She handed over full custody when she moved in with my beta..st friend He doesn't even remember her anymore," he trips over his words a bit as if he misspoke. "Sorry, I just.."
"I think I understand, in a way, but I have no idea how much pain you must be in," I admit. "I have never been in a relationship that lasted that long, or at least not one that serious. You have a child together and.."
"And he is the best thing in my life." he interrupts me. "Even knowing what I know now, I'd do it all again to have him in my life."
I turn to face him, wondering what it must feel like to be happy for a mistake that led to a miracle.
His honey-colored eyes are edged with unshed tears. I place an uncertain hand on his cheek and say, "You're a good father."
He smiles at me, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Thank you." Rubbing his face against my hand, almost like a big puppy, I feel the warmth of his breath as he kisses my wrist. "I think I needed to hear that."
The blood rushes up to my face. There is something about his raw appreciation of such a simple gesture that just makes me come apart. Is it possible that he needs a bit of affection as much as I do?
We stand there, eyes locked, for some time, neither one of us wanting to be the first to move, the first to break this moment of intimacy.
Licking my lips I ask, "Does it ever hurt less? The heartbreak?"
His head leans closer to mine as he whispers, "I'll let you know when I know," as he places a gentle kiss on my cheek, near but not quite touching my mouth.
My knees begin to shake. I have always heard the term "weak in the knees" but never understood what it means until that moment. I almost fall back, but he catches me around the waist, hugging me to his chest.
"Careful now," he murmurs into my hair. "I don't know all of what you've been through, but if you need somewhere to be, someone to cry on, I'm here. You can count on me. I'll never betray you or take advantage of you." Wrapping his arms firmly around me he adds. "I can be your friend...if you let me."
And that is when the tears start to fall. Even with Hunter, I never felt like he cared that much about how I was feeling deep inside. As long as we were having fun together, everything worked. But this man who barely knew me is offering me friendship, simple friendship without any strings attached.
Would Hunter have been willing to be "just friends"? Would he have been there for the misery as well as the joy?
Something tells me no.
But Axel, I have a feeling Axel would be. He would take the good along with the bad.
Maybe he has also been waiting for someone to be that person for him.
As I weep, I pull him into a tighter hug and he places gentle kisses on my hair, my eyes, and my cheeks. These were not the kisses of a lover, but kisses of comfort, filling a basic human need for touch.
"Shhhhh. I've got you," he whispers as he rubs my back. "I'm here for you."
At that moment, I felt like I could believe every word he was saying.
"I know we just met," he speaks awkwardly into my hair, not yet meeting my gaze. "but I was wondering...maybe.."
"Maybe?"
"Maybe we could hang out sometime."
"As friends..." my breath catches. I'm not sure, but I think I might want to be much more than that. "What if I don't need any more friends?" I ask.
Smiling into my hair he adds "I'll be anything you need me to be."
[Rosalynd] "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in.." "NOOOOO Dada!" a small voice laughs, followed by the sound of chasing feet around his living room. "I wanna be the wolf this time." I am lying in a small bed in a guest room tucked underneath his stairs. Axel offered it to me as a place to rest while I waited for my car to be repaired. After a quick shower, I soon fell asleep. But now I am awake, wide awake. I lie there for several minutes, not sure if I should interrupt their scene, or wait for it to simmer down before coming out and asking
[Slone] Rosie called me. Her voice sounded light and carefree. So very different from the day before. I didn’t want to tell her my news when I was speaking with her on her trip up north, because I knew how much stress she was experiencing. Which might be why she was standing in front of me, her face tight with shock. “So…” Rosalynd's face barely moves as she grits out the rest of her sentence “You’re telling me now, right now, after I traveled almost 700 miles, risking rain and wolves and serial killers on my way to live with you, after several phone calls where you could have explained your situation, that there is no place for us to stay…at all.”
[Rosalynd] I close my eyes, thinking about all the things I wish I could do with my life. I wish I could be strong and successful on my own. That I can follow where my heart leads me. I need a place to feel safe, loved, and wanted. I need to feel that for myself more than anything. I desire something real, something solid. A family. I send this thought out into the universe. I can feel the warmth of these thoughts wrap around me like a blanket, both comforting and gentle. I take a deep breath, and I feel the heat of a greater force, an energy beyond myself, fill me to the brim with energy and light. At that moment, I know that the universe hears me. I open my eyes. The crystals around me are glimmering with red, green, blue, and golden light, but none are glowing as brightly as the one in my hands, the large piece of uncut rose quartz, which is now warm to the touch, pink glowing from its center, magnified by the facets of the crystal. The warmth of these glowing stones fills m
[Rosalynd]“Rosie! You are magical!!” Slone says slowly, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me with each word as we leave Evander’s house, new keys in hand.“You just want to see magic everywhere,” I assure her. “I’m just me, Rosie Reid. Nothing special here.”“I have been in this forest a THOUSAND times and not once have I found that trail.” She points to the dirt path that leads to Evander’s lush garden.“OK,” I admit, shrugging, “Maybe I’m lucky….”“And,” Slone continues, “You found us a place
[Axel] Conner, my wolf, is pacing anxiously in my head. "When is she going to get here?" "Heel boy," I say quietly to myself, my heart racing. We are both excited to see Rosalynd again. It's crazy, a girl I just met last night is already working her way under my skin. The last time Conner paced like this was the night we marked Alexa. Not that it mattered in the end. She still rejected us, and our son. I can smell her before I see her. I have grown accustomed to her scent, a blend of roses and jasmine, but as I turn to make sure it is her, I notice something has changed about it, or maybe just come into the foreground. Sage. She now has the unmistakable aroma of sage blended with the other two. "Witch." I breathe. "Mate" Conner howls. "No! It can't be. How can a witch be our second-chance mate? The pack would never accept a witch as Luna." "MATE!!" Conner insists. "We must have our mate! I will fight them all to keep her!" As I watch her approach, the wind playing w
[Rosalyn] I’m freezing my ass off standing outside a bar that is not ironically called The Goat that is so popular on a Saturday night that it has a line around the door. Apparently, Karaoke Night is a local favorite. I guess there isn’t a lot to do in a sleepy, country town like this, especially for college kids. There is no shortage of overpriced restaurants that close down before 8 p.m., but real hangouts are scarce. This is nothing like LA. Also nothing like LA, this weather. It is FREEZING. Well, not technically, but 57 degrees feels like winter when I’m used to 80+ degrees at night in summer, especially in late August. Apparently in Arcata, August often means fog and sometimes rain. They blame it on living next to the coast but I call bullshit. LA is near the coast too and it doesn’t fog over in August. Why did I move here again? Oh, yeah. I wrap my little red cloak around my shoulders a little tighter against the chill. I’m wearing a borrowed white velvet minidress fro
[Gideon] Her eyes, her intense sparkling eyes, are the first thing that catches my attention. Edged in red cat-eye frames, they are a startling blue-ringed with silver, not gray, silver. The next thing I notice is her aura, blue and violet ringed in bright silver like her eyes with a touch of warm orange-red: so much power, so much potential, so much untapped passion. What a shame. Because I’m not sure that this girl is worth my time. “You!” her face is turning red. I can tell she’s just as disappointed as I am. I smile. She’s adorable when she’s angry. “Coven Leader,” Slone bows. It's embarrassing watching this talentless girl grovel. How remarkable it is that Slone has a friend with so much power (a friend who is completely clueless about her true nature as a natural-born witch) when she has absolutely no power herself, but all the book knowledge of a proper witch? What an unlikely pair. And to think, based on what Slone expressed via text message, they have known each other fo
[Rosalynd] I pull my cloak around me tightly as I step out into the dark street. Luckily, Slone's place is an easy walk from here, even in this joke of a dress. That man, that Gideon, is infuriating. What an ass! I thought he was arrogant before, but now I'm convinced he is some kind of masochistic narcissist. It's a shame he is the leader of that little group, because those ladies deserve someone kinder and more considerate than he is--someone a little less self-centered. I tried so hard because I knew Slone wanted me to meet her friends but he reminds me so much of my mother, of her friends, and how they thought it was okay to make me feel small. I refuse to let anyone make me feel that low about