Due North

[Rosalynd]

Crying, I run back down the hallway. As I pass Gary, he tries to stop me. Screaming unintelligibly, he grabs my arm roughly, forcing me to listen to his babble, my mind unable to focus on his words.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Rosalynd?" His nails dig into my flesh. "Where the hell is your mother?"

Thinking of exactly where my mother is, I snag my arm out of his grasp and throw the studio keys back at him. "Why don't you go find out for yourself?!" I get up close to him, our faces only inches apart as I yell. "Fuck this place! Fuck this job! I'm done!"

For the first time in the 10 years that I've known him, Gary is silent. Like a fish, his mouth moves up and down as if instead of trying to say something he is gasping for air.

The metal outer door to the studio closes with a loud band and I find myself in the parking lot. It doesn't take me long to find my car, the distinct shade of rusted metal red easy to discern amongst the smooth and shiny rentals and new leases. I wish I could afford to rent or lease a car, but then I'd have to make payments and I can barely afford to dress and feed myself. My car, a 1998 Subaru Outback, might be the ugliest in the lot if not all of LA, but it is mine, it is paid for, and it runs...most of the time.

I'm digging through my fanny pack for the keys to my car when I hear big, large, heavy footsteps racing after me.

"Wait!"

I turn to see a young man wearing all black from his ripped Ramones T-shirt to his large knee-high boots strapped tightly to his calves with about a dozen strappy belts. His height, enhanced by both his platform boots and his spiked blonde hair, towers above me as he stands just above 6ft tall without all of his ornamentation, but seems closer to 7ft tall with all of his extras. His black eyeliner was blurring down his face and his black lipstick was smudged down to his chin.

He probably still had my mother's jizz all over his face. Just another thing I'll never be able to remove from my mind.

"Hey babe," he reaches for me.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" screaming I pick up my pace and practically run to my car. "Did you even wash your face before coming out here?"

He pauses in his tracks. Staring after me he whimpers "I never meant for you to find out this way..."

"You mean at all."

"Well yeah, but babe, you don't understand I..."

"Just stop" I beg, holding up my hand. "You're right, I don't understand." Holding my keys in my hand, I fidget with them to help me ground myself.

"Well, I guess this is...goodbye?"

"You think?" I scoff. "Are you even a little bit sorry?"

He pauses, his gray-green eyes connecting with my own. For a second I think he might feel a little remorse, but then he says "I mean, she’s been my dream girl since I was thirteen and...”

I don't wait to hear the rest. I open my car door and start the engine. It takes all of my strength not to run him over as I veer out of the parking lot into traffic.

I am such an idiot.

I guess I should have seen this one coming. But how can anyone predict when things will go this far south? I mean, my mom should have more self-control. He's young enough to be her son (although, to be honest, that has never stopped her before...). Now, whenever I think about any of the kisses Hunter and I shared, I'm going to wonder if he brushed his teeth first...

Oh God…

As I drive back to the condo I share with my mom, I find my mind searching every encounter between Hunter and me, mystified by what went wrong. I think back to all our awkward conversations, the way he looked at my mom when he came over to my house, all the times he made excuses to leave early, and...

Yeah, I am a damn fool.

When I get to my house I grab my oversized suitcase and pile all of my clothes and shoes I can fit inside. I also grab my backpack and purse and head for the car as fast as I can. I want to make some distance between this hellhole and myself as quickly as possible--before either my mom or Hunter comes looking. I don’t feel safe here anymore. I need some space, some time to get away from all this nonsense.

Sitting in my car, I scroll until I find the name of the person I miss the most in the world, my best friend Slone. Pressing “dial” I place the phone on speaker and head north.

After a few rings, I hear an excited "ROSEBUD!”

“Hi, Slone.” I stammered, glad that she couldn't see my tear-streaked face.

“You sound depressed, what’s up?” Even through the phone, she sounded sunny while also sympathetic.

“Nothing much, I just quit my job. And my boyfriend. I quit him too”

"What!!" She screams into the phone, almost deafening me.

“And, I was hoping I might be able to stay with you for a bit…”

“Are you kidding?!!" her exuberance is almost contagious. Almost. "Yes! Of course, you can stay here!"

I smile at the phone, even though I know she cannot see me. But then I start to cry again as I turn onto the freeway headed north.

“Oh Rosebud, what happened?”

I spent the next two hours telling her the whole story.

I am so glad I have such a good friend.

We grew up together, but she left me to go to college up in Humboldt County in the middle of the redwood forest. She has invited me to stay with her so many times, and practically begged me to transfer all of my college units up here and stay with her forever, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my mom behind.

Until today.

“Don’t worry, Rosebud, we’ll get you hooked up with a hot lumberjack in no time!”

I start to laugh, my mood lifting. I miss her so much.

And as SoCal disappears in my rearview mirror, I realize I won’t miss LA at all.