I look at my phone for the hundredth time today. I've been staring and checking on my phone for the past hour while I lounge at our porch. It's a cold December day and the days seem to be gloomy like what I have been feeling for the past days. I tuck my blonde hair that fell from my messy bun. My blue eyes are wide with exasperation. It's past noon and I haven't heard from Devon, it has been three days since I have talked to him. I woke up after a night of partying and he was no longer by my side, he just left so abruptly without saying a word. It was not like him, he has always been so sensitive when it comes to simple things like that. I'm afraid that Hannah's death has sparked something in him that could jeopardize our new relationship status. It's not like I have not been sad after Hannah died but I'm feeling something that I know I should not be even thinking about. It's a feeling so ugly it eats me up every time I saw a hint of sadness in Devon's eyes when we are together. Aft
I got to Devon's house and I hurriedly parked in his driveway. I went to the door and found the door ajar. I push it and heard voices, Devon's voice, it's as if he was talking to someone. the house was a mess, whisky and beer bottles were scattered on the table, but what caught my eyes were the pill bottles sprawled at the table I went near it and picked it up they were Diazepam. My heart was racing, I felt the cold air sweep through me. "Devon?!" I shouted. Suddenly, he stopped talking I went around and saw him in his backyard by the pool holding a bottle of beer. He was sitting at the lounge chair looking like a mess. "Hey, baby..." I cautiously said as I approach him. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes and dark circles underneath. "Oh my God, Devon what happened to you I sat beside him. He looked alarmed, I held his face and said "What's the matter? What's wrong? Please talk to me..." His stare was blank and I shook him "Devon! Hey! snap out of it!" He looked at
I couldn't remember how I was able to get home. All I know is I'm at the garage and I can still feel the dread in my bones. The letter is still on top of the passenger seat, I couldn't get myself to read it let alone look at it. Even in her death, Hannah is still a bitch. How could she do this to me? I had been a good friend to her, it was just that I fell in love. I know it's wrong but Devon and I, we had a connection, I wanted to talk to her and let her understand but she never let me.As much as I hate her sometimes, Hannah has been my best friend for so long. I can still remember freshman year, she was all alone at the cafeteria, she looked so cool, she dresses well and she was gorgeous but she was always aloof with other people. That day Clint my boyfriend and captain of the football team was being so mean to me, he suddenly lashed out at me just because I was babbling about how he never had time for me anymore."Fuck off Cassie!" Clint said as he slams the
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I hurriedly got out of bed and went to the vanity mirror. I caressed my face and put on a smile. This is perfect, needs a bit of work but hey, I'm back and that's all that matters. Poor Cassidy, she's gone and now I'm here. I am her.I went straight to the bathroom and opened the faucet to fill the tub with water and went for Cassidy's collection of bath bombs. Amber, my favorite scent. I hesitated for a bit, the last time I was in a tub I ended my life and it's but fitting that the moment I come back I start my day in the bathtub again. Touche'. I hum as I lather my body with the bubbles and leaned back. Ahhh... this is perfect. I never knew it would work and I'm happy it did. In a snap, I'm the captain of the cheerleading squad, the overachiever, the good daughter plus a hot boyfriend to display. I smile. "Devon...hahaha, I told you you're mine, now it's official, nobody can tear us apart anymore." In my mind I have
I got to school and immediately in the hallway my cheerleading posse come to meet me Karen, Danica, Mallory, and Kelly came to me blabbing about all those worthless girl shit, but I had to suck it up and go with the flow."Think like Cassidy," I told myself as I try my very best to pay attention to their snoozefest stories while my eyes scour the crowd for Devon, after we were done with nonsensical talks, We proceeded to walk the halls as we went near the lockers, my eyes locked immediately with Devon's."He's looking extra today, I bet you two had a great weekend.", teased Karen the redhead."Ooooh Cassie for sure had a few tricks up her sleeves especially now that everyone's caught up with Hannah's death and that includes Devon," said Mallory, the slow one. To which she continued to chew her gum and play with her hair while Danica nudged her with an elbow."Ouch! What was that for?" said Mallory. Kelly rolled her eyes at her and said "
After the emotionally charged afternoon with Cassidy, I never felt closer to her than today. It was as if something has changed in her, I felt a deep connection with her than I have ever had. Cassidy was always like a best friend to me, she is a great listener, caring, and open unlike Hannah that to her death has kept so many secrets from me, not that I can blame her. With Hannah, though I have felt forever in her, but I walked out on her because it was too much for me. We were too close too soon. We don't need words but the deep, profound feelings I felt for her are always there. Somehow, today, it seemed like what I felt with Cassidy has transcended to something much more. My feelings for both her and Hannah combined, that's what I felt in my heart right now. We are walking down the hall towards the parking lot, holding hands and I felt like I needed to clear the air with her as to what happened the last night. "Hey Cass, I'm so sorry about last night, I must admit, Hannah
I've been staying in the mansion for a few days now, as much as I want to go back to my tiny flat in New York. I can't. I have been reading Hannah's letter over and over and I can't seem to get over my guilt. "Do you remember that day Matthew?" her words kept echoing in my mind over and over as I recall that horrid day. I kept on looking for signs of what had happened to Hannah. I just remember after that day she was not feeling well for a week. Nana Rose said she had been sick and she can't play with me because she didn't want me to be sick too. Mom would say I should focus on my homework than bother Hannah. I never thought more about it because I was just a kid too, I thought it was nothing and now, every day knowing what I know now, it kept eating me up inside. I kept thinking to myself what I could have done more. My thoughts were interrupted by Nana Rose knocking on my door. "Dear, you should get something to eat..." I looked up tenderly to her and said "Thanks Na
I sat down feeling shaken by my confrontation with Matthew. Hands shaking I poured myself a new drink. I know I fucked up but I cannot let Hannah win, the moment she came into my life everything went down in flames. I was so in love with Garret, I never knew that he will become my downfall. I thought he will be my saving grace out of my unhappy marriage and bring my family to a better life. Then Hannah happened. I thought for a moment carrying his child would mean the turn of my luck, yes my luck did turn but for the worse. I remember that night we were at The Rembrandt, we were dining in our suite and as we were just talking while drinking wine, I gently hugged him from behind where he was seated and showed him the pregnancy test and whispered "Surprise darling..." I felt him stiffen to my touch and I knew right then and there it was the end. He stood up and faced me. "Lucy, I can't do this." Tears brimming in my eyes, "Garrett please, I thought you said you love me a
I left our house and I felt more powerful than ever. It felt amazing being able to confront my mother. The look on her face was precious. I could do this over and over again and I still feel that it is not enough and will never be enough for all the things she put me through. Now that I have Matthew at my side I know I will be able to carry out my plans and I could all put this behind me and I can focus on Devon and me.A text message notification pinged on my phone, or rather Cassie's phone "Baby, where are you? I've been worried sick about you," it read. Devon, I thought to myself how easy was it to manipulate everyone. When I was alive everything seemed hard, all the struggles, all the weaknesses I have, who knew being dead was all worth it? I'm still discovering my abilities but right now I just feel so fucking awesome. In a snap, I have it all. Everything that was missing in my life is mine. "Hey baby, sorry I was not feeling so well today, I'll drop by your house