01 // Strangers

I've always wondered what it was like living life outside religion and family, having the freedom to just be.

It was the same story every day, being told what to wear, how to sit, how to speak... it was only a matter of time before they dictated when to breathe.

I was in a room full of people, and yet my heart and spirit were not there. It was time for praise and worship, the congregation at large was praying as if competing with the piano man; and I just stood there, not knowing what to say because my dreams were out of reach. We are told to pray to God and speak what is in our hearts, but in the eye of the church, what I wanted was against our belief.

What was so bad about wanting to be my own person, to want to see the world and meet different people? What was so wrong about wanting to breathe different air away from this place?

My phone vibrated in my purse, and I looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to me, but they were all praying.

'Meet me outside.'

Came the message from my best friend, Esra. I quickly put my phone back in my purse and picked up my water bottle, and then walked out of the church with my head bowed.

It felt like an eternity to get to the door since I always sat at the front, at least I was seated at the end of the row today, so I didn't have to bother anyone when I wanted to leave from my chair.

My mother would lose her mind when she opened her eyes and found that I was gone, but I didn't care, I would deal with the consequences later.

Esra's MINI Convertible was parked in front of the gate, I hopped in, and she drove off without further delay.

The moment I saw the church disappear behind us, I could finally breathe. I sighed and pulled off the headscarf.

“I can give you some clothes if you want to get out of that hideous outfit too,” Esra jabbed and laughed when I glared at her. “So, where are we going?”

“I don’t know, just take me as far from here as possible,” I said.

A wide grin spread on her face, and she gave me a quick glance, excitement written all over her face. “There’s a new lodge that is opening today, their hotel is so nice and their menu sounds interesting, they even have a special.”

“As long as you are paying, I don’t mind.”

She snorted. “Don’t I always?” I smiled. “Finally! A smile. Was starting to think that maybe you missed church.”

I laughed. “Never! You know that better than anyone.”

Esra was the only true friend I had, she knew my hopes and dreams and encouraged me to pursue them every single day.

Sometimes I envied her, she had the freedom to do whatever she wanted, she was educated and financially independent, she had her own house and an apartment in town. Esra had about three cars, but the convertible was her favourite. She dressed the way she liked, did whatever she wanted with her hair, just recently it was red, and today it was purple.

She dedicated her nights and weekends to the club, she liked to go out and party. And then there was me…

Sometimes I wonder how we are friends, we were complete opposites. While Esra liked crowds and loud vibes, I preferred having my own space, silence and solitude. I dedicated my life to painting and singing, and I hoped to go to art school.

I wanted to get away from home and find myself, but it wasn’t that easy.

“So, Yvonne, what was the pastor preaching about today? Abstinence?” She laughed.

I groaned and sunk into my seat. “Esra, I think it would be better if neither of us spoke about church for the rest of the drive.”

“Deal. But not before getting you out of those church clothes.” She said.

Did I mention that she does not mind spending? You’d swear her family owned a bank or something.

We started off at the mall, and we got me new outfits, and then I went to the ladies room to change.

"Your mom would freak out if she saw you wearing jeans."

Esra really enjoyed making fun of me, especially when it came to my mother. My family was so religious, and my mother was obsessed with maintaining the family name and our reputation, her children had to be righteous to the brink.

You'd think that it would work, but my siblings were unruly, my older sister was pregnant out of wedlock, and they only found out three months ago when her water broke, nobody knew that she was pregnant. My younger brother partied till he dropped, he always comes home in the morning.

I was always an obedient child, I think my parents got too used to it to the point that they began to take advantage of it.

You'd be really surprised if I listed all the plans they had for me at age 22.

"How do you keep that mop of hair under that headscarf?" Esra asked while brushing my hair in front of the mirror, I'd just relaxed it a week ago and it sat right above my shoulders.

"Can we leave already? I'm starving! Remember, I didn't have anything before church," I said with a tired sigh.

"It's better not to eat before church, so that you can connect better with the holy spirit. He will fill you up!" We looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

Gosh! One of these days, Esra was going to get me killed by my mother. She sounded exactly like her.

I bent over and picked the shopping bags with my old clothes and new clothes, and then we left the bathroom and mall altogether.

"How did you even find this resort anyway?" I asked once we were in the car.

She scoffed. "Ever heard of the internet?" I rolled my eyes at her. "Just kidding, it's on my way home," she said.

I turned to her in surprise, she had never mentioned where her house was, nor had I been there before, I'd only ever been to her apartment. “I didn’t know you were back at the house.” I pointed accusingly, and she grimaced.

“Well, uhm… the apartment is being renovated.”

I narrowed my eyes at her but did not say a word. We arrived at the resort and it was surprisingly packed even though it was still early.

“Esra, are you sure we can’t go elsewhere? I mean, this place is packed, we won’t get in on time. I will collapse from hunger if we spend another hour just standing around.” I stood on my toes to look at the reception area where the queue started.

Esra got out of the car and grabbed our bags. “Come on, let’s go.” I got out of the car and followed her, and she led us towards the reception area. I felt like dying from all the stares we were getting, but she did not seem to care, she was used to all the attention. “Good day, reservation for Esra Yildiz,” she said as soon as we arrived at the reception.

I stared at her in shock. Reservation? How long did she have this planned?

The receptionist smiled at us. “Miss Yildiz, your room is ready, they will escort you in a bit,” he said.

“Thank you. And please have someone park my car.” Esra placed her car keys on the desk and took the card the receptionist gave her.

“Will do. Enjoy your stay.”

Esra gave a firm nod and turned to me. “Come.” She nodded towards the entrance.

I stared at her, dumbfounded. What just happened?

I followed her inside, and we passed the spacious food court before someone came and took us to our room. I was still captivated by the beauty and calmness of this place, I didn’t pay attention to anything else all the way. This place was beautiful, from the lush garden, to the long forest trees, the park, the nature resort, and the restaurant. Everything was perfect.

“Okay, is our future pastor suddenly mute?” Esra asked while putting our stuff in the closet.

I was looking around the hotel room, completely mesmerised by how fancy and neat everything was. The room was all white, from the bed covers to the closets, the dining table and couches. The only thing that gave this place a different vibe was the glass doors that led to the pool area, the view was amazing. This place was exactly what I needed.

“Can we go and eat now?” I asked. I swear, hunger made me grumpy.

“Oh, yeah… the food is on the way!” I looked at her, and she winked at me.

Our food arrived, and all I can say is, I have never had much meat in all my life as I did today. We finished eating, and Esra suggested that we go and sit in the pool area.

I changed into a long summer dress that reached my ankles and tied my hair back and put on the summer hat I kept in the car.

When I arrived at the pool area, Esra was busy preparing cocktails. “So much alcohol!” I reprimanded as she poured excessive liquor.

She scoffed, taking a sip of the beverage. “What do you thinks makes those cosmos you like, horse pee?” I sat on the bench, and she handed me my drink. “You can thank me later,” she commented when I moaned in approval.

We sat there and enjoyed our drinks in silence, and three glasses later, we were both bubbly and chatty, Esra even revealed that a friend of hers works here and that he helped her with the reservation.

“Hey, I thought I was your only friend!”

She chuckled. “You are my only girlfriend, you know most of my friends are guys. Besides, Cas is more like family.”

“Cas?” I repeated, eyeing her suspiciously. One thing about Esra was that she was very secretive and mysterious, I didn’t know much about her family, she never spoke about them. To think we have been friends for three years now, you’d think that I would have ditched her a long time ago, but she was a great friend.

“How is it going with the university applications?” She asked, changing the topic.

I let out a long breath and laid back on my bench, staring up at the blue skies. My parents did not want me to go to school, they wanted me to be married to some guy and become a housewife. I secretly applied for school without anyone’s knowledge except for Esra, and soon enough I would vanish into thin air. I got accepted in all the places I applied, but I needed time and space to think and make my choice. Honestly, I wanted to go as far away from home as possible.

“You can stay with me until you decide what you want to do.”

I turned to her with a wary but grateful smile. “Sometimes I feel like you are snooping in my mind,” I said, letting out a deep breath. I was so scared and anxious.

“I know it’s scary, this is the first time you are taking a stand for your future. But you don’t have to worry, I’m with you all the way.”

“Thank you, Esra. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Guess this was it then, this was my opportunity to do right by me. My phone rang probably for the thousandth time today, and I turned it off.

My parents haven’t seen anything yet, they were going crazy because I disappeared for a few hours, wait until they figure out that I won’t be home the entire week, not to mention that I am going to school.

I was so exhausted! To think that I would have had to cook after church, Esra really saved my life for the millionth time since we met.

My entire body was aching. I was totally going to spoil this day for her, this was supposed to be our time together, especially since she had work, so basically, even though I would be staying at her place, I wouldn’t see much of her.

She was also complaining, saying she wished she could take a leave from work. “Sometimes I hate my job,” she whined.

“At least you have a job,” I shot back, taking a sip of my drink. I lost count of how many drinks we had, the vodka had kicked in from the first glass, my eyes were burning. “Girl, I’m so tired, I need to lay down for a bit.” I placed my unfinished drink on the side and stood up, my hands instantly reaching for the bench, I felt lightheaded.

Esra laughed at me. “Do you need a hand?”

I glared at her, and she continued to laugh, pouring herself another drink. I got up and walked to the room without any problems, and then I hit the shower before taking a nap. My eyes were so heavy, I literally passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

That was by far the best sleep I had in a long time, and even after sleeping for a few hours, I was more exhausted when I woke up.

"Finally! You are awake. I was starting to think maybe the Cosmo cocktail killed you."

I looked at Esra through one eye. "Girl, I'm tired!" I whined.

She sighed, sitting on the couch with her knee up. "I know, but sleep is not going to help you." Her mean girl attitude was nowhere in sight, she sounded really worried. "Yvonne, you slave yourself for your family, your mother doesn't even lift a finger when you are around. Your entire body is exhausted, your mind is exhausted, your soul is exhausted!"

I gave her a weak smile, fighting to keep my eyes open. "I love you too," I said in a sleepy voice.

"Okay, that's it!" I didn't see when she got up from the chair, just saw her in front of me as she pulled me out of bed and dragged me out of the room.

"Esra, where are you taking me?" I whined.

"You'll see." We passed many rooms until we arrived in front of these huge double doors, and Esra pushed the door and pulled me inside. And the moment I saw the people there, I was wide awake. "Gladys, where's Cas?" Esra asked one of the ladies.

There were people dressed in white, it looked like a Thai spa.

"He'll be back in a minute!" The lady said. "Can I help?"

"Yeah." Esra pushed me forward. "Please take care of my girl here."

The woman did not waste another second, she called one of her friends and they dragged me away from Esra. I looked over my shoulder, casting her a pleading eye, but she just waved me off.

The lady, Gladys, shoved me into a room and gave me a robe. "Change into this," she said before closing the curtain.

Like I have any other choice! I thought. I changed into the white robe, remaining in my underwear, and stepped out of the room, and they led me to this comfy-looking bench. I laid down and they started applying oils on my body.

"The massage therapist will be with you in a second," Gladys said before she left.

I was laying on my stomach, so I couldn't really move or see much. I closed my eyes and just relaxed, and after what felt like forever, I felt a presence next to me, and before I could react, I felt strong arms on my shoulders, and they sent fireworks all over my body.

Neither of us were expecting that, and I could feel the tension radiating from his hands. I was tempted to look up or turn around, but couldn't bring myself to it. He released a soft sigh and then started massaging my shoulders, causing me to let of a soft moan.

Gosh, this man's hands were bloody good! I loved and hated Esra for putting me in this position, but I was also feeling much better. It felt like he was really working magic, things got a little too much when he moved his hands down a bit.

"Stop," I breathed, and his hands froze at the worst place possible, right beside my boobs. "Esra... Esra!" I heard running footsteps, and Esra was in front of me in seconds, and I didn't hear the man leave.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked in a worried tone.

"Get me out of here," I said in a hushed tone.

"Yvonne–"

"Now, Esra." I did not pay attention to anyone nor did I pay attention to where I was walking, I just saw myself in our room.

My heart was beating so fast, and it felt like I was suffocating from all the thoughts in my head. I paced up and down, and Esra sat on the bed and watched me, a worried look on her face.

I halted my pacing and got a glass of water, and then sat down on the couch and closed my eyes with one last deep breath.

"Wanna tell me what's going on now?" Esra asked after some time. I opened my eyes and found her still sitting in the same position. "I mean, one moment you were enjoying the massage, and the next, you went hysterical."

I cringed at her later statement, when she put it like that, it sounded bad. "I was enjoying the massage," I admitted.

"Then what happened?"

"I was enjoying it." I gulped and looked away, feeling my cheeks burning up. "Just a little too much."

A short silence followed, and then Esra gasped in shock. "You naughty girl!" I covered my face and groaned, feeling embarrassed to the core. The couch lowered as Esra plopped next to me. "I knew the guy was good, but to leave your virgin ass frustrated and confused... That's new."

Esra was only making it worse, I felt like crying. "I need some fresh air." I got up and changed into the clothes I was wearing before I went to sleep, and then walked around the resort, just enjoying how beautiful this place really was.

One thing I enjoyed the most on a daily were sunrises and sunsets, but I didn't get to enjoy them at home, we were obstructed by the tall buildings in the city, as well as the uneven land in our community and the cluster houses.

This was the first time in my life I was witnessing a sunset, from the moment the sky started changing colours, to the moment the big red ball stood proudly above those mountains, until it disappeared, leaving an orange sky in its left, until eventually, the clouds turned black and then it was dark.

I barely kept track of the time, Esra was probably freaking out wherever she was. I was far from the house, and it was getting chilly, but my feet refused to move. As if the beauty the sunrise evoked was not enough, the city lights made the night even more beautiful, especially since I got a clear view of the entire city from where I stood.

"What are you doing out here alone? It's late," came a deep voice from behind.

The resort had lights stationed at different spots throughout the entire area, they made it easier to navigate around at night, but they were still not enough for me to make out faces in the dark, especially since this guy was wearing a hoodie.

"It's not illegal now, is it?" I asked, and he laughed, standing next to me.

He was so tall, I literally reached below his shoulder. "Well, no. But there could be dangerous animals."

I rolled my eyes. "Their animals are just for show, and they are locked up."

"Or there could be vampires," he blurted out.

I opened my mouth, but words failed me. "Well, I don't have an answer for that one," I said.

He chuckled, his deep laugh making my heart skip a beat.

My phone beeped in my pocket, and I took it out and found a message from Esra, since I'd switched out my sim card, she was the only person who had this number.

'Since you are still gallivanting around, we'll stay the night and then we'll leave early in the morning. I'll be going to work a bit later tomorrow.'

Another message followed: 'Oh! And don't wait up for me, I'm going out.'

I wasn't surprised when another message popped up, Esra had a bad habit of not saying everything in one message, she always sent multiple messages at once.

'Get something to eat when you come back.'

'Ciao! I love you.'

I smiled and sent back a reply. "Don't stay out too late. I love you too."

I put the phone back in my pocket and was surprised to find the guy still there.

"You look like you are getting cold. Here, take this." He took off his sweater and handed it to me.

I stared at him wide-eyed. "No, that won't be nece- necessary. " I sighed as he placed the jersey over my shoulder against my will. "Great," I muttered under my breath but wore the jersey anyway.

"Come on, let's walk you back to your room." He started walking before I could say a word.

So bossy! I thought. He reminded me so much of Esra, she always wanted to be in control.

I hastened my steps to catch up with him, and we walked side by side. I caught a glimpse of his face from the side and I couldn't understand how someone could be so perfect even in the dark.