Mirror

*JAMIRA*

When I arrived at work, I promptly headed to the Principal’s office to inform the administrators about my news, as per protocol. Mr. Greene congratulated me, and the rest of the office staff echoed the sentiment.

He also suggested that the committee organize a party to celebrate my pregnancy, which essentially meant I would be hosting my own party. However, I don’t have the time for that.

I arrived at class, and Malaysia was teaching the kids geography. They appeared genuinely interested in learning about various places and eagerly colored their worksheets.

I genuinely appreciated her efforts. She exceeded my expectations. Working with her was always enjoyable and filled with memorable moments.

By the end of the day, the kids were assigned projects, and they had a very productive day. The class was dismissed when I felt a gentle hand grab mine. I looked down to see Kayla. She was always so sweet and reserved. I cherished having her as a student because she quickly grasped concepts and asked questions, eliminating any doubts about her understanding.

“Hey Kayla,” I greeted her.

“Hey Ms. Hines, I really missed you,” she replied.

As if that wasn’t heartwarming enough, she handed me a picture she had drawn of us holding hands. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

“Aww, thank you, sweetheart,” I said, embracing her.

Just then, her mother approached. She reached down and hugged her tightly, as if it had been a long time since they had last hugged. It was truly endearing. I couldn’t help but imagine that I would be in a similar situation one day.

“Hey, I know you were at the house the other day, and I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in joining us for dinner sometime?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I wasn’t really supposed to be there,” I replied.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” she encouraged.

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

Just then, Kayla chimed in with the cutest smile and voice I had ever heard. “Please,” she pleaded, her hands pressed together.

“I guess I can’t say no to that now, can I?”

With my response, they both smiled and walked away. I sighed, realizing that I had to stop agreeing to things without thinking.

I turned and headed to get my things. As I left, I had a few thoughts and a significant decision to make. Nothing about this was easy, but it was all necessary. I returned to Ayana’s house to seek her opinion, but she wasn’t there, so I settled in to watch one of my shows when her mom came down and joined me.

Initially, there was silence, but she broke it by making an observation, as she often does.

“You seem tense.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You’ve been staring at the TV like you’re about to lunge at it for the past ten minutes.”

“Yeah, well, I suppose I do have a lot on my mind.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“Not really, but I could use a second opinion.”

I shared all the things troubling me, and she nodded occasionally, indicating that she was still listening. She listened attentively to everything I had said and patiently waited for me to finish without interrupting. When I was done, she looked at me for a moment, as if she was carefully choosing her words.

“If this guy is worth your time and energy, then he deserves a chance to prove himself.”

“I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

She looked me up and down. It was as if she realized that what she wanted to say might have been too harsh, so she tried to soften it.

“Look at yourself and consider your current situation. If being ready was a priority, you wouldn’t be… well,

I nodded. I understood exactly what she meant. She was saying that if I had genuinely focused on myself, as I claimed to want to do, which wasn’t for anyone else, I wouldn’t be on my best friend’s couch with my belongings at my ex’s house, and pregnant by a man I still don’t know well but is good enough for casual sex but not for a serious relationship.

It was a heavy realization because, just like her daughter, she was profound, and her words carried significant weight. She was right. I knew what I had to do.

“You mean sitting here trying to clean up a mess I could have avoided altogether by keeping my legs closed?”

“Exactly, but you live and you learn.”

With that, she gently squeezed my knee and got up from the couch to go into the kitchen and start cooking.

I sat there, absorbing her words as if they were tangible. I had to sort this out.