ВойтиA security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.
Узнайте больше"Well, at least I did better than you at school. I beat your SAT score by three points!""That's only because you got bonus points for special categories…"The chat and I complained in unison.[Fake tough guys: corporate backstabbing and stock market manipulation.[Real tough guys: arguing like kids and throwing verbal tantrums.]-Miles eventually got tired of arguing and, out of nowhere, somehow summoned a few snakes, scaring Dexter into retreat.I sat on the couch with my arms folded, waiting.When Miles came back inside and shut the door behind him, I said evenly, "Don't forget to have Roger send the black snake over."Miles's soul visibly left his body.He launched himself at me like a wronged child. The six-foot-two grown man curled up in my arms."Babe, I'm already so upset after dealing with my love rival, and you won't even comfort me? Do you not love me anymore?"[Geez. He's way too good at this.][This is…too sweet… I need an insulin shot! Help!][Bye, guys. I'
[Wait. Why is Miles boiling water? He's not making some weird Viagra tea, is he?]In the end, all Miles did was add in some chamomile, peppermint, and ginger to make an herbal tea. He brought the drink over and set it in front of me."Don't be upset. It's normal for your period to come early. We've got plenty of time. Maybe the universe just wants our first time to happen at a better moment…"Right then, the chat erupted with shameless laughter.[So he only got a preview and didn't even make it to the main show!][Unluckiest male lead in history. I almost want to gift him a period-speed-up pack.]Day one after getting back together, and we slept next to each other without doing anything.No surprise, nothing happened in the next six days, either.Good grief.Was this karma for declaring that I never wanted a man when I was a kid?-The days passed quietly.After work, whenever I had nothing to do, I teased Miles."I used to have a little black snake, but it ran off. Have y
"Public nudity would get you arrested," Orson snapped."Bah, you're just jealous," Jeffrey bit back."I'm just well-versed in the law.""Then I'd go make videos and bless the internet.""That'll get you arrested, too."Their whispers only grew louder. Miles must've heard every single word.As soon as the kiss ended, I watched Miles, whose face was redder than an overripe tomato, flee in embarrassment.The chat absolutely lost its mind.[What is wrong with this author? I was eating and just sprayed food everywhere!][Author, please show mercy. Your male lead looks like he just mentally flatlined.][This has to be the world's first male lead who would die by embarrassment!][Public nudity? These cousins are on another level.]Right now, I understood exactly what Miles felt. As my cousins were sprinting away, laughing so hard that they could barely stand, I genuinely wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole.-Miles and I got back together.On day one, he moved in
Thanks to my freakishly good hearing, I caught Miles muttering to himself when he doubled back to the corner."I knew the black suit was too boring. And I even matched outfits with my love rival. I'm gonna fire Roger for this."Come to think of it, Orson was wearing a black custom suit today.I put my car keys down and kept listening to Miles complain."Good thing I came up with Plan B. This purple one pops way more. I'm definitely going to crush those three little punks and win Olivia back."Then, Miles suddenly started singing to himself. "Purple rain, purple rain, I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain…"He sang off-key and shamelessly as he walked straight into my line of sight.[Oh, wow! Miles is here!][How does he make something this loud look classy?][He's so handsome I can't breathe!]Miles clearly hadn't expected me to be standing there.Our eyes met. In that instant, everything he meant to say vanished.He froze, then blurted out, "Babe, I bought


















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