Chapter 8

Ilana felt unreal, an entity weaved with threads of hopelessness and regret as she walked through the halls of the twentieth floor.

She wasn't sure where she was going but she knew she was supposed to meet Calix Meyer. Make him aware of her presence.

Her secret was out and now it was time to exploit it.

And she would do it without complaints because Helene had said it was important. 

She had repeated the interaction in her head so many times, the words had stopped making sense. Like whatever happened wasn't real. Just like Ilana herself was not real anymore.

It was important. Calix was important to the plan, the mission. He was just a means to an end. Nothing more. Helene had said it was important.

Ilana didn't have to pretend when she slammed into someone. At least that had been real.

“I'm sorry. I wasn't looking,” she said, keeping her eyes on the ground as she bent down to pick up the papers that had fallen loose from the folder in her hands.

She didn't want Calix to see her yet. She was sure he'd sense the deception.

Someone scoffed. “I'm so done with all these bimbos tripping over themselves just to get your attention, Calix.”

The words made Ilana snap out of her train of thought, clearing the haze that had surrounded her senses since last night.

“Shut up, Daniel,” Another voice said and Ilana recognized it immediately.

She gritted her teeth and looked up.

She could feel Calix's eyes on her but she ignored his gaze, allowing him a few more minutes of freedom before she spun her tale of lies.

“Excuse me?” She said, glaring at Daniel. “It's not my fault you walk with your eyes shut.”

“What…” Daniel began but Calix cut him off.

“It's you,” he said and Ilana finally turned to him. She let her eyes widen and a look of regret crossed her face. The regret felt real.

“Oh, god, this is…” she began, panic filling her eyes as she looked from Calix to Daniel. “This isn’t how this was supposed to go. I’ll leave now.”

“How about you don't?” His voice called and Ilana bit the inside of her cheek. She turned around slowly, glancing at Calix apprehensively.

“You both know each other?” Daniel asked, his eyes darting from her to Calix.

“Daniel, please excuse us,” Calix said and Ilana wanted to laugh at the offended look on his face.

He quietly stalked away.

“How about we talk in my office?” Calix turned to her and she saw the questions in his eyes.

“Are you sure about that?”

He raised an eyebrow in response and Ilana was struck all over again with how much he looked like his father.

“Okay,” she whispered, noticing his unrelenting gaze piercing into her skull.

He held the door open for her and she stepped inside. Her heart jumped when he closed the door and the walls turned opaque.

“This is…” she paused, searching for an appropriate word.

“Cool?” He provided.

“I was going to say extra but cool works too,” she shrugged, doing her best to avoid his eyes.

Not because of the act but because she couldn't look at him. Couldn't stare into the warmth of those brown eyes and not get lost in her own guilt.

His office was almost as huge as Adam’s, with almost the same layout and same furniture. The wall behind his desk was all glass, providing a view of the world outside.

 “Mr. Meyer, I…” she began and he immediately made a sound in the back of his throat, cutting her off.

“Don't call me that, please. Calix is fine.”

“Oh, you must really hate it here, then,” she said, a smile forming on her face.

She both hated and loved how naturally the smile came to her.

He laughed but it was nothing like the laugh she'd heard that night at the bar. It sounded fake.

“I searched for you, Mirage.”

Ilana stilled, finally glancing up at him. She wasn't sure what surprised her more. The fact that he searched for her or the way he was looking at her with such intensity, she felt her heart jump.

“I searched for you too,” she admitted in a whisper.

“And you found me, didn't you?” 

She nodded her head in response.

“So, you just didn't want to see me?” he asked, lips quirked up in a half smile.

She bit the inside of her cheek, letting her eyes take in his sharp jawline, the specks of golden in his brown eyes and the way his hair curled just so, falling onto his forehead.

“That’s not why I did it. It would have just been… awkward. You are my boss and…” she drifted off, letting her words fade into nothingness.

“And?” he asked. The half smile was still there on his face as he walked towards her.

He perched himself on the edge of his desk in front of her so that his leg bumped against hers.

“Well,” she shrugged. Now that she’d looked at him, she found herself unable to look away. “It would have been awkward.”

“You’ve already said that, Mirage. What I want to know is why you think it would be awkward?” he whispered, leaning forward slightly, trapping her.

“Because,” she whispered back, unsure of what would be the appropriate thing to say. 

“Because?”

“Because this is inappropriate,” she said but didn’t make any effort to push him away.

“I didn’t take you as a stickler for the rules,” he replied, a challenge glinting in his eyes.

She bit down on her lower lip and watched with concealed glee as his gaze drifted down, a dark look filling his usually warm eyes.

She stood up slowly and he pulled back, sitting straight now. She walked towards him and tugged on his collar softly before hooking her arms behind his neck. He inhaled sharply.

“Oh, I'm not. But there’s a certain fun in leaving them wanting for more,” she whispered, blowing a breath over the shell of his ear.

She'd already decided that he would never fall for the naive newbie act she was putting on for the rest of the office because he'd already seen the other side of her. So, she'd skipped the act altogether.

With Calix, she was Ilana. At least as much of Ilana that was left. 

His arm snaked around her waist and he tugged her forward so that she was now standing between his legs.

“Then I’ll let you have your fun,” he said, his thumb tracing the outline of her lower lip. “And see how long it takes before you end up right back here.”

She smiled. “You sound confident that I’ll be back.”

He hummed his agreement.

“I do because I'm not the only one who’s wanting this.”

Her fingers brushed against his knuckles as she turned around and walked out the office.