Chapter 2
Is it Love or Hate?
Few days later....
She was attending her last lecture of the day.
She tries to concentrate on what the teacher is saying but she can't.
She always seats in the first row, as it helps her not letting her mind anywhere else. But today this method also was not working for her.
Her mind was again and again going on that mysterious man.
She was sure that she has seen him anywhere else before but she can't remember where. She can't even remember the time.
And for her the main issue is that these are already the last week of the semester and she don't even see him again after that day. She always tries to look for him whenever she had a chance to look around outside her class. She also waits for him on the main gate just like first time, but he was nowhere to be seen.
After this week there will be final exams of the semester and all will be busy.
"Uhh! I can't even share this with anyone." She groans inwardly and put her head down on her copy and closes her eyes. Her heart was restless.
Again, his image appeared in her mind. She tried to let it go but she fails, again.
"My child! Are you alright?"
The voice of her teacher sounds above her head and that pulls her back into her present scenario.
"Yes! Yes Sir! I'm alright." She said stuttering and thus embarrassed herself in front of whole class.
"Dear I know this is the season of summer, your B.P must be low."
Teacher closes his book and that's how she knows that lecture has already ended and the *C.R (Class Representative - also known as class monitor) is taking the attendance.
"And you kids do not even do your breakfasts before coming to university". Teacher continues with sympathy.
"This is bound to happen then."
"And you, my child!" He pointed to Rabeel who was seating beside Ansha.
She was seating leisurely but after the sudden attention she hurriedly sit straight.
"Take your friend to canteen after the class and give her something like **ORS."
"Yes Sir! You don't have to worry. I'll take care of her". Rabeel replied with suppressing her laugh.
Ansha looked at her with her cheeks full of red shade.
With that attendance were taken and they finally leave the class.
" Let's go to the canteen and you take some ORS there." Rabeel teased her finally letting out her laugh which she was suppressing for so long.
"It's not funny". Ansha replied with her cheeks still of red shade.
"So, who said to you to give us this last piece of entertainment?".
"I don't do it on purpose. It's just......"
"What? Say more." Rabeel said with her one eyebrow raised.
"You think I didn't notice you? For the past few days, you are the most frustrated person on this earth for me."
"You're just restless Ansha! Tell me what's the problem. What it is you hiding from me?" Rabeel questioned her.
"Oh, it's nothing of too much importance. As you know exams are approaching and I'm just anxious about it. It's our first semester and want to perform well in it." She lied to her best friend.
"It's OK if it's only the exam's tension. But don't stress out yourself."
"Yes, you don't have to worry about me." She said with a smile.
"OK so let's go to the Girls' Common Room. I want to freshen up before going outside in this heat."
"You go ahead. I'll just drop these assignments in teacher's office and will join you there."
Rabeel agreed and move forward whereas Ansha just take a right turn and go to the office.
Ansha take her time there as she was getting the next instructions of her teacher.
When she was just about to go into main corridor from office's, she saw someone passing through the corridor. She stops right there. Her mystery man was right in front of her.
He also cast a glance in her direction and after seeing her, he also pauses for a moment. Then, he just continues to move forward.
Again, this all just happened in less than 2 minutes.
She just gets out there in main corridor just to see him two steps ahead of her. She noticed that he deliberately slowed his pace.
She walked right past him.
In the way she meets Rabeel and their other friends. She informs her that they all are planning to go nearby restaurant. She agreed to them.
They all passed through the building entry gate and just stand with the garden fence. They discussed that they should wait here for some time as there is time in restaurant to open.
She was conscious of the fact that he was just right behind her. But did he also come outside or just remain in the building.
Ansha seated herself on the garden stairs so that she can see towards the entry gate.
And there he was. Seating on entry gate stairs with his friends. She tries to remember his friend's face.
She moves her face away from them towards her friends as she thinks he was about to look in her direction.
She was again in her own thoughts. Strangely her heart was calm but there is this feeling.
The feeling that she can't describe. It’s like it is saying to her that if she will not do anything, she will lost too much.
She came to her senses again when she saw him going towards canteen with his friends. He once again looks at her and then just move forward as if nothing happened.
That feeling, that sharp pain just intensified.
The day passed.
And there is again this sleepless and restless night.
She wants to sort out her feelings. She does not want to consider this love or even likeness. There is just mysterious kind of attraction towards him.
Many times, she tried to avoid it as she does not have any prior experience of these love kind of feelings.
Soon there will be her 18th birthday. She does not want to be in any useless relationship.
Her idea of dating was always of high standard. Date for marriage or just stay away. She was clear in her objective. But choosing someone without his knowledge for marriage, this was already contradictory to her belief. Also, she does not have her feelings sorted out.
She doesn’t want to go so far, so early.
First of all. She has to know, who is he?
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B.P - Blood Pressure
*CR - Class Representative/ Class Monitor
There is also a term GR (Girls' Representative).
CR is usually a boy where in class there are boys in majority. And GR will be like Vice CR.
**ORS - It is an edible product. It's powder like substance. Mixed with water to drink to treat dehydration.
Days passed and her preparation period was over. Today was her first exam. Second year and first year exams are scheduled to be on same day but 2nd year students' exams were in morning. Whereas First year Exams were in afternoon but they all were in university from morning as usual. Her eyes were finding him since she steps into premises of her department. Her speculations were if he is in first year like her, he will definitely appear at exam time but if he is in 2nd year, she will saw him coming after the paper. But if he is of 3rd or 4th (last) year, there is 95% possibility he will not come if he does not have any 1st or 2nd year improve exams.
Present Time... She was going through her Snapchat memories. Those photos were from the last day of her first semester. Her selfies, pictures with whole class, the happy moments of her group friends and with Rabeel. Seeing her selfies with her, the clips of her happy memories flow through her mind but end at the sad note. What she did to her leaves a thorn in her heart forever. At times she thinks, why she did all this to her. But she already knows all the answers. She put down her mobile and let her back rest on the sofa. She already has so much issues in her life to sort out. She does not have time for the past. As she thinks that her past has only added to her miseries. She has to survive in her present. Her 22nd birthday is coming up soon but before that she had to get a job. The reminder tone of her mobile reminds her that her interview is in 2 hours. She had to get ready. S
The acceptance call from the company which came in the morning was enough for her happy to the moon and back mood. She has to join on the day after tomorrow. She called Nisha and set her plans for the day. First, they will do shopping then Ansha would treat her in her favorite restaurant. After that she message another person. “Got selected! I’ll be joining the day after tomorrow so I’ll be super busy. Meet me at our usual place tomorrow for dinner?” “As your wish sweetheart!” He replied. She smiled at his expected message. Later that day in Shopping mall…. They were leisurely walking with their hands full of their shopping. Ansha was humming a song. “Well, well, well your excitement for this job is already over the moon and you haven’t started it yet. I think you will not
Again, the night was restless today too for her. She was tossing and turning on her bed. Tears were just uncontrollably flowing out of her eyes, despite of all her attempts to not to cry. After sending the files through e-mail on time she was just like this. She thinks of sleeping but that seems impossible to herself. In the end she just sits up and holding her knees, she gave in to all her sorrows. She cries harder, holding herself tighter. He just appears again. When she was finally ready to move on. Despite of her hate for him, her love is always more. And from her love for him, the broken pieces of her heart are even more. With her cries getting intense, she was shaking badly. As always, there was no one to hold
Back to Past… This was the fourth day of her 2nd semester. This time she was more hopeful for their ambiguous relation. Her heart was even more attracted to him. On her first day she only saw a glimpse of him. Later, she was unable to find him. Later that day, Ansha and her friends were going to photocopy shop to purchase their lab handouts. They have to pass through a corridor in which there were classes of senior year students. There she saw him. He was standing there with his friend. He also looked at her. When she came closer, he whispered to his friend and pointed towards her with his eyes. She noticed it all but ignored it. She can only feel happiness in her heart as she was afraid to show it. On her way back from the shop, she was more than happy. She had to go back from the same corridor, she saw that he had en
PRESENT TIME… A week had passed. And every day was same. Starts with load of works and sometimes with some mental torture. And ends with the announcement of tomorrow’s workload. She was already feeling tired of her dream job. At first, she wants to continue her job no matter what as she loves her work but everything is falling apart here for her. Every day her hopelessness is only increasing. Now, she was hesitating. Her boss and colleagues were welcoming and friendly to her but suddenly her boss is clearly showing his dislike for her and all her colleagues are keeping their selves at a distance from her. This is too much for her. Only Maira came for her help whenever she gets a chance. Many times, she would be chased away by boss or his assistant but she always comes back. Finding a friend in her in this chaos is a blessing to her. She was deliberately ignoring the fact of involvement of Ahmer in her misery bu
At Night… Ahmer was watching her today’s recordings on loop on his laptop. The screen was showing her video of sitting with her head in her knees, holding herself together. She was in pain. She had been wronged. She was tired of all this. But she never looks up. The screen shows Maira coming for her. She doesn’t even say a word of complain to her. She can let her frustration out. But she didn’t. Now, the screen was showing her reaction after seeing her gift in worst state. She got hurt after seeing the tie. Tears were evident in her eyes when she was holding it in her hand. She suddenly got up and get out of the door. He waits for her. She has to come to him. She will definitely ask him about the things happening to
At Weekend… The empty boxes of pizza and other fast food with bottles of drinks were scattered on the table and Nisha can be seen sitting on one of the chairs around the dining table holding her head with both of her hands. Ansha was sitting beside her with her hand on Nisha’s back, trying to comfort her and let her digest the news, with a face full of unexpected grievance mix with confusion and expected reaction of Nisha. “Nisha! 10 minutes are already passed. When are you going to lift up your head? Just say something.” “SOMETHING!” Nisha replied, never lifting her head up for even once. “Are you serious?” “So, what did you want me to say?” She was sulking but this time she lifts up her head.” “Scold me please.” Ansha said to her with her eyes facing south. “By which right?” “Only you have this right.” “Then you should have come at once to me. On the ver