5 Date

Sarah

The whole day was crazy after Nate showed up. Focusing on work was a new challenge I’d never had before. 

He’s been gone for hours now, but I still flush when I think about how he smiled at me. How many times have I dreamed about him smiling at me like that? I can’t even count. 

My mind is full of questions, though. Why is he here? How is it possible that he looks even better? Are we really going to meet today? What am I going to say to him? 

Hi, you look sexier than ever. … Hey, long time no see… Hi, I’m Sarah, remember me?... Yeah, like any of that would lead to something good… It’s been like ten years since I last saw him, and I almost forgot how it feels to look into his deep blue eyes. With a flick of his smile, my well-built confidence disappeared just to transport my body back to that shy 14-year-old girl’s mind and heart. The memory of the last time I saw him floods my brain:

While packing my bags to leave my home to study in a boarding school, I look out the window to see Nate running into the woods, still in human form. I put down everything and run after him as quickly as I can. I know his usual route, which path he runs back, so I head in the opposite direction to catch him later. I sit down behind two bushes and wait for him to show up. A small clearing is in front of me with a fount, where he always stops for a drink. 

I hear his wolf running before I see it. The ground shakes as he thunders closer. I strain my eyes, searching through the trees until I finally see him. His silver-white fur looks like it shines when the sun’s rays reach it through the canopy of the trees above. 

I overheard some girls talking about him the other day. His wolf’s name is Dante. He looks like he jumps in joy as he does a slalom, running and weaving around the trees. I can’t stop myself from smiling at the sight and find myself whispering his name, ‘Dante.’ He suddenly stops and starts smelling around, curiosity shown in his eyes. He looks directly at me, and I slide down to the ground even more. 

His big blue wolf eyes look sad when he doesn’t find what he is looking for. He smells the air again and runs away.

My colleague walks in, tearing me from my last memory of Nate. 

There, in the woods, he was so different. And I liked to imagine that we were running and jumping together. I mean, we could if I had a wolf. But I didn’t. 

And I still don’t. So that is it. I left Black River the next week without him knowing I existed and loved him. 

It was a strange feeling seeing him again. I’ve never seen him so up close as today. And I, indeed, have never received that cocky smile from him. Was it even cocky now? 

I remember how he smiled at girls with such confidence and mischief, but this was different. Today he was sweet and kind. Was this really an accident that we ran into each other? Do they want to take me back? Why would they want to take me back? 

There is no logical reason for that after all of these years. I should stop daydreaming and focus on this email I’m writing. I look down, my fingers are spread over the keyboard, unmoving. They’ve been like this for minutes as my mind has wandered. 

I must work. That is why I'm here. 

He said they had a meeting, so maybe it was just an accident. They were dressed like they were here on business. Oh man, I’ve never seen him in a suit. This was a treat, for sure. The way that jacket hugged his shoulders. 

AAArggg. Working... remember? 

Can I trust him? I haven’t seen him since I left the pack when I was 14. Left? More like they kicked me out because I wasn't good enough to be a pack member. 

Even though he is taller, bigger, and even more muscular than he was, his eyes are the same, although maybe wiser a bit. Oh gosh. It took me years to get over him and start looking at other guys. And now he is back in the forefront of my mind. 

He was with Gabriel. I assume his brother is Alpha now. How old must he be? Around 30? This is crazy. And Lissa… I bet she had no idea who I was; they didn’t seem to recognize me. 

I hope she isn’t coming today. Nate didn’t say it would only be him and me, but he didn’t say Gabriel and Lissa were coming too. I hope they aren’t. 

Was I stupid for agreeing? But if they came to deal with pack business, why did he want to catch up so much? Maybe I should call my mum and ask. But I never ask about pack stuff. They’ll know something must have happened. Do I want to tell them that Nate is here and I’m meeting him after work? Probably not a good idea. 

“Bye, Sarah, have a great evening,” I hear Amber. She looks at me like she knows something. I bet she heard about Nate. I received so many questions from everyone during lunch, especially after Catherine told them that he didn’t plan on staying in town at all. 

“Bye, Amber,” I reply when Brittany shows up. 

“Are you ready to leave?” 

“Yes, I’ll grab my coat.” How has this day gone so fast? I feel like I couldn’t finish any work today. Not even this one email. I’ve tried to focus, but my conversation with Nate just kept repeating itself in my head. I even typed some of it in a letter accidentally. 

Then possible scenarios for our date flashed through my mind. There were no free brain cells left in my head that I could use for work. 

“I can’t wait to see that man you’re meeting. Everyone is drooling about him. I’d be surprised if there weren’t a gathering at the door.” 

“What? Nooo, no, no, no.” A chill runs down my spine once again. “That just can’t happen. It is already too embarrassing.” 

“I’ll keep the crowd inside; I promise if you introduce me later,” she says with a mischievous smile. 

“No, none of that is going to happen. I’ll leave through another door, and we can forget about it.” 

“There is no way I’ll let you do that. Was that your plan?” she asks, and I nod. It wasn’t my plan until now. But I’m in panic mode and need a way to escape this situation. 

My hands tingle as I step from right to left, looking for an escape. He is not my boyfriend to parade him around or anything like that. 

“Well, that is a shitty plan,” Brit adds.

I don’t say anything; I have no idea what to do or say. Shaking my hands out, I’m taking calming breaths. I want to see Nate and know what this is about, but I’m scared of what I’ll find out if I meet him. 

“Look at me, Sarah.” Brittany is trying to catch my sight. “Do you want to see him?” 

“I don’t know,” I say with a desperate shaky voice. 

“Ohh oh.” She has just realized that this is serious, and I can’t meet him in front of our colleagues. “Who is he?” 

“Someone I grew up with,” I reply quickly, hiding some of the truth. I feel like I’m about to cry. Why did I agree to meet outside of the building? I should have told him to meet me at a restaurant or something. 

“Ok, calm down.” She says while hugging me. “I have an idea. You leave by the back door. You go to the pub opposite the street. Take a shot of tequila. Calm down a bit. Get your courage back and decide if you want to meet him or not. I’ll send everyone home and talk to him. You’ll text me if you want to meet him. Then I’ll take him to the burger bar a few streets down. Or you text me to tell him to fuck off.” She hugs me again. “You’re shaking, honey. What’s wrong? Are you scared of him?” 

“No,” I reply. “I’ve never talked to him growing up. I’m surprised he knows who I am and actually recognizes me.” 

“Ok, then, go get that drink. I’ll text you when I talked to him. And I’ll proceed as per your reply.” 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I need a drink. Thanks, Babe.” I smile back at her and take a turn to the back door. 

“Wait. What’s his name? I don’t want to get the wrong guy.” She laughs as she steps back. 

“Nate Blackwood,” I shiver as I say it out loud. Can I actually do this? Talk to him like a normal human being? Have a coffee with him like two people who haven’t seen each other in a while? 

My knees buckle with the realization that I will sit at a table with him. What will I say when I can’t seem to say his name without shaking? 

Brittany clasps my shoulders. “You’ve got this. He can’t be that sexy,” she raises her eyebrow at me. 

I only shriek as a reply, and she bites her lower lip to keep her laughter silent. “Oh my … I can’t wait to see him now,” are her last words before she leaves me alone with my crazy thoughts. 

When I walk into the pub, Bobby instantly sees something wrong. By the time I sit down at the bar, he has a bottle of tequila in his hand and pouring it for me. “Hi Sarah, you look like you need one,” he says, and I just nod at him and drink it up. 

He’s been working here for a while, and we often come here after work. “Hi,” I try to smile at him. 

He is a cool guy. We have left the bar together a few times but never moved on to anything more serious. “Are you okay?” his forehead creases with concern. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Someone from my past showed up today, and I don’t know how to feel about it,” I bury my face in my palms. 

“Uhh that bad? Is he an ex-boyfriend or something?” 

“No, not at all. We just grew up in the same place,” my voice is muffled by my palms. I look at him again when I hear the tiny glass filling up. "Thanks." 

He nods his head, and I drink up again. “Is that the place where you learned to drink like that?” He asks curiously. 

“No.” I laugh. I can’t stop laughing. I went from shaking to crazy laughing. My emotions are everywhere. I really needed this drink. I hope it can calm my nerves. 

My phone buzzes in my bag, so I get it. 

BRIT: I found him; he says he’ll meet you anywhere, at any time. 

Geez, he really wants to meet. 

Bobby wants to pour another shot, but I stop him. “No, thanks, that is enough; I have to be able to walk properly,” I say with a smile. 

ME: Is he alone? 

I type with shaky hands. I don’t want to chat with Lissa if I can help it. 

BRIT: Yes 

BRIT: He looks like he genuinely just wants to see you and talk to you. 

BRIT: Should I take him to the burger bar? 

ME: No, bring him to the pub, pls 

BRIT: OK 

“Give me a beer and a pear cider, please. I’ll sit down outside to meet someone. And make a long island for Brit, please; I’m sure she’ll be here in a minute.” I say to Bobby and reach for my purse. 

He hands me the bottles; I give him the money and get up to find a place in the garden. I drink an awful lot here because I know how much I have to pay without asking. 

I'm itchy with anticipation when I turn towards the door. Brit steps in with Nate in tow. His eyes land on me, and I let out a shaky breath when his lopsided smile adorns his face. 

Am I dreaming? My brain can’t seem to process the possibility of this situation being real. 

Commanding the muscles in my legs to hold my shaky knees in place is something I haven’t done in a long time. 

He walks closer, and I sneeze and sneeze again. 

Really? Could my body betray me even more?