6 Not coffee

Sarah

The way he strides toward me shakes my whole world. The last shred of denial that it’s happening breaks when his smile creates a dimple on his left cheek, making butterflies flood my stomach. 

He is here. 

Here to meet me. 

To smile just at me. 

Even if the world exploded around us, I wouldn’t notice. My brain slows his movements like slow motion in a movie as he bypasses Britt to stand on the other side of the chair where I left my jacket and bag. My mouth has gone dry, and I can’t seem to form words, standing there stupidly with a bottle in each hand. 

“Hi, Sarah,” he says, and the gravity of his cheeky gaze slices straight through me, shutting up my thoughts. 

“Here’s a beer.” I croak out awkwardly, handing the bottle. 

“Thanks, I thought we were having coffee,” he says casually, with that cocky grin still present. It looks like he successfully woke up from the shock he seemed to have in the law firm when we talked. 

“Oh yeah, I hate coffee, but you can get one.” I motion to the bar. 

“No, it’s better.” He smiles, and we stare at each other for a second. Or a few seconds because Britt’s throat clearing is the only thing that helps me tear my eyes from him. 

Her eyes widen in surprise while she mouths, ‘WTF?’ 

Yeah, I get it; I don’t react to guys like this. I don’t know what’s going on. 

I shake my head to free myself from his spell. “Let’s go sit outside. The bar has a nice garden.” I say, picking up my jacket and turning around on shaky legs without waiting for his answer. The heavy material of my blouse restraints my skin from breathing; a drop of sweat rolls down my back, tickling me. 

I get to the door first, pulling it open, Nate's hand coming over my shoulder to hold it for me to walk through. He stands so close, his opened jacket brushes my arm. I make the mistake of looking up. I mean to thank him, but my parted lips freeze when our eyes lock again. His eyes are smiling in amusement, definitely noticing his effect on me. 

My heart pumps out of my chest with embarrassment when I realize he must hear my heartbeat with his werewolf hearing and try to snap out of it. 

We haven’t even reached a table, and I already feel this might be a mistake. I can only hope the cold air chills my face because it burns with mortification. 

I sit at a table. Nate moves to sit next to me but changes his mind at the last moment and grabs the chair opposite me. 

“So…?” I ask, then scold myself for opening my mouth when I have nothing to say. 

I never imagined that we would sit at a table emitting casual chatting. I mean, I daydreamed of seeing him again, but none of those dreams contained us actually talking. I can’t act like when I was 14. I’m a grown-ass woman who is capable of more than staring… Urggg 

Realizing that I might not be able to do more, I avert my gaze focusing on drinking my beer. 

“So…” he replies. “How did your presentation go?” he surprises me with his question. 

I still can’t wrap my head around what’s going on. Before the panic and anger can reach my tongue and I come off as a bitch again, I shake it off. “It was a bit difficult to focus, but I managed without any huge mistakes.” 

“What was it about?” he asks, pulling the glass to his lips. 

After a few gulps, he puts it down, licking his lips. My tongue darts out, copying his movement. A shiver runs down my spine, and I have to shake myself again. This is not going well. 

What was his question? Oh yeah, the presentation. "I’m a trainer. We have a new filing system, and I’m teaching everyone at the company how to use it properly. I’ve been doing this presentation for weeks now.” I answer, not sure why he was even interested. 

He nods his head, not asking anything else. It seems like he is deep in his thoughts, too. 

“Did you sign the contract? Everything went as you planned?” I ask finally, proud of myself for making conversation. 

“Yes. We are building a new academy. It is for kids from 14 to 21. We plan to accept students from any pack and even packless wolves.” 

“That sounds amazing," I reply with interest and lower my voice for my next question. "So, Gabriel is Alpha now?” 

“Yes, he has been the mayor for ten years now.” He winks when he says mayor, and I swear the warmth from my cheeks just traveled to my lower abdomen, making me flush somewhere I can’t cover with make-up. I’m in deep, deep shit. “He worked with our father for five years after college. I joined in for the last three, and then Gabriel stepped up and chose me as his Second in command.” 

“Oh, that sounds great,” I answer, surprise evident in my voice. Usually, the Beta’s son takes the Beta position. “Do you like it? Being the second-in-command? I’d wink back at you, but I’ve never learned to do that.” 

His smile turns to a full-blown laugh at my words, his eyes squinting, cheeks puffing. I don’t remember ever seeing him laugh. Smile, smirk, grin, sure, all the time. But actually, enjoying himself and having fun, laughing wholeheartedly? I don’t think I have. 

Maybe when he was in wolf form, alone in the forest, but it’s hard to tell when his face is hidden in his wolf’s body. 

“Wait,” he asks between laughs. “You really can’t wink?” 

“I mean, I’ve never really tried. I don’t need that technique to get a guy’s attention.” And at that moment, he stops laughing. His face turns serious, and a low rumble reverberates from his chest. 

I haven’t heard an inner wolf growl for ten years, but damn. A fire roars up my insides and runs through my veins to settle in my stomach. My breath stuck in my throat at the intensity of it. “Shit,” I breathe out. “You can’t do that here.” I roll my eyes at him, trying to cover up his effect on me. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. It was not intentional,” he says, looking around briefly, and I use this moment to compose myself. I shuffle a bit on my seat, changing my feet as they cross one another. 

“So, how are things at home?” I ask, trying to change the subject. “Is Lissa Gabriel’s Luna or your mate?” Nice, Sarah, really nice. Could I be more unequivocal? Why do I even want to know? I shouldn’t. Who cares about his mate? I don’t. I’m not part of his pack. Why did I ask that? I’m such an idiot. Urggg. 

While I vent inside my head, I almost miss the way the left tip of his lips inclines slightly, indicating a smile that does not appear. I catch myself wanting to know his thoughts, the reason for his almost smile. 

“No, she is the pack’s lawyer, hence she came. Gabriel’s Luna came from another pack. And I’m still alone,” he replies, and my hand stops mid-air with the bottle a few inches from my parted lips. 

Nate smiles at my reaction as I swallow the lump in my throat with my drink. He turned 19 ten years ago. He should’ve found his mate by now. 

Before I could voice that, he jumped in with another question. “So, I don’t remember why you left? And when exactly?” 

He scrapes the paper on his bottle as I deliberate my reply. His gaze jumps up to me, and I see hurt in it for a moment. 

“I was offered a scholarship to a boarding school when I was 14. I moved to a family and spent the summer accumulating into the human world.” Even though it is old, the memory cuts up a wound I thought healed years ago. 

The fact that I have to explain this means he hadn’t even noticed that I was gone. Which I suspected because he hadn’t noticed that I was there, so … 

While I spent many nights staring at the ceiling, thinking about him. The question is, why does he want to know now? 

“It wasn’t safe for me to live amongst werewolves as a human,” I whisper, finishing my thoughts as I fix my face and voice to be as unemotional as possible. 

I’m happy and have a great life, but being kicked out of your home and never allowed to visit was painful. Still is. 

“Was the family who took you in nice?” the concern in his voice surprises me again. “Yes, they are fine. They have a daughter. We are very close.” 

He only nods, and me being me, I question everything. The momentary silence makes my head race with questions. Where is he going with this? Why now? 

“Was that high school so special? I mean, all pack members go to human high school. You could’ve gone there and been fine," he replies with a scrunched-up face and hurt in his eyes. 

"I didn't choose to attend that school," I reply, frustrated. "My parents insisted it was a unique opportunity, and I had to go. It took me some time to understand, but eventually, I realized they were sending me away because I'm a human. I didn't have a say in the matter." 

I don’t know why I am mad at him right now. It’s not his fault I’m a human, or they sent me away. He probably didn't know about it. 

I gulp down the rest of my beer, hoping it will reduce the boiling inside me. 

Nate observes me like I’m a deranged animal before continuing to ask about my high school years and where I went after that. I have often wondered about my life and what led me to where I am now. As a low-class werewolf, I doubt that I would’ve lived here. Even college would have been out of the question. Who knows where I'd be as a werewolf? 

We talk about schools for a while. I knew he and Gabriel went to an all-boys military high school. His brother studied politics and governance while he had military studies planned for him by his father, so I’m surprised to hear that he changed his college major after a year and has a business degree. 

Bobby brought us fresh bottles twice. Maybe Brit wanted to check on us to see if everything was ok. 

When I last saw Nate, he had just returned after the first year of college. He changed a lot in that year. But he still had that boyish face. Now, though, he is a man. A very sexy, intimidating man. These ten years have changed him a lot. Not to mention how much I have changed. 

"So, you've never been back?" He's been putting off asking it, and my heart breaks again, knowing he has to ask. He should know. He should've recognized that I was missing. 

"No. In the first few years, I asked my mums if I should visit them for the summer, but they got scared and said I shouldn't. I missed them. I understand that I was only their adopted daughter, but I don't remember my biological parents. Black River was the only home I knew." There goes my unemotional approach. I feel a lump forming in my throat, making me uncomfortable. 

He senses my sadness but still presses further. "Did they say you must leave because you don't have a wolf?" 

"Not really, but I never asked. It was already too painful that they didn't want to see me. So, I just assumed." 

I stretch the muscles in my body and take a deep breath, steadying my heart and swallowing my emotions. "They found me wandering in the woods when I was six, so back then, they had no idea if I was a werewolf. First, they assumed that I was a rogue and alone after my parents got killed or something like that. But I turned 12 and then 13 without a wolf, so we figured it would not happen. I am still human. No wolf in my head." I smile at him, reassuring him that I am not a rogue or any threat to the pack. 

He looks curious. "It must have been hard. It is a huge change to move from our town to a human one." 

That's what he thinks was hard? Geez, he is as spoiled as I thought he was. 

This starts to feel like an interrogation. I wipe my sweaty palms on my skirt. How could I shut down this conversation quickly? 

"It was bizarre at first. The family who took me in are humans, but the mother has some werewolf blood. She understood my situation and helped me adapt to the human world. By the time school started in September, I was completely adjusted. Not to mention that I had a fresh start. No one knew anything about me. I had a chance to become someone I wanted to become. So, it was nice," I shrug, pretending it was that easy. Obviously, it wasn't. But I'm ready to lie and move on since I realized this is not a romantic date, and he represents The Black River Pack looking for information on my life. At least, I hope that is the easiest way out of it. 

"You seem to like it. Being human." His smile eases me briefly before I'm sure his next question will flip me again. This rollercoaster of a date is not what I expected. 

"Oh yeah. Much easier. No wolf drama, no hierarchy to live by. No one tells me what to do or not do. I hated how people talked to me because they were of higher rank. That life is not for me. Every person deserves the same respect." He smiles at my unfaltering approach to pack life. "What?" I ask. 

"I agree. That's it." He puts down his empty bottle to reach for a full one on the table. 

"Yeah, right. Growing up as the Alpha's son, you had the same experience as me." I say sarcastically and continue because I don't know when to shut up. "You relished in the fame, as I remember." 

His face falls, and I instantly regret my bitchy attitude. Looking away, he slumps back in his chair. I don't understand why he seems like my opinion matters to him. What does this whole thing mean? 

"That is not entirely true," he replies with furrowed eyebrows. "Obviously, everyone treated me as the Alpha's son, which has its advantages but could be suffocating. I had rigorous parents who reminded me daily that my brother would be Alpha, and I had to behave as per that. My father was not happy when Gabriel went against tradition and chose me as his Beta instead of the former Beta's son, Mark," he explains, and although none of what he said shows he isn't entitled or privileged, I kind of feel for him. 

"Ugh, that Mark guy was horrible. I hated him so much." I jump on the slightly different topic. 

The memories gush out from a part of my brain that I thought I had sealed closed years ago. 

"He was aggressive. They never had a good relationship with Gabriel," he explains, and I'm happy that an asshole like him isn't in charge of anyone. 

"He always acted like he wanted to become the Alpha. What's happened to him?" 

"He left the pack when Gabriel told him he would never be his Beta. We haven't heard from him since." 

Brittany interrupts our conversation by poking her face through the door. "We have to go, or we'll be late," she says. 

I look at my phone. "Oh shit, yes, I have to go. Sorry. It was nice seeing you." I say, standing up. 

"Yes, it was great seeing you too. Do you want to have dinner tomorrow?" he asks without missing a beat. 

I look up at him with my eyebrows pulled together as I try to figure out his endgame. Hadn't he asked enough questions? What else is there to discuss? Maybe Gabriel asked him to find out if I had told anyone about the pack and werewolves. 

I decide it is easier to settle things quickly. I'd rather not have them show up at work again. "Dinner sounds great. I'll give you my phone number to discuss where and when tomorrow." 

"Perfect," he replies with a beaming smile. 

The only perfect thing is your face with that smile on it. I almost sigh contentedly. But then I remember how bad this situation is, and a part of my soul dies again. 

He puts my number in his phone while we return to the bar. I walk to Bobby and reach for my purse to pay for the drinks. 

"Oh, no, I got it." Nate cuts in, but he is late. I had already handed the money to Bobby. 

"It's ok." I need to keep a hem of my dignity here. 

"Ok, tomorrow is on me," he says. 

Brit loops her arm through mine to pull me out the door, and I wave goodbye as we leave. My heart is heavy with emotions, and my brain is whirling with questions. I hope some work-out can help me deduct the pent-up tension in me. 

I look back and see him standing there, watching us through the windows, till a wall blocks him. I grab Brit's hand to ground myself as I'm breathing heavily.