Lady of Sorrow

Arabella sat quietly in the darkened bedroom. She listened to her home as it settled down for the night. The creaks and groans, old beloved friends. Here she was born so long ago. Here where her parents died. She could almost hear her mother calling to her to come to dinner or bath time before bed. A light touch on her cheek reminded her that her parents were not far away. Here was her solace, her peace and her magic.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deep the crisp mountain air that flowed through her window. Pine mixed with sage tickled her senses. Her ears picked up Thorn as he went out the dog door for his nightly hunting and greeting of the pack. He was the Alpha male even though he did not spend all of his time with them. He had elders to feed, youngsters to teach, his mate to hunt with him. Crickets became silent as the big wolf passed by then picked up their night time song. The rustle of the breeze through the trees, a relaxing sound, seemed to sway with the full moon. In the distance she could hear the pack as they welcomed Thorn home.

Arabella stood beside her bed, breathed deep and let her mind go blank. An image of Lucian’s room slowly appeared in her mind. The portal opened and she stepped through.

Arabella had been here enough times to know when he should be sleeping, gone or awake.

Lucian caught her twice when she stepped through and she was grateful that he slept now. Arabella stepped up to the side of the bed and watched Lucian sleep. She had done this so many times before. This time, she was here with a mission. She needed to find out why Lucian kept saying he didn’t know her She did not catch the smell of alcohol as she had every other time she was here. Arabella had to be careful not to wake the sleeping man.

Light snores buzzed around Lucian’s head. Arabella followed the tired lines of his face, a face she remembered so well, only older, more defined. There were scars, barely visible, along his hair line. She wanted to reach out and touch them, wondering where they came from. Lucian stirred a little, then settled down again. Arabella held her breath. He did not awaken. She waited until the snores started again.

His hair was the same, silky dark color with a few touches of gray. Arabella wanted to smooth down his wayward curly hair but dared not touch him. In his sleep he had relaxed into the boy she once knew, or thought she knew. She finally let her anger slip away. What a waste to carry that burden for so many years. Now she just felt the deep sadness that dogged her all of her life. It hurt. It hurt so much that Arabella almost cried out. She took deep breaths to calm her soul.

Here lay the man, who, in his youth, almost destroyed her before she even had a chance to live. The only man she had ever loved. She watched him for a while, letting the memories come. Arabella no longer wanted to hurt Lucian the way he hurt her. She wanted to know how he could have forgotten her. Tonight, Sorrow was her name.

She would slip into his dreams and bring him a gift, the gift of memory. Arabella gently laid a finger tip on Lucian’s head, careful not to wake him. Closing her eyes, she let her mind go blank and entered into his dreams. She felt a moment of guilt for it was one of her rules, not to play with another’s mind. It was not really playing, she told herself. It was like with her young patients, a helping hand.

Arabella jumped back from the bed, her finger remained in the air. Shock reverberated through out her body. This was impossible. No where in his mind could she find a trace of her and their life together. She encountered an area that was blocked off, so tight that even her talents could not break through. He told the truth. He really didn’t know her. She traced the scars on his head with her eyes. Suddenly, Lucian rolled over, facing her. Arabella jumped back so fast that she almost knocked over a water glass that sat on a table beside the bed. She turned and was gone before Lucian woke.

Thorn was waiting for her to return, laying at the foot of her bed. She suddenly appeared and staggered into the room. He cocked his head sideways as he felt the waves of confusion from Arabella. Something happened to her while she gone, something bad. He could sense no physical pain. Her inner pain had always been a part of the human he loved. Tonight, it was stronger than it had ever been and he wondered at it.

Arabella threw her arms around the big black wolf and sobbed for a long while. When she was done, she felt the tight bonds that had held her most of her life let go. She was free at last, but not the way she thought it would be. The goddess warned her that she might not like what she found. Lucian never came for her because something happened, something so traumatic that he had forgotten her.

Arabella rose and paced the room trying to come up with a reason for Lucian’s blank memory. She started to believe that it had something to do with the scars that adored his head. Adrian must of had a hand in it. She never forgot what a horrible man he was. Telling her that Lucian had gone abroad to continue his studies. Lucian rarely talked about Adrian but the few times he did it never a good thing.

There was one thing left that she could do for Lucian, give him back his memories. She was not sure she could do it but she had to try. Too many years passed, Arabella knew the possibility that his feelings for her were gone. She mused about how Fate could play with a persons life. Not that she expected any answers from Fate, she was so fickled, more so then the other gods. She should visit Fate and see if she would give her an inkling about what happen twelve years ago. Arabella tested the air before twisting it. Stepping through, she entered the tunnel that led to Fate. It would be a little tricky, but she had to do something, something for Lucian, something for herself.

Arabella returned to her room many hours later. She was angry with Fate. The god refused to help Arabella or intervene with Lucian on Arabella’s behalf. It was always trying almost to exhaustion when one came before any of the Gods. The minor ones were less exhausting, they were also less help. There was nothing for it, Arabella would go before the Mother. She shuddered at the thought. It was risky to ask her for help. One never knew what price, if any, they would have to pay.

“By the Gods, Thorn, I need to find out what is going on with Lucian.” Arabella talked to the wolf as she lay her head on his back.

Thorn turned his head and looked at her, his thoughts his own. His humans anger somehow seemed less. He never knew her to be without it. Thorn could feel Arabella’s agitation.

Arabella sighed and lifted her head. All she could do was ask the Mother for help. “You don’t know unless you try, hmm boy? Let’s go get dinner in town. I’m sure there is something open, even at this late at night.” She got no arguments out of Thorn, he beat her out the door.

Arabella was not ready yet to face any more Gods. There were things she needed to try before she took that route.