5: Wayfaring stranger

I was on my own, wallowing in an intensifying misery. If only I was bulletproofed and void of any emotions, I would be good. But I wasn’t. I had feelings. I was no Hawaiian porcelain doll or a robot, but then there are some robots that have feelings.

Doing one thing over and over was making me sick and mentally dying of boredom. I failed to attend lectures because the last time I went to school, there was a shrine at the entrance of the faculty for Bilen Araya and it got me upset seeing the colorful hearts people drew for my brother, knowing it was all fake love.

A knock at the main door caught my attention and I wondered who chose to disturb my peace this hot afternoon. Leaving what I was doing, I left my room and sauntered to the door. I did not bother to check who was at the other side.

I swung the door open with annoyance and I was immediately taken aback when I saw who stood there with a police badge. 

"Miss Araya?" Monty stared at me in disbelief like he was surprised to see me.

My inner creature growled at the mere sight of him. He was the one that introduced me to a new routine that seemed to get outdated the more I tried it. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Hold up, are you Bilen Araya's sister?" Monty questioned, taking off his glasses. He looked different from the previous night I saw him doing coke at the bathroom and he definitely resembled nothing like the guy that taught me how to reach the max of pain.

I nodded. "Let me guess, you are a police officer."

"Detective Montgomery," Monty stretched out his hand for a shake.

I stared down on his hand, while examining his face all the same. "How can I help you?"

"I am here for serious business, Miss Araya," he addressed, bringing out a small note from the pocket of his jacket.

"Zamani," I corrected.

He raised his eyebrows in question. "What?"

"My name…" I beckoned. "Zamani, not Miss Araya."

Monty shrugged his shoulders. "Anyways, I was sent by the precinct to inform the family of late Mr. Bilen Araya that his death was a murder and we are working on the case to catch the culprit."

It was as if someone snapped the twig that joined my heart into half. I wanted nothing more than to leave here and never come back again. Monty was so calm while he dished out his bad news, but I took it as a good news because now was the time to rise up and bring hell.

"Do you want to come inside?" I widened the door, in hopes that he might come in and we might do something interesting.

An amused smile was coated on his lips. "Do you want me to?"

I nodded and swallowed the lump that was stuck in my throat. I wanted him to come inside and get familiar with me. "Since you are on official business. Tell me, was my brother pushed?"

"Seems so. Unfortunately, there was no footage of the balcony and no one claimed to have seen anything," he informed me as he entered into the house and looked across the living room. "You have a beautiful home."

"Thank you," I responded, as heat weaved its way to my face and I could feel my cheeks turn crimson.

"You live alone?"

"With my brother. It was actually my parents house, but when Bilen and I graduated high school, we decided to unburden our grandparents and come live here." This was an unnecessary information, but I thought it best to tell Monty. I had the inkling that I could trust him. "Forgive me, Detective. What would you like to have, tea or coffee?"

"Coffee, just the normal blend, no milk or sugar." Monty trailed his eyes on me and finally, his gaze fell on my exposed arm. "Zamani?"

I narrowed my eyes to where his gaze had fallen and noticed that it was fixed on the new scar on my arm. "Yes?"

The intensity of his gaze burned through me and my creature begged for him to start a fire in me. "Have you not had enough of pain?"

I crossed my arms against my chest as I stared at him and tried to answer his question. To be honest, I've never had enough and I craved more. "I don't understand."

Monty closed the distance between us, as his fingers grazed my skin. "Are you a masochist because you want to explore your boundaries and find catharsis? Or, are you a masochist because it is a coping mechanism?"

My breath ceased in my throat by the closeness. I have no idea why he asked me this, but to be honest, I wanted to grab him by the collar and kiss the hell out of him. "I just want to satisfy my death drive."

He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So apart from giving yourself scars and playing with fire, how do you satisfy real pain?"

I chuckled, my fist grabbing his collar and pulling him closer to me. "I'm hurt by the fact that I wanted to hook up with you at the party and then we got disrupted and if I should tell you that you have been on my mind, you'll reject me."

Monty snaked his arms around my waist, as the spaces between us were closed and we were touching skin to skin. "You really want to bask in rejection? I want to touch every inch of your skin, but I feel like it isn't right."

"You don't want to have anything to do with me even though you already know me?"

"I don't know you, Zamani and you don't even know me too, and I can't give you that satisfaction you want."

"Then how can I be satisfied?" I questioned letting go of him and he did the same.

"You should embrace your dark side."