48

THE MUFFLED CLICKS OF MY heels on the hospital hallway floor keep time with my rapidly beating heart. I can see the room where my brother is being kept, up ahead. I’m going to see him first because he’s in worse shape than my mom and because I know he’ll be scared. We’re in the burn ward, dressed in gowns, masks, gloves and shoe covers. I feel like I have cotton stuck in my ears the way all the sharp edges have been taken off the sounds in this place. Mick is beside me, holding my hand, just like he has been since we buckled our seatbelts on the airplane.

I reach the doorway and stop, dropping Mick’s hand and taking a deep breath. I can’t let Jersey see me freaking out.

“It’s going to be fine, babe. Just relax.” Mick is rubbing my arm. “Want me to come in or stay out?”

“Stay here first. I’ll come get you in a minute.” I can’t breathe. I’m starting to hyperventilate. The hallway is spinning.

“Babe. Get a grip.” Mick is shaking me by the upper arms. “Jersey is going to be upset if he se