I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE knocked on some wood earlier today when I was thinking Mick was all perfect and awesome and totally in love with me. Yeah, right. I am such a fucking idiot sometimes.It’s eleven o’clock at night and he’s AWOL. He hasn’t returned any of my calls, and a quick trip over to Rebel Wheels reveals that he’s not at work either. Jersey asked for him all night and no amount of reassurances on my part that he’d show up would satisfy him. After he had about two hours’ worth of fits, he finally fell asleep exhausted and in pain. I’m ready to kick some major boyfriend ass.I tried for hours to keep Teagan out of my mess, but I can’t stand it any longer. I call her number and tap my foot while I wait for her to pick up.“Yo, ho. What up?”“Nothing. Do you know where Mick is?”“Wow, abrupt. Um, no, I don’t know where he is. He’s not with you?” “No. I expected him all night, but apparently he was too busy.”“Oh.”I wait for the rest, but there is no rest. “Well?” I say, annoyed.
I SPEND AN HOUR TRYING to cook up excellent break-up scenes in my mind but nothing is working. Every scenario ends with me having a broken heart and Mick being an ice-cold d-bag. I can’t stand not knowing what’s happening to my life as it unfolds behind my back.It only takes me thirty minutes to get dressed and made up, ready to break some hearts on the dance floor. I hate games. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.My dad is dead asleep, exhausted from taking care of my mom and Jersey, so I leave a note on the kitchen counter in the house we’re renting and take off. I’m at the club in less than a half hour, walking through the door like I own the place. That’s right, y’all. I got my butt lifters on. Gravity cannot touch my jiggly parts tonight.The beat is familiar. This DJ Twatmonster or whatever her name is sucks.She just plays the same crap over and over and hopes nobody notices. Well, guess what cooter-breath! I noticed!I scan the dance floor, the bar, and the empty DJ booth, but
CHAPTER ONEI HEAR THE FOOTSTEPS BEFORE the voice. It’s my cue to jump up off my bed and lock my door before she gets too close.“Quinlan! Where are you?”I love my mom to itty bitty pieces, but if I have to sit through another one of her lectures on proper role-modeling, I’m going to move out. I swear to God, I’ll do it. Now that Teagan, my best bud in all the land, has her own apartment, I actually have options. The fact that she always declines to take me up on my roommate offers means nothing. I can wear her down; I always do. Nobody’s a match for my determination. No one.“Quinlan?” My mom checks the door. “I know you’re in there. Listen, I need to talk to you about Jersey.”My little brother. One of the three siblings I’m supposed to be setting an example for. Luckily, he’s the only one still around much anymore. The twins are way too busy with their social lives to bother with family much.“I’m busy, Mom!” I shout through the door. “Homework!”“You’re out of school and you’re n
CHAPTER TWOMY HEART NEARLY LEAPS OUT of my chest when the big boom hits. When I can breathe again, I jump from my bed and run to the door, opening it up. I expect to find complete disaster on my doorstep, but instead I just find Jersey in a pile, wearing a cape from three Halloweens ago. It’s way too small, but does that stop him? Hell no. He’d still be in his toddler-sized Ninja Turtle underwear if our mom hadn’t thrown them out last year. Jersey has a hard time letting go of the things he loves.He falls into my room, his head landing on my feet. “Hi, Sister,” he says, looking up at me, his expression pure innocence and mostly blank. He almost never smiles.“What are you doing, Jersey?” “Being invisible.”I sigh heavily. “Could you please go be invisible somewhere else? I’m really busy right now.”“Can you see me?” he asks, getting up on all fours and dog-walking into my room. He crawls under my desk and pulls the chair in as far as he can, trapping himself behind the legs.“Nope.
CHAPTER THREETHE BURBLING OF THE ENGINE outside jerks me out of my computer fog. Snatching the papers off my printer, I don’t even spare a glance at Jersey on my way out. “Stay here, turd breath. I’m going to see Teagan outside for a couple minutes.”“Put it on … lick it off ...”Two people are getting out of her Beetle by the time I get to the front porch. I fully expect to see her boyfriend with her, but instead am pleasantly surprised to see his younger brother, Mick. Holy hotness.I put on my coolest expression and add a little sway to my groove, slowing down my arrival so he can fully appreciate it. I know I shouldn’t be trying to catch his attention like that, but I can’t help myself. He makes me want to drop my panties right here on the sidewalk. I have a slight addiction to tattoos and bad attitudes, and he fits the bill perfectly. Plus, he’s gainfully employed, so that’s just a bonus.“Hey, Quin. You all done?” Teagan asks.I throw my arms around her and pull her into a hug,
CHAPTER FOURWE’RE SITTING IN THE WAITING room, the three of us: Jersey, Mick, andI. Any other doctor would probably punish us for being so late and either turn us away or make us wait until the last person left the place, but not this guy. Doc Harper is the most righteously awesome medical person I’ve ever met. He’s been treating Jersey since he was born and I hope he never retires. I’ll probably just show up at his house if he tries.Mick is sitting across the room from me, taking the chapstick from Jersey over and over and pretending to put it on and lick it off right along with him. I want to keep hating him for being nice and sexy at the same time, but that makes no sense. I’m not so confused that I don’t realize that. I also want to be mad about him being here, but he’s made that impossible. I’m starting to seriously doubt that he was mocking us earlier. What kind of guy bonds with a kid like Jersey and then goes to the doctor with him off the cuff like that? I pray he’s not a
“I don’t know for sure about anything except for one thing.” “What’s that?” the doctor asks.“I’m not going to lick that chapstick or that floor anymore. I don’t want a rash.”“Good idea.”“What about other things?” Jersey asks.I look up, not sure where this is going. Jersey has the doctor’s full attention too.“What other things?” the doctor asks. “What do you mean?” “If someone told me to lick something else, is that okay?”My heart stops beating and my throat goes instantly dry. I stand without thinking, reaching out for my brother. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mick straighten up.The doctor tucks his clipboard under his arm, his voice revealing none of the panic that I’m feeling. “Well, that would depend on what it was, I guess.You can lick pretty much any food item, but that might be the limit as far as I’mconcerned.”Jersey looks off to the side, staring at the wall for his next question. “What about a cat poo? Would that be okay to lick?”The doctor clears his throat.
I’M IN THE BATHROOM, SITTING on a closed toilet lid with my cell phone pressed to my ear. “Come on, come on, pick up the phone, Tea-Tea...”“Hello, sweetie cakes, what’s up?”I want to scream when I hear her say that. “What the fuck is wrong with all you people?” I say in a whisper-growl.“Well, that’s an interesting way to start a phone call,” Teagan says, a smile in her voice.“Since when did you start calling me sweetie cakes?” “Since today, I guess. You got a problem with it?”“No. But I do have a problem with everyone doing shit that I don’t expect, okay? So if you could just go back to being the old scowly grumpy Teagan for right now, that would be first-class. Seriously.”“Wow, who shit in your Wheaties?”“Good. That’s better. Mick shit in my Wheaties if you must know.” “Mick? Mick as in Rebel’s Mick?”“Yes. His little brother. The ass-kissing, hot sexy, liar, jerk face, … guy in my house right now, sitting down to eat dinner with my whole frigging family.That guy.”My mother’