CHAPTER 1: FAT, WOLFLESS, UNWANTED.

AUORORA

“Hurry up with the herbs, will you!”

“I’m sorry, I’m coming, I’m coming.” My legs already felt weak from crossing the pack several times to get herbs for the wounded soldiers.

“Aurora, can you stop being so slow!” Magdalena, the pack head healer screamed at me as I finally got to her.

“I’m sorry, here it is.”

“Now go get the bandages in my room. Hurry!” As I made a u- turn, I slammed into someone—my sister.

“Watch it, you fat whale. Always so clumsy and slow.” Lila whispered so only me could hear, while putting on the same sweet smile she used whenever people were watching.

“I’m sorry” I answered, keeping my head low.

“Be careful, you wouldn’t want to fall down here and have them insult you now, would you?” She asked through fake smiles as she finally let me go and walked past me to greet her friend Lucas who also got wounded from training this morning.

I stared at her for a moment then turned and ran out to get the said bandages.

As I passed through the pack kitchen, I could see the look of disdain on their faces, their sneers and their obvious hatred for me.

This was supposed to be my pack, the place I should feel safe and loved but all I got were insults and humiliation over and over again. No one cared or even spoke to me. All they saw each time they saw me was a liability.

A fat, wolfless burden.

I started to feel my heart constrict, something that happened each time I let the pain of their words and behaviour take over.

The dots started to appear,

my breathing started to slow.

“No, not now. Not here”

My fingers tightened around the box in my hands as the world around me seemed to tilt and their laughter echoed in my ears. It was too loud and too sharp.

I couldn’t breathe, I dragged in a shaky breath, but it wasn’t enough. My chest felt tight, as though an invisible hand had wrapped itself around my lungs and refused to let go.

Please, not here.

If I collapsed in the middle of the pack grounds, they wouldn’t help me. They would laugh just like they always did.

The thought only made my breathing worse. Black spots danced across my vision and I started to sway before slightly catching myself.

Focus, Aurora and count. That’s what Magdalena had taught me. And so I started to count backwards, slowly. Ten…nine…eight, the tightness in my chest eased slightly.

Seven…six…five, the dots began to fade.

Four…three…two…one. Finally, I could breathe again.

I got to her room and pulled the whole box of bandages before dashing out again to meet them on the training ground. As I got closer, I heard them.

“What is taking her so long?” Andre spoke first.

“That girl is so slow, I hope she didn’t stop at the kitchen to eat something” another one bit out while the others laughed.

“She’s such a burden, I pity whoever would end up with her.” Cadence’s bitter voice also rang out.

My grip tightened around the box of bandages until my knuckles turned white. I shouldn’t have been surprised, this wasn’t the first time I’d heard pack members laugh about me and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

But hearing them mock me after I’d spent all afternoon helping them somehow hurt more. For one stupid second, I’d convinced myself kindness mattered, the tears burned at the back of my eyes.

But I forced them back and started moving again when I heard my sister’s voice.

“Oh, I wish the moon goddess would finally remember her. I mean she’s old enough but still unmated and wolfless. Mom and dad have said they would sell her off to a rogue Alpha if she still doesn’t get mated by the next Moon Bond.”

I stopped cold, they wanted to sell me off? and to a rogue Alpha? How could my own parents hate me so? What had I ever done to any of them to deserve any of this? It wasn’t my fault that my wolf had refused to show itself, it’s not like I intentionally locked it away or something.

And besides it wasn’t like I sat around doing nothing. So why do they still hate me so much? Why couldn’t they just leave me alone?

“Oh, that's really thoughtful of your parents. If they sell her off then maybe we can stop seeing so much fat in one space.” Cadence responded, causing the other people to explode in laughter.

“But that would be unfair, she would be treated so poorly” Lila sniffed, acting like she cared about me. But I knew as she’d always done, that all that was just a front for people to believe she was sweet to me despite me being “a waste of space”.

“Someone like her does not deserve to be treated well Lila, I mean look at her and look at you. Who would want to treat her nicely?” Lucas asked.

“That’s enough you all, you keep talking like that and your healing would be even more delayed” Magdalena finally spoke, pushing me to leave my hiding spot and come out with the bandages.

“Oh finally, someone decided to show up.” Another one sneered at me as I got closer to Magdalena. Their words hurt but somehow I didn’t break down and for that I was very grateful to the moon goddess.

“Lila could you get me water from the kitchen, I’m thirsty.” Magdalena asked gently, this was how she always spoke to her but when it came to me, it was always orders and commands.

You would think I was her servant and not a volunteer. As Lila was leaving, Lucas spoke up again.

“Such beauty, I wonder how one can be so beautiful and graceful while the other so ugly and clumsy.” They all laughed again and kept praising Lila until she returned.

But I tuned them out instead and kept working, I would keep doing what I could. Not because I had to, but because I genuinely loved to help people and watch them do better and so that was what I would keep doing.

After cleaning them up, I bid Magdalena farewell and walked to the only place I considered safe. The bloom garden—a place that gave me solace and where I could tune out the noise and draw without being disturbed or called useless.

I picked up the pencil and sketch book in my side bag and started to draw. As always, I drew a silver wolf again, this time, looking more alive than the previous ones.

Each time I picked up my book to draw it was always this same thing, a silver haired wolf with glowing runes. But no one in my pack looked like this and definitely no one had heard of this color of wolf before, so I always hid my drawings to avoid another insult from the pack.

As I stared at the drawing, I remembered a dream I used to have of a woman who would shift into a silver haired wolf, but I didn’t know this woman yet she felt so familiar and for some weird reasons I always felt like she looked like me.

Shrugging off the memory, I looked up and realized it was getting dark. I had to run home to prepare for dinner and get my sister’s and parent’s clothes ready for tomorrow.

Oh shit… tomorrow was the Moon Bond ceremony, the day every unmated wolf dreamed about.

The day fate chose your mate,

the day everything could change for better…

Or worse.