The Virgin Wife

Chapter Four

Elara's POV 

We both froze on the spot, I didn't believe I had raised my hand on Mason, I adored him so much that I never believed that I could.

"I...I..." I stammered as I tried to get the words out of my mouth but no words came out.

"I'm sorry....I didn't mean to.." I immediately apologized, I acted out of reflex, I just couldn't take all the insults anymore.

I tried holding him, he immediately hung his hand in mid air, signalling I stopped, then dropped his briefcase as he turned and walked out the door, banging the door so loud that it made me flinch.

The house fell dead silent, I fell to my knees as hot tears streamed down my cheeks. This was not marriage, this was a sham and nothing was going to make him love me. All I wanted to do was disappear..or even worse run away but the Lorne family held my own family at the debt they owe.

It was not like our regular fights, this time, it took him two days to finally return home.

I laid in the room the third day, when I heard movements, I was ready to called the estate security when Mason walked in.

The footsteps on the staircase were heavy; as on the previous nights, I would lie drifting in and out of restless sleep until I heard the heavy footsteps. My heart stuck as it pounded against my rib cage. Mason.

The door opened a squeak, as I sat up in bed, shocked and flinging the blanket about me. He stood there upright in the shade, in bulk, in strength. His tie was anything but tight, and his shirt was same several buttons undone at the throat. It was the look of his eyes that held me stark. Worse than angry, something Even than indifference something colder

“Mason…” I whispered.

He gave no reply. He merely strolled toward me, flung-down his jacket on the chair. I gulped and my heart began thumping hard as he approached the bed.

I thought that he would yell a moment. And perhaps turn away. Instead he caught up my wrist and dragged me towards him. His lips pressed mine not sweetly and lovingly, but forcibly.

My body was trembling. My mind was yelling in confusion but my heart… my heart was unfaithful. These were my two years dream. To know his touch To be his, even to stay with him one night.

I never fought it. I couldn’t.

The room was beggared of gagging gasps and of grasping hands. My gown dropped off my shoulders and I lay exposed to his hand. Then he slowed his motions down… He darkened, his hand clenched, he understood.

He froze.

Elara...! his voice was hoarse, with disbelief in it. You, so you have never...”

It gave me a blush of shame. I nodded, and this time I said, yes, you’re my husband. You are all I want.

I think, for one tenuous moment, there was a softening in his eyes. In a single moment it was gone. His lips and his jaw tightened, his eyes became hard. He had to drive the thought away, and burrowed in me as it were to forget what he found.

To him it was no matter. To me it meant everything.

After we were done, I lay shaking against the bedclothes, grasping the blanket to cover my nakedness. Mason already started on his shirt, his back toward me. He did not even look at me. Not once.

With a little sob my lips opened and a broken whisper came, Did it, to you mean...anything?

Silence.

He made no reply. He simply picked up his phone, and before he left the room he said, Don't get the wrong idea. This means nothing.”

The door closed.

And with it most of the hope I had held out crumbled to pieces

.

.

.

I felt sore the next morning and it was not my body that was hurt. I sat at the vanity and stared at myself- my red eyes, red swollen lips, bruises on my skin, that were not given out of love, but out of ownership

One short night I fancied I was a married woman. But to Mason I was just another burden.

I knew my answer earlier than I thought I would

In the stairs I halted, as I heard voices below. Mason’s mother. Her cold imperative voice penetrated the walls.

"You are coming along, Mason. At least the Lorne name has a chance now of an heir. She has played her role.

My chest caught. My knees began to buckle. The blood ran out of my face.

 it was true He had not approached me in love. Even not by desire. He was there because his mother told him to.

I clapped my hand to my mouth to try and stave off a sob that wracked my body. My body shuddered as my hot tears trickled by my face

It hadn't been a miracle last night. It had not been the opening up of a new chapter.

This was the last stroke of hope of mine.

To Mason I was a receptacle. A stand-in. An image of a shadow of Selene.

And in that moment I knew I could never have his heart.

I staggered back in the room in a haze thinking of the things she had said. A tool Nothing more. Such was the person I had become

I felt I could not breathe. There was a dull pain in my chest which seemed to be crushed by something huge in weight. Nevertheless, there was a part of me, foolish, desperate that had to have it said out of his own mouth. Wanted him to disown it. Wanted him to say it was not true.

I waited until I thought the voices were heard no more before I went downstairs Mason was standing in front of the glass doors with his hands in his pockets, and his features were enhanced to clarity by the glow of the city lights. He was looking something untouchable as always.

"Mason,"  I called hoarsely.

He turned, with a face that still was impenetrable.

"I heard your mother," I began. " Is that why you made love  to me last night? Was it only because she asked you to?” 

Between us there was an interval of silence lasting a heartbeat. His form was blurred by my sore tears. His eyes remained cold and distant in mine.

I was compelled to do what had to be done, replied Mason in a dismissive tone of voice almost masking what he really felt. There is a reason as to why this marriage is so. It should not be confused with anything."

I felt tremble on my lips " Yet you were mine, Mason. And all this time… I prayed, I waited...”moving ruefully and slowly.

“Stop.” His tone sliced me like a knife Make no fantasies. "You never were designed to be anything more than what you are at present. I do not love you Elara Vance. Let that sink."

The words pulverized the remaining part of my heart. I reeled away a sob choking in my throat, my palms shaking as I tried to hold myself together.

He did not approach me. He did not narcotize.

As to that, he had simply turned his back to the glass, and was staring out at the city as though I had never been there in the least.