Chapter 5 — The Cerone Family

Allegra

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I don't know if it was deliberate but my mother has chosen the most hideous dress anyone could ever ask for.

This dress is so plain, it looks like something an Amish woman would wear. Long sleeves, full skirt, and white color - it's almost like a uniform. And what's with the cape on the bodice? Is it supposed to make me look more pure? Like some kind of symbol of innocence? It's ridiculous. Who cares what I wear? I am who I am, with or without this dress. But I suppose I'll wear it anyway, just to keep up appearances. The white color symbolizes my virginity.

Never been touched.

Never been kissed.

No one has ever seen how I look like underneath all these clothes.

All of a sudden, the situation became terrifyingly real. The thought of getting married and moving in with a complete stranger, becoming his wife, and bearing his children, whether or not I truly loved him, filled me with an overwhelming sense of dread. My heart felt like it was sinking to the bottom of my chest.

With bated breath, I struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. The luck had run out for me, and the harsh truth of mob life stared me right in the face. I knew all too well what went on in the shadows of our cruel world. Even though Grandpa had been kind to me, I couldn't ignore the heinous crimes committed against women in La Famiglia. Fathers bartered off their daughters, and husbands treated their wives like trash. Infidelity reigned supreme. Most of them were cheaters—just like Mrs. Gastone.

I wouldn't label myself a dreamer, as my grandfather often does. The truth is, I am a realist and fully aware of the obligations placed upon me. Despite this, I cannot shake the feeling that I deserve at least a bit of freedom. A decent man who would allow me to live a little shouldn't be too much to ask for, but it seems like an unattainable dream.

With a tired sigh escaping my lips, I sluggishly made my way to the bathroom and turned on the shower knob. The warm water trickled down my skin, providing some respite from the exhaustion of the day. After a quick rinse, I grabbed a towel to wrap around my wet frame, and another one to dry my hair.

As I walked back to my room, my gaze drifted towards my mother who sat on my bed, holding up a dress she had picked out for me.

She ran her hand up and down the fabric of the dress and said, "You know what, I actually wore this dress when my marriage was arranged with your father. Can you believe it?"

My lips trembled as I tried to hold back my tears. I couldn't believe it - my mother rarely spoke to me about my father or anything else. But in those rare moments when she'd share a bit, it was like a small ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy sky. Her life after my father's passing had turned her into this strict, distant woman.

I still remember the good times - the way she used to smile and laugh without a care in the world, dancing around the kitchen while my father cooked. They were inseparable, meant to be together. Until they weren't. And now, I'm left with the shattered pieces of their once-perfect life.

"The white color is the symbol of your purity, you know that don't you?" she asked, with a hint of doubt in her voice.

"Yes, why do you ask, Mama? Is there something on your mind?" I inquired, feeling a little puzzled.

"Well, I was just wondering if you've been behaving yourself lately," she said, with a raised eyebrow.

"Why do you ask that, Mama?" I questioned, feeling a little anxious.

"Because I don't want you to bring any shame upon our family," she replied, looking at me intently. "Are you going to behave yourself tonight?"

"Yes, Mama, I promise I will," I assured her, trying to sound confident.

"Allegra, Aldo Cerone is a good, powerful man. He is the head of security of the Capo. Don't underestimate his connections and influence. I suggest you proceed with carefulness and make sure that his demands are met to keep him content. I want this to work."

My gaze dropped down to the floor and I nodded, "Yes, mama, I'll make sure that this evening goes on smoothly, just as you expect it to."

She nodded, "Do not talk about your stupid books or your college. He is expecting a wife, not a child to take care of."

Like the obedient and perfect daughter I had always been, I nodded, "Yes, mama."

She got off the bed, walked to me with the dress, and for the first time after so many years, she smiled at me. I was stunned - it was the last thing I expected from her. She handed me the dress with a gentle touch and then, to my surprise, she caressed my cheek lovingly. It was a gesture so unexpected that I couldn't believe it. She leaned towards me, I closed my eyes and felt her tender kiss on my forehead - a sign of love that I had never experienced before from her side.

With a hesitant smile, she slowly made her way out of my bedroom. My legs turned to jelly, and I collapsed onto the nearby ottoman, gazing at the white dress as though it was a trap.

The thought crossed my mind that my parents had found love in their arranged marriage. Could I possibly find it too?

I changed into the white dress, my hands trembled with nerves. I combed my hair back into a sleek bun, trying to calm my racing thoughts. Finally, I lightly put some blush on my cheeks, hoping to add some color to my pale face. I then applied light pink lipstick that almost blended in with my lips. I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time, trying to convince myself that I looked my age of twenty-one. But with this dress and my hair styled like this, I couldn't help feeling like I looked older and out of place.

The doorbell rang downstairs and I knew the guest had arrived. I sat on the bed and waited for my mama to call me downstairs.

It took almost fifteen minutes before I heard my mother's soft voice calling me downstairs.

My legs trembled as I trudged down the stairs, making sure to keep my eyes downcast. The familiar scent of Grandpa filled my nose as he came beside me and led me to the living room.

"This is my granddaughter, Allegra Rossi, and Allegra, my dear child, this is Aldo Cerone, a firstborn son of the Cerone Family and the head of security to our Capo."

As I slowly lifted my gaze to meet the person my mother had selected for me, a sudden fear gripped me. My breath caught in my throat and my heart raced as I locked eyes with the most intimidating and unforgiving pair of dark eyes that I had ever seen.

I stood there frozen, my eyes took in Aldo's appearance who towered over me like a giant. He was an older man, ruggedly handsome with scars that crisscrossed his face as if he had been in some intense fights. His face held a permanent scowl as he looked me up and down, making me feel small and vulnerable. I couldn't help but tremble in his presence, feeling like a lost child in a stormy sea.

We settled down in our seats, I couldn't stop fidgeting with my fingers that were resting on my lap. The men were engrossed in discussing the Cosa Nostra's business, and I struggled to keep up.

In attendance was the entire Cerone family, including Vittoria Cerone, her husband, and their daughter. Vittoria's scrutinizing gaze gave me goosebumps, and I couldn't help but wonder if they were unimpressed with our humble home. With her son being the head of security, I presumed that the Cerone family was quite well-off, judging by her disdainful looks.

A few moments later my mother chimed in, "Dinner's ready, I'd like you all to join us at the dining table."

We all made our way to the dining room, I took my seat, and I couldn't help but feel apprehensive about the evening ahead. I found myself sandwiched between my Grandpa, and Donatella Cerone, Aldo's sister, whose piercing gaze made me feel uncomfortable.

"So, Allegra, do you know how to cook?"

I froze in my spot, I didn't know how to cook. Mama had never taught me and I was too busy paying attention to my studies and keeping my CGPA perfect to even think about anything else.

Not wanting to disappoint Mama, I said, "I do..."

I felt a knot form in my stomach as she nodded and started asking me questions. Now, I have to keep this conversation going. What do I even say? Maybe I can talk about myself? But what if I sound boring and uninteresting? All I ever do is go to nursing school, attend church, hang out with Chiara, Silvio, and Enrico, write, and babysit for our neighbors. Ugh, college is all I ever talk about, I need to find a way to steer this conversation away from that. Can I make a joke? Or maybe, I can ask her about her hobbies or interests? Okay, deep breath, I can do this.

As we talked about babysitting, she inquired, "Do you have experience in handling kids?"

With a nod, I replied, "Yes, I have been babysitting a little girl next door since she was only five months old. I am quite adept at taking care of children."

Once the dinner was over, Aldo and his father excluded me and took Grandpa aside to have a conversation. I was left with the Cerone women who pestered me with endless questions, showing no signs of stopping.

As Grandpa and the Cerone men returned, my breath hitched as my eyes locked with Aldo's for a mere second. In that fleeting moment, I couldn't help but shiver, consumed by the terrifying thought of becoming the wife of this man. The fear pulsing through me was almost suffocating, leaving me trembling with nerves.

"Aldo would like to talk to Allegra alone," Grandpa announced, nodding at me.

I could feel my heart pounding as I got up from my seat, my sweaty palms trembling as I slowly made my way toward Aldo. Without uttering a single word, we both walked into the adjacent room. The sound of the door shutting behind us sent shivers down my spine, making me feel even more anxious than before.

As Aldo confidently approached me, my hands began to shake with nervousness. He extended his hand towards me, and for a moment, I hesitated, unsure if I should take it or not. My eyes darted between his hand and his face, trying to gauge his intentions.

"I... We shouldn't, we aren't married nor we are engaged," I managed to say. I had no problem shaking hands with him but these Made men had a mind of their own. Even with a handshake, they'd say she is putting out.

"You go to college..." he said, it seemed more like a statement than a question but I nodded nonetheless, "And you want me to believe you haven't done anything?"

As soon as his words hit my ears, my eyes narrowed in annoyance. Was he seriously trying to suggest that I wasn't pure? My blood boiled as the urge to slap him surged through my veins, but I refused to let my anger get the best of me. Instead, I held my head up high and stated, "I have never indulged in such an activity. Not even a kiss. As a La Famiglia woman, I hold my values high and respect our traditions."

He nodded and had a knowing expression on his face, it was as if he knew that already and just brought it up to see how I'll react.

"I wanted to have a word with you in private because I wanted you to be the first one to know," he said with a calm voice.

My heart sank and I braced myself for the worst. "What is it?" I asked with a hint of concern in my voice.

"I have made up my mind, Allegra. I like you very much, you are everything I want in a woman. You are pure and honorable, and you know how to dress like a lady. You cook and you are good with children as you've said so yourself. I wanted a woman who'd know how to manage a household, and you checked all the boxes, Allegra. I would be fortunate to have you as my wife."

Even though my heart drowned more and more as the words slipped from his lips but I managed to give him a faint smile, "I'm glad."

"Now that it's done, we'll set the date of the official engagement but before we do that, is there anything you want to ask of me?"

I looked at him, I couldn't help but notice his mature yet attractive features. He seemed like the kind of man my mother would approve of, someone who could not only provide for me but also be there for her. The thought of spending a peaceful and secure life with a man like him, like Aldo, crossed my mind. I know that I am capable of adapting to any situation in life and being married to Aldo would be just that - a new phase of life, but one that I'm ready to embrace.

My voice barely audible, I gathered the courage to speak up. "Fidelity..." I murmured.

He leaned closer and spoke softly, "What is it? Speak up."

Taking a deep breath, I looked him in the eyes, "I need to be clear. I expect nothing less than fidelity from my future husband. Loyalty and respect are non-negotiable for me. I stand firm on my principles and won't settle for anything less."

"I rarely indulge with any woman, Allegra," he said, letting out a dry laugh. "And after my marriage, I assure you that infidelity will not be a problem for you as long as you satisfy me in bed."

I couldn't believe what I just heard. "As long as I satisfy you in bed?" I repeated incredulously. "What kind of condition is that? What happens if I fail to meet your expectations? And besides, I'm a virgin. I have no clue how to make a man happy," I asked, my tone serious.

He again laughed, "Don't worry about that, I'll teach you, now is there anything else you would want other than fidelity?"

With my palms interlocked, I replied, "I vow to be a supportive partner and a responsible parent to our children. However, I also have a dream to become a nurse, and I request your permission to continue my studies—"

He cut me off mid-sentence, "Absolutely not. Under no circumstance will I permit any woman to socialize with other men while being engaged to me. Moreover, after we get engaged, you will no longer be permitted to pursue your academic pursuits. Educated women are not suitable for creating a harmonious home life."

As I listened to him, I felt a surge of anger rising within me. I couldn't believe his blatant sexism. "Are you serious right now?" I asked him incredulously. "You actually think that a woman's only role is to be a homemaker? That's ridiculous. Women have the right to pursue any career they choose, as long as I am fulfilling my duty as your wife—"

He scoffed at me, clearly not taking me seriously. "It's about following the traditional roles of men and women. Once we get married, you will stay at home, and I will be the breadwinner. That's how it's supposed to be."

My tongue was itching to lash out with a scorching response, but I clamped down tight when I saw his temper was about to hit the roof. I didn't want to create a ruckus or give my mother another excuse to be disappointed in me.

"And try to talk less from now on, I don't like it when women talk too much."

Shoving my anger down, I nodded. The second they will step out of the house, I will say no to this engagement, "Yes..."

Aldo calmed himself down before he apologized for losing his temper, he again made his terms clear before he walked out of the room and I followed behind.

Aldo went to his family and they talked with Grandpa some more and suddenly they were all smiles and my mama had the biggest smile on her face. The official engagement would be a week from now. I tried to be civil while everyone congratulated us, but honestly, it was suffocating me.

They finally left and Mama turned to me, "This is the happiest you have ever made me—"

"I don't want to marry Aldo..."

Mama and I said at the same time.

Mama's face transformed from a haunting silence to a fierce rage. Even though I knew how this conversation was about to unfold, I was also prepared to stand my ground and fight for my right to receive an education.