Flurry of Thoughts

That night, I laid awake on my back in my bed, alone, staring up at the ceiling, wondering why I’d said that to Sam and what I was going to do about it. Outside of my window, I heard familiar howls and knew that a large part of my pack was out there roaming around, doing whatever it was they do at night. 

A thousand thoughts ran through my head, but mostly, I just kept thinking about what I had said to Sam and what it meant. I’d told him I loved him. I’d said it in a joking way. But I knew in my heart that I meant it.

Did that mean I didn’t love Ben anymore?

I couldn’t say for sure. But I felt like the more space Ben tried to give me, the more I found myself learning to live without him. That also scared me. I didn’t want to have to live in a world without Ben in it, and I di