Four

"Are you sleeping?" he asked again, and I kept my eyes closed, my arms crossed over my chest, and my lips pressed tightly together.

"You haven't slept well, have you?" he continued, as if we were old friends. He had been at my grandmother's house when I arrived, and he seemed to be trying to console me about the news of our arranged marriage. But his attempts were futile.

I let out a loud snore to signal that I was sleeping, hoping he would take the hint and stop pestering me. I had never encountered such a talkative and nosy man before.

"I know you're listening, and you're angry," he said with a chuckle. Of course I was angry. My parents had left earlier, leaving me alone with this man. Our supposed family bonding time had been shattered by the news of the arranged marriage.

I stop snoring and lean toward the window. But my eyes shut open, hearing his laugh, which is gnawing at my ears as if I want to strangle him until life is not on him.

“I won’t disturb you, sleep well,” he says in a caring tone that stands the hair on me.

I adjust my sitting position and face him with my burning eyes. “What’s your problem?” I yell, and the person sitting in front of us glances at her back—even the one behind us.

He raises his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Hey," he says with wide eyes, though I can see a hint of a smile on his lips. "What did I do to upset you?"

"Stop bothering me and mind your own business," I say, struggling to catch my breath. "We're not friends. Act like a stranger."

I turn away from him and close my eyes, trying to block out the curious stares of the other passengers. I don't care what they think; I just want to be left alone.

"Sorry," he whispers, barely audible. "You've changed. You're not as shy as I remember."

I want to scream at him that I'm not Cairen and never will be. My chest is tight, and I'm finding it hard to keep up the act with this man.

“People change. You forget it,” my response and enclosing my eyes. “Before, I may have been shy. Now, I am not that so.”

“I see, and you easily piss off. Don’t tell me you are in that monthly thingy?” Zach asks casually as if that thing was normal to him.

I sit properly and glance at him. “Do you have a sister, Zach?” I exclaim and close my mouth when I realize that I am Cairen.

“You forgot?” he smirks. “You are close with my little sister, Arabella.”

As I sat there trying to muster up the courage to speak, memories of Cairen's diary flooded my mind. The mention of Arabella, Zach's little sister who was two years younger than him, stood out to me.

"I know," I finally managed to state, my voice barely above a whisper. "I suck at conversation," I lied, unable to look him in the eyes.

Zach took a deep breath, and I caught a glimpse of a smile forming on his face. "I know," he replied. "I've tried talking to you before, but it's like you were afraid of me. You never looked at me, and you always had Grace by your side. Despite all of the teasing she endured from Rica, you were always there to defend her."

His words struck a chord with me, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I had let my shyness get in the way of potentially meaningful conversations. But then, he mentioned something that made my heart sink.

"And then, one day, you left," he continued. "Grace asked me if I knew where you were, but I had no idea. We're both close with your family, so why didn't you say goodbye to anyone?"

The weight of his question hung heavily in the air. 

I stop looking at the stewardess, who passes our seat and peeks at Zach. If only I could tell him why Cairen left without saying goodbye. I grip my hand tightly.

“I don’t want to talk about that, and I’m probably not used to this kind of travel,” I excuse myself. “Don’t ruin my sleep.”

I turn around and rubberneck outside the airplane’s window, viewing the cloud we are passing. The first time I met Cairen, she was so weak, and she smiled at me, delivering me a warm embrace. Her tears of happiness saw half of her. I only had one week of her; that was not enough. I had an operation to save her using my bone marrow, but it was not enough.

Sadness and fear in her eyes, but she smiled, acted bravely, and accepted her fate. It was…I can’t explain the feeling of seeing someone you care suffered. It’s more than painful, and how I wish it should be me, not her. Only I could trade my life for her. I am willing to save her if it means losing my life.

The edges of my eyes warm. The memory that hurts so much. It was hard for me to accept that she was gone forever.

I'm jolted awake by a gentle shake, and I nudge the hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sleeping, Mami, don't wake me up!" I groan and try to keep my eyes shut.

"Hey, we're here," a man's voice chuckles.

I reluctantly open my eyes and look around, realizing I'm not at my old place with my nanny. I take a few seconds to fully register that Zach is pulling my baggage down from the luggage compartment and he didn't have a bag with him.

“Continue to sleep in the car that will take you to your parents’ house,” he says with his eyes narrowing as his lips grin.

Everyone would say I am lucky to have this guy in front of me. If features are the basis, he may be included in the fifty most handsome in the world. But those who think so are wrong. I am bad luck. I am in a misfortune.