Reality.

A blonde woman sat on Tom’s lap, her arm draped over his shoulder as she sat crosleged over his Lap, their faces close enough to touch.

My chest tightened, my legs felt like jelly, and for a second I couldn’t breathe.

Tom stood up abruptly, pushing her gently aside.

My voice quivered. “What's the meaning of this, Tom?”

Tom's brows furrowed; he pointed a finger in my direction. “You, what are you doing here? Haven't I warned you to not come here uninvited?”

“Who is this Tom?” the lady asked.

I glanced at her — and recognised her instantly.

I couldn't mistake her for anything.

Lisa, Tom’s first love.

My heart dropped.

“Sadly, she's my wife, Lisa,” Tom said, his fingers curled tightly by his side.

My heart finally shattered into a million pieces.

“Sadly?”

He turned to the secretary. “I told you not to allow anybody in.”

“Sir, I tried to stop her, but…”

“Get out,” he commanded.

She turned around sharply and walked out.

“You didn't tell me you had a wife, Tom,” Lisa said, from behind me.

“I didn't think it… important.”

Tears ran down my cheeks. My legs threatened to give way.

I spun around and walked out of the office, taking the stairs two at a time.

I felt the piercing gazes as I half ran through the lobby on the ground floor, but I didn't care.

The air felt too contaminated to breathe.

I walked fast towards my car.

“Selene!” Tom called from behind me.

I didn't stop.

I stopped at the car and fidgeted with the door handle.

He held my wrist and spun me around.

“You are overreacting, Selene,” he muttered.

“Overreacting?” I jerked my hand away. My chest pounded. “You bring your first love to the office hours after getting a devastating report while I was at home struggling to make your favourite meal?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, okay, Lisa’s really sick, and she needs someone at her lowest. I am only helping.”

I stared at him. For a moment I wanted to believe him. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and take me inside and tell me he just wanted to surprise me for our anniversary.

“By bringing her to your office to warm you up, Tom? What does her being sick have to do with your infidelity?” I sobbed. The words hung in my throat.”

“Look, now isn't the right time to talk about this. We would meet at home.” He walked past me and opened the door. “Go and freshen up, Selene.”

I stood, gazing at him. This wasn't the Tom I had married on the pulpit that day.

I steadied myself and walked into the car.

He shut the door and waited. Till I drove out of the premises.

I never looked back.

I knew there was trouble when I overheard his sister's excited voice when she spoke to Marilyn, Tom's mother, about Lisa coming back a few weeks back.

“I am so excited, Mother. Aren't you Tom?” She nudged Tom at the dinner table.

Tom had pretended not to care, but I caught the curve of his lips before he rolled the pasta into his mouth.

She had left without a trace after Tom had an accident a few years ago.

The diagnosis was that he wouldn't walk again. But he did.

Tom was heartbroken; he claimed he would never love again.

A rumour sufficed that he wasn’t interested in women. That wasn't a good reputation for his father's company.

Our marriage was a form of damage control.

I wailed. Tears blurred my vision as I drove.

All my years of dedication thrown down the drain.

I couldn't go home. I couldn't let Amira see me this way.

I drove to Sophie's house. My best friend for the longest time.

As I stepped down from the car, she opened the door and walked out.

“Sophie,” I called out in between sobs, unable to stand without wobbling.

She ran to me, pulling me into a hug. “What's wrong, Selene?”

I tried to speak, but the tears wouldn't let me.

“Let’s go inside,” Sophie said.

She guided me in carefully. We sat on the sofa while she stroked my hair.

I buried my face in her shoulder, taking in her scent. My body trembled.

Slowly, the tears wavered.

She pulled me back and wiped at my eyes.

“Here is a tissue.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“What’s going on, Selene?”

I snorted, “It's Tom.”

She drew back, venom on her lips. “That man – what did he do this time?”

“I caught him, Sophie, with Lisa. They were making out or about to. I don't know.” Tears spilt out again.

She got up angrily. “What! How dare he? That piece of shit.”

“Oh Sophie, I am so heartbroken.”

She scrunched her face like I had said the most irritating thing ever. “Heartbroken Selene? You should be angry. You should be done with that man. You have endured a lot.”

“I know, but what about Amira? She needs a father,” I muttered.

“She doesn't need a father, Selene. She has you. I am here too, and that's more than enough.”

“But…” I began.

“There is no but, Selene. You need a divorce.”

My head snapped. It was the first time we had said the word out loud.

“Mmhm,” she nodded.

I sank deeper into the sofa, my hands clutching the edge of the cushion. Sophie’s words echoed in my ears. Divorce…

I thought of Amira, of all the years I had given to Tom, of every time I had swallowed my pride to keep our fragile peace. My chest tightened. Could I really let go?

I wiped at my tears; my fingers trembled.

I closed my eyes and exhaled shakily. “Maybe… maybe it’s time,” I whispered.

But even as the words left my lips, I felt doubtful. Was I ready? Could I survive letting him go?

The memory of Amira earlier today asking for a hug from Tom and him shunning her made my fingers dig into my palms.

I wasn't going to let him dictate my life in this way anymore. I just couldn't.

It's just, had no idea how.