Four - Knots

Love is easy, they said. The connection we can’t explain. Sparks, tingles, that ridiculous flutter in your chest, vibrating through your skin from a simple touch. And boy, has my heart craved for such a feeling. On top of plushy clouds, an endless cup of grapes, and soft silk across my body.

My fingers slid down his arms as his eyes sucked in mine. A hiccup escaped my throat. Perhaps a kiss would have solved it. Oops, I meant water would have solved it.

His touch burned. I jerked away as if scorched by iron. His hand instinctively reaches out to hold me again, but I push back, a soft growl escaping my throat.

“Kira,” he called, his tone etching with hunger.

I could feel the small butterflies fluttering in my belly. That was all I needed to know I had crossed dangerous waters. This was not what I wanted. Or needed. Thirsty as I was, this could not be happening. An alpha as my mate? The world was about to turn on its head.

My wolf responded, gnawing at me to hold on to the alpha as my life depended on it. I wanted to believe something was simply wrong with my body, but looking into his blue orbs, it became clearer.

He reached out for me again. His fingers caressed the hair over my shoulder. Burnt from his touch, I scurried away from him.

Nick closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, his eyes were red. His wolf was now in charge. His gaze lingered on my lips longer than I would have liked, but my wolf, yippy for this interaction, kept me rooted to the ground, begging to be sniffed.

My heart beating loud against my chest, my legs did what they knew how to do best. Run.

I struggled to see where my legs were taking me, moving like a mad woman on a mission. The number of times I tripped over a rock, a tree branch, and tiny gravel stones would have given the weakest wolf more than enough time to catch up with me.

But he wasn’t following me. The knot forming in my chest made me stop, look back for any sign that the alpha was behind me, but there was none. Not a peep. Not a growl. Just the silence of the cold air and rustling leaves.

Perfect. That was a good thing. Right? The alpha wasn’t chasing, so obviously that meant whatever just happened was a false alarm. For a race that believes in instant connection, there obviously had to have been a false connection at least once in a decade.

I didn’t care and continued to find my way back home, but at a slower pace. With every step away from him, the tightening knot climbed from my chest to my throat. Similar to the urge to release tears. My body slowed down, sensing it only got worse as the distance between the alpha and me grew, I knew something was wrong.

Mates were supposed to be the moon goddess’s greatest gift. The pleasure, bond, and companionship were more like poetic nonsense. Not one for theatrics, I always knew there was something more to the soul mate connection between wolves. Perhaps stronger than feeble human relationships, but still, there was something so vague and controlling about the mate bond.

And knowing my true nature and impending doom, I had made peace with never wanting a mate. Not then. Not now. And surely not with a possessive alpha of questionable character.

Yet I could not totally deny how I felt. I could have sworn my heart stopped beating the moment our skins touched. The tiny hairs on my skin rose in unison, my heart racing faster than a sports car, and knowing he could hear it was so embarrassing.

This was all too much. Nothing made sense. All I did was come out for a cold swim, and now my wolf thinks we’re mates with an alpha. Ridiculous.

The knot seemed to finally ease its hold on my throat, and I continued on the path home. I guessed ot must have been stress from the long flight or perhaps the change of environment. Something was always happening around this pack, and I just knew the moment I had a good night's rest, all the drama of tonight would be forgotten.

In the distance, I could finally see the backyard of our house and picked up my steps. The small iron fence was locked, but I easily jumped over it, hoping not to announce myself to the entire family. Unfortunately for me, the back door was locked, leaving me to do the walk of shame through the front door, where all eyes would be on me.

Why did I consider it a walk of shame? I might have barely interacted with him, but the little hand grabbing here and there was enough to leave his overpowering stench on me. How that was possible was beyond me, and the moment I crossed the threshold, my parents would smell him on me.

As if the universe finally chose this moment to pity me, I spotted a long hose by the garage door connecting to the outdoor tap by my mom’s vegetable garden. I rush to it and spray myself down with water for a total of three minutes.

It still wasn’t enough to wash his scent off him, but it would give me the window to rush up to my bedroom and take a proper shower.

Kayla must have heard the water running, because as I got to the front door, it opened wide to welcome me.

“Hmm, and where have you been, young lady?” Her lips purse, scanning my wet body from head to toe.

“Taking a dip in the River Nile. Home sweet home.”

I pushed myself into the house and noticed my parents in the kitchen, distracted by whatever Dad was cooking. I dashed up the stairs before they could notice or smell me. Kayla was hot on my tail for very obvious reasons and followed me to my room.

“I’m going to need a better answer than taking a dip. Since when do you take a dip in a river fully clothed?”

“Well, considering it’s a public space, it didn’t seem proper to swim naked,” I argued, and she scoffed, slamming my bedroom door.

“Hey! My door hasn’t committed any offence.”

She ignored me and continued probing into my wet situation. “We always swim naked at river nile, so humor me when I say I don’t blame you.”

I sigh dejectedly, pulling off my trousers. “Okay, fine. I didn’t plan to swim but fell into the water.”

Her brows furrowed, eyes dancing with a million questions. I assume she’d take time to ask more questions, but she surprised me.

“How is that possible? Did the wind push you into the water?” Now, her tone was mocking. As the stronger twin, she never missed a chance to take a jab at me for my gentility. I was mocked for the longest for having the behaviour of a proper lady but the character of a jaguar. I was not happy to admit it, but I was a snapper. I snapped at every little thing, and honestly, it was just my simple way of keeping people at arm's length.

Kayla was well equipped to handle the socializing part for both of us. She easily controlled any room she walked into, humans flocking to her wolf’s essence like a magnet, and I just knew she would never be as miserable as I was.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” I laughed dryly. “I might be lightweight, but I can assure you I’m not that feeble.”

She shrugged, plopping on my bed. “If that’s the case, you provide me with answers on why you’re soaking wet,” she said, pointing at my wet clothes that were all now on the floor.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

I entered my bathroom, switched on the lights, and of course, she followed me.

“Try me.”

Kayla sat on the toilet seat as I stepped into the shower and drew the curtains. The word privacy didn’t exist in Kayla's dictionary. If given the chance, she’d rather live in my skin than be away from me for more than an hour.

I turned the shower on to the highest setting and softly said, “I met someone.”

The blaring water from the shower felt like a shield to hide my words, hoping she didn’t hear a peep from me.

The shower curtain was pulled back with full force, and my eyes met Kayla's shocking face. “You what?” she screamed, and I immediately used the hand shower to spray some water on her face and closed the shower curtains back.

“Can I please take a shower before we continue this irrelevant convo?”

“Fine, fine,” she replied dejectedly, and I later heard the door shut behind her.

While thinking of how to break down my encounter with the alpha, I vigorously scrubbed the musk scent of my body. Usually, I’d use one body wash and sometimes a sugar scrub. But today, I lathered 3 body washes and scrubbed my skin clean to the point of dryness.

My head was reeling, trying to process the events of the evening, and it didn’t feel easier with Kayla hanging on like a lost puppy to learn about my River Nile escapade.

Mentally, I slap myself. Why am I even calling this an escapade? More like a nightmare a dark witch would concoct.

The ever eager kayla knocked on the door, reminding me I only had 30 seconds to rinse off and get out of the bathroom before she stormed in again. Threats don’t faze me. Not since I left the pack life, but a threat from Kayla was one I don’t joke about.

I wrapped my body and hair in towels and came out of the bathroom. On my bed was a fresh set of pyjamas that Kayla had thoughtfully spread out.

“The weather might get chilly this night. Would you like thick or thin socks?”

She asked, hovering over my clothes drawer. I was actually surprised she could find things that could fit me, but I suspected our mom regularly went shopping for us even though we weren’t physically with them.

Dressed in the pyjamas and the socks on my feet, which Kayla kindly wore for me, we lay side by side on my bed staring at the ceiling. Kayla wasted no time with her interrogation.

“Spill! Who did you meet?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t give a name.”

“He? And he didn’t look familiar?”

“Nope. You know I’m not really good with faces. Besides, it’s been over 10 years away from the pack.” The lies flow out so smoothly, I feel guilty for withholding the truth from her. It was for the best, though.

There were certain things I was not ready to share. Not for the purpose of being secretive, but rather my own way of protecting my only sister.

She hums softly. “I agree. It actually feels good to be back. But in a weird way.”

“How so?” I asked.

“All our old friends would probably have gotten older, found their mates, and maybe even had kids. Do you think they’d recognize us?”

“I’m sure they will. Just one word from you and they’ll remember all your antics.”

As the popular twin, I had no doubts Kayla would do the honors of introducing our arrival to our old friends, and despite not being ready for that, it was inevitable. I was about to ask her to delay meeting anyone when she called my name, “Kira.”

I hummed in response, and she asked, “Why did we ever leave the pack?”

Her question lodged another knot in my throat, my body slightly frozen from her question. One I had been dreading and hoped would never come. The only thought in my head now was “how do I tell her she lost a part of her memory and that i was the reason why?”