Bittersweet Beginning

Phoebe.

When dad informed me about Phoenix's condition, I was taking a remedial exam. I immediately left the classroom and didn't care about my calculus exam. My brain spun fast and brought up images of our last quarrel. My heart sank and I really couldn't think straight.

I arrived at the hospital an hour later because the traffic to the hospital was badly jammed. I broke out in a cold sweat as I stood on the bus and cursed myself. I should have turned into a wolf and run as fast as I could to get to the hospital. I wish I had done it earlier.

I didn't and was relieved after the bus stopped at the hospital stop where Phoenix was being treated. I pushed out the queue at the bus exit and ran without looking around anymore. Arriving at the hospital lobby, I approached the nurse's desk and asked for directions to the intensive care unit.

“You can go straight and turn left, the first room.”

“Thank you,” I said quickly to the two nurses behind the desk.

I followed their directions and stopped in front of the room whose door was half open. I saw dad and mom standing by the gurney with their eyes fixed on Phoenix. When they noticed my arrival, dad walked straight to me and pulled my hand to follow him.

However, Phoenix was still my brother. We often fought. He would always scold me if I was too lazy to take out the trash. He always reprimanded me if I spilled popcorn on the sofa. He always acted as a big brother and I never realized it.

“We know you're sorry, dear. We're trying to come to terms with it. There's nothing we can do but wait. May the Moon Goddess always guide us.”

Mom tried to calm me down. She looked strong in front of me but I knew that she was devastated by this incident. Mom spoke in a trembling voice.

I looked over at dad. His appearance looked messy and sad. I've never seen dad that disheveled in my entire life.

He was quiet and didn't say much while mom and I talked about Phoenix. Dad chose to go inside Phoenix's room rather than be with us. I exhaled harshly, not daring to speak to him when he was already in silent mode like that.

Two weeks had passed and Phoenix had yet to wake up from his coma. Mom and I took turns looking after Phoenix while Dad continued to do his Beta duties in our pack. He also came to my school and Phoenix's to re-register for the next semester.

There came a point where dad and I were seriously talking in the back park of the hospital. After more than two weeks of not talking to me, he looked at me with his brown eyes that made me guess the topic we were going to discuss.

“I want you to take Phoenix's place. Livingstone needs Phoenix for this season on their sports team. Phoenix has already signed up and he told me that the position could help him get a scholarship to college.”

Dad paused his words and I still didn't quite understand the whole'I should take Phoenix's place'thing, because I had just bumped into a boy who was probably the same age as me and my shoulder was still hurting.

Holding my shoulder, I said, “We go to different schools dad, how can I take Phoenix's place?”

“You're twins and you want to make amends, don't you?”

I frowned deeper. I started thinking about dad's words and closed my mouth reflexively. I looked straight at him and blinked repeatedly until dad spoke again.

“I will transfer you to Livingstone and you will start your school this semester. You play the role of Phoenix and become a male student there.”

“But dad, how do I do that and what if I get caught by them?”

“I don't care how you do it. You can learn from anywhere. Don't you teenagers like to search for information with that internet you use. I don't accept denials and rejections. sincerely want to make amends, Phoebe. Then I will forgive you.”

My heart was in turmoil. I was sincere in my regret, but becoming a Phoenix was something beyond my expectations. I didn't have the slightest idea about it.

True to dad's words, I used the remaining one week to learn about undergoing gender identity disguise. I cut my hair, I took some of Phoenix's clothes from his closet and I diligently practiced my hand skills to play games in his team.

On a Monday morning in early August, I traveled with my dad to Livingstone. Dad's car pulled into the school parking lot and he checked my preparation before we got out of the car. My hands were shaking and my legs felt too stiff

to move

.

We both entered and were immediately greeted by a man wearing thick glasses who was probably in his late fifties. He focused his gaze on me from behind his glasses and nodded.

“Phoenix Mathews, congratulations on your success in joining the Divergent Howl e-sports team.” I responded to his words with a nod of my head.

Fortunately, Dad had already told me the principal and teachers at Livingstone. Principal Hartman was the first person to interact and talk to me. Honestly, I was so nervous that my legs were wobbling under the table.

[Stop shaking your legs, Phoebe! Do you want to get caught?]

Dad spoke to me through the mind link. I was quite surprised and only realized that I could hear him because I had been able to turn into a wolf. I immediately stopped shaking my legs and breathed regularly.

Dad talked to him about all my school needs and I had to raise my voice to answer his questions. I found it difficult at first but after a few times doing it I finally started to adjust.

Suddenly a boy walked into the room. His tall appearance made it difficult for me to look at his face from my chair. I heard him clearing his throat softly and lowering his face to me.

We noticed at each other for what felt like an eternity, and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I took a deep breath. Exhaling slowly to conceal the tremor of my nerves. Something inside me was stirring, desperate to break free.

Words eluded me as I grappled with an overwhelming sensation I couldn't quite interpret. When our eyes met, a wave of desire surged within me, powerful and undeniable. I instinctively clutched my chest, struggling yo muffle the frantic pounding of my heart.

“Is this normal?” I managed to whispers, my voice trembling,

But before that, a flicker of uncertainty crossed his face, leaving me to wonder if I was about to learn something that would change everything.