Four

Ryker

I groggily rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as I padded down the stairs and tiptoed through the silent living room into the bright light of the rising sun shining in from the east like a beacon into the spacious room.

The rich scent of coffee had lured me out of bed, but as I entered the room, the fragrance which had submersed my dreams washed over me like a cleansing rain, bringing a sense of peace with it that had been absent in my life for so long.

The familiar aroma of clean linen and lavender assaulted my nostrils, superseding the smell that had driven me here to begin with. I squinted my eyes open more fully as her personal perfume overtook my senses, searching every corner of the space before me for my mate.

My bleary eyes connected with her brilliant green orbs, and I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through me as I said, “Still an early riser I see. Do you mind if I get some of that?” I finished, eyeing the steaming mug ensconced in her delicate hands as I gestured to the pot still brewing the rest of the liquid gold.

“Yeah, some things never change I guess, and help yourself. I was just on my way out.”

She moved to walk past me, but I hastily side-stepped directly into her path, blocking her exit before she could make her getaway. I had just gotten my mate back. I wasn’t ready to let her leave again so soon.

“Wait, we need to talk about travel arrangements. Asher already left, so you are stuck riding back with me.”

Nevertheless, I realized that I may have made a misstep as I took in her angry expression and huffing breaths, and her resulting words quickly confirmed my fears.

“You don’t get to decide what I do anymore, Ryker. I am a grown ass woman. I can make my own decisions all by myself without your input. I have been doing it fine these last two years without you. Don't ruin it now.”

I sighed in exasperation before reacting, although I knew that my former behavior had more than warranted her response.

“I’m well aware that you are a “grown ass woman” Ronnie.” I paused to let my eyes rove over her lean figure to prove my point, not bothering to hide my desire as I did so.

Then, I went on with my next breath before she could interpose, “But as it would make the most sense for us to ride together, would you pretty please drive back with me, Shadow? It will be like old times again.”

I couldn’t help antagonizing her a little as payback for her snark. I knew that she was intentionally being difficult, but she was right.

I could have phrased my statement in a different, more polite manner, especially if I had any intentions of wooing her sometime within the ensuing year.

My wolf snarled internally, pissed that I might do something to mess up what was likely my last chance to fix things with our mate.

“Rea—”

Jax stumbled into the room in the midst of our heated chat, cutting off Ronnie’s voice as he emitted a loud yawn and beelined straight for the coffee, oblivious to the tense situation that he had walked in on.

Ronnie tried to slip past me with the distraction that her brother provided, but I blocked her flight once more. I spoke up before she could argue further, “Is leaving after breakfast okay with you Veronica?”

Jax butted in before she could respond, laughing, “Veronica? Why so formal, Ry?”

He took a huge gulp of his beverage without waiting for an answer, wincing when the scalding fluid burned its way down his esophagus with the first sip.

After swallowing the mouthful, he tilted his head in Ronnie’s direction, stating, “I was actually going to ask if you would mind sticking around a bit longer to help out at the clinic before you left. Our males took some heavy hits, and our healers are struggling to keep up.”

Jax’s words instantaneously made me consider all of the males that would be in the general vicinity of my unclaimed mate in such a confined space, and I barely managed to prevent my wolf’s territorial growl from slipping out in reply to the possessive feelings that were coursing through my bloodstream.

I felt the sharp sting of my claws as they sliced into the rough-skinned flesh of my palms. I clenched my large hands into tight fists as the blades embedded deep in the muscle, embracing the pain in order to center myself in the moment.

My raging hormones spurred me to interject without thinking first, “I thought you needed me in the South? If I am being forced to take on the role of Alpha, I need to get back and see what I’m working with as soon as possible.”

“You can spare a few hours, Ryker.” Jax admonished, giving me a strange look before he refocused on his sister.

I knew that I should feel ashamed of myself, but I was finding it difficult to think sensibly where my mate was concerned.

Everything that I had discovered over the last two years had indicated Ronnie as being an excellent healer, even if she was still fairly new to the trade, and I could not honestly begrudge another male her attention when it was so evidently necessary.

I had run like my life had depended upon it after we had gotten close that fateful night so long ago, but I had always kept up with her life, irrespective of my cowardice, albeit through circuitous channels.

I knew that she shared a house with two other girls and that she recently finished her training to become a full-fledged healer. I was impressed with her heart and her big brain. She was one of the youngest to achieve the rank of healer, and it showed in her dedication to the craft.

I was aware of the facts of her life, but I was no longer privy to any of the reasons behind them. I did not know why Ronnie had chosen to become a healer. I could guess, but it wasn’t the same as hearing it from her perfect lips.

Ronnie replied to her brother while I was busy fighting with myself, saying, “I would love to help for a little while, but I do need to get home soon as well. I apparently have a ball to plan since you took my sister away and Scarlett fled. Now it’s only Mari and I stuck with the tedious task.”

Jax had mentioned the ball in passing previously, but I had not realized that Ronnie was the one in charge of the plans, however reluctantly it appeared she was to take on the task.

I remembered in detail how much she had hated organizing anything, and I wondered idly how the event was coming along. I made a mental note to check in on the situation once we returned home.

I knew a lot of males were counting on the occasion to help them find their other halves, and I was well aware of how it felt to be denied my own's mere presence, even if the separation had been my own damn fault. It was something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

Every second I had delayed in claiming my mate had been pure torture, but I was done resisting the pull of our mating bond. 

I would hate for others to suffer because Jax had foolishly assigned a job to someone who was already overwhelmed with enough responsibilities.

Ronnie had a lot on her plate with being a full-time healer, and I doubted that she had time to handle all of the particulars. Shit. I was alpha now, maybe I would just assign some poor saps to help her.

I drifted to the side, perching against the counter as the two siblings worked out the details while my mind roamed from the past to the present.

My wolf and I had suffered these long two years and some change without our other half. It had nearly broken me to leave her like I had, but the memories of my history in the area had resurfaced alongside my return.

I had battled against the onslaught for as long as I could, but I hadn't been able to take the horrible images that were consuming my brain any longer after a while.

I couldn't have stayed notwithstanding, considering the ongoing war, but I could have at least reassured her before leaving, kept in contact, or something. Instead, I had dropped off the face of the Earth altogether, at least it must have seemed that way to her.

I returned several times to my home territory to ensure her wellbeing at Jax’s request. I would have returned without his directive regardless, but he didn't need to know that small detail.

I had never been able to bring myself to face Ronnie after my spineless action, and nothing had changed to make our situation any easier then. I had still been pulled away by the fighting, and I had been unresolved whether I would ever return to the South to remain after it ceased at that point.

Now, the choice had been taken out of my hands, but I found myself grateful for the shove. It was time for me to start living in the present and stop letting the demons drag me down.