CHAPTER ONE

What if I could end it all, everything, right here and now, I thought as I sat down on the cold bench while drenched in my own tears, i hated the foster care home, the children there, the nuns, i hated their stupid food, the college and the rich brats at my college. However, I needed a roof over my head, the stupid food in my stomach, and I still remember the awful night when my parents and my sister passed away in the fire that caught our home.

The memory twisted my heart in pain which caused a lump to form in my throat. I felt a stream of warm tears running down my cheeks. I recalled the morning of that day, the nightmare of my life, the bullies at my college.

“You are a loser who doesn’t even deserve a fucking position at this school,” they scorned me as they poured a plate of cereal over my head. I wished the ground would open up and swallow me at once. I grabbed my backpack, ran out of the cafeteria in tears, but then, someone else tripped me, I fell, the who room buzzed with laughter, I slowly got up, my eyes blurred with tears, I ran to the river, I missed my home, my old school, my old friends which made me breakdown even more, I hated those brats so much.

As I was still contemplating whether to kill myself or not, tires screeched ahead of me, a black car pulled over to the riverside, and I gasped as two big men came out of the vehicle, all dressed in black tuxedoes,I hid when I realized that they carried something wrapped in a blanket.

What is going on, this must be a murder going on, I thought,I squinted my eyes and caught notice of the number plate of the car, my heart pounded in my ears, and my eyes gaped in shock. I scrunched further underneath the roadside bench, my eyes not leaving their plot,they whisked away the blanket in the cold running river, suspiciously looked around to see if anyone was watching which made me make a silent prayer.

“God, if you let them walk away, without catching me, I promise not to try to kill myself again,” I muttered under my breath as I squinted my eyes hard so that they almost hurt as my trembling hands held the grass tightly. Soon I heard the car drive away. I slowly raised my head, peered through the trees to see if anyone was there, and let out an exasperated sigh after realizing no one was there, even the tears that had run down my face had mixed up with the sweat that fell down from my forehead.

Slowly, with hesitant steps, I walked to the river , I stared hard and long at the blanket which had already drowned halfway in the river whilst cascading over the rocks. Pull it out, I thought, but maybe I should leave it alone and walk away, another thought, what if anyone who was wrapped inside it was still alive, another thought, better if you don’t add anything else on your hands right now, what you had going on was enough, I thought. I turned to walk away, I just couldn’t, the curiosity in me was screaming louder than my thoughts,

“Fine, you win,” i faintly muttered, I threw my backpack away, dived in the cold water, immediately it touched my skin, I regretted the whole idea instantly, the waster was freezing, I swam, luckily, the water tide was low that day, I stretched my hands across the water, touched the blanket, pulled it, but it was heavier than my own body, slowly I pulled it to the shore, the sand tripped me and scratched my knees badly, at the shore, I lay it in the grass, I untied the selctape around what I thought was the neck, arms and legs.

With so much hesitation, I slowly unwrapped the wet blanket not knowing what to expect ,first, I unwrapped the arms, the pale hands peeked through the blanket,

Tall

Slender but soul less, I reached for the hands, faintly warm, then checked his pulse, very faint, I could have sworn to not have heard a pulse, I unwrapped his shoulders and head, my breath hitched instantly as a shiver passed through my whole body because of the cold breeze, my eyes widened with shock as I looked at his lifeless body, his skin, shone under the moonlight with beads of water flowing down to the ground, his abs well marked, I slowly touched them tracing down between each ab, hard, faintly warm, moving up and down as a sign of breathing. Then I looked at his handsome face, his plump full lips, pale but begging to be kissed, his well chiseled Greek god nose, his strongly shut eyes lids, covered in long curled lashes, his well chiseled face, jaws in the right place, ignited something I well knew inside of me, I slowly wiped his jet black hair that fell on his face to the sides, it was like God had created him himself, finely, on an early morning after the sabbath, then I noticed them, the bite marks, scratch marks spread all over his body, except his lower body which was dressed in a black trouser, but his feet, shoeless.

Luckily, I was nearby to save him from drowning, questions ran through my brain,where was I going to keep him, in the foster home? No, because someone was going to notice him, except that at the foster home, I slept in the basement because I had already turned eighteen and in a few weeks, immediately after graduation, I was expected to move out, I frantically struggled as pulled his heavily built body over my frail body, which was a bad idea because he almost slid off and fell back on the ground, after allot of struggling, I felt extremely exhausted from it all, I lay down in the grass to catch my breath, as I stared at the sky, wondering what to do, an idea hit me, I got up, fast, looked at the blanket, I lay it on the ground, tied each of the corners around his legs and a knot on the other corners, placed it around my shoulders, which looked like a cart except it was a blanket.

I carried my back pack in my hands and dragged him all the way across the street, it was late in the night so no one was going to witness what was happening, scared, I became each time I took a step in the dark, abandoned alleys of the town, a cat jumped out of the dust bin almost made me throw his body in the air, soon I could see the foster care just a few feet away from me, I felt tired and weak in my knees, I stopped and caught a breath, then towed him again and sooner than later, we were already at the foster care door, I peered through the door and I could see our matron nun sitting at the corridor, everything felt bizarre, maybe I could explain to her I thought, explain that I wanted to kill my self, nope, then our cat came through the back and stopped a few feet from me.

“Hey buddy, come here,” I whispered but it didn’t bulge, it became aggressive, wanted to lunge at me, its meow became aggressive, like it had seen an enemy in front of it, it moved forward and clawed the leg of the stranger that was peeping out of the blanket.

“ Go away, bad kitty,” I chased it away, and it ran off into the trees and hissed at me, I wondered why it was acting strangely but anyway, maybe it didn’t like the stranger, I thought.