Chapter 2: Coming Back To It

Two months later she finds herself wondering, “Now what?" As she says it under her breath and then sighs.

She had already started picking up her violin again and drawing.  People had begun to take notice when she posted a couple sketches on her social media account.  From there, she found herself with a handful of commissions from wealthy patrons. 

As it turns out, people really like painted portraits of their dead pets and loved ones to keep close to them.  Realizing that she had found a niche she filled well, she made several thousand dollars on just a few commissions.  It didn't take long for her schedule to start getting booked up.  After all, people like to talk, and word of mouth is the best way to drum up business.  However, playing the violin had always been in the background. 

When she was younger, she had even won several awards nationally that gained her recognition in the musical world.  The problem was that just as she was becoming well known, she had a bad car accident that ruined any chances she would have had at the time of continuing her musical career.

One night fresh out of college, she was driving down a dark road as she was coming back from her parents’ house.  It was a snowy night, and there was plenty of slush on the roads.  The car slid from side to side, so she drove slowly, but still, she couldn’t control it very easily.  As she felt the car hit a patch of slush under the tires and start to spin, she looked ahead of her and saw a pair of headlights coming straight at her.

Later, she found out that the driver of the truck didn't even try to stop.  He had plowed into the side of her, and the emergency crews had to use the jaws of life to pry the door off its hinges.  When she woke up in the hospital, the doctors came in and told her that she might have a chance of losing her baby.  The whole time she was devastated, she was in so much pain that she wanted to die. 

After her baby Ann was born and many months of rehab, Sara finally was able to walk again.  She was never the same after that though because the accident had stolen something from her.  No longer caring if she lived or died, she went through life without realizing that the time was flying by.  The violin was forgotten, and as everything else did, her marriage slowly went downhill over the years. 

After a short time, Sara completely stopped drawing and went into a deep depression.  Throughout all the endless days, the only thing that prevented her from ending it all was her baby girl.  She loved her more than anything else in the world.

Eventually, two and a half years later she had twins.  A beautiful baby girl Isabel and a very handsome boy Hunter.  Unfortunately, things only seemed to get worse.

Her marriage was at a crossroads, and she wanted to get divorced.  Too late, she found out she was pregnant with Nora.  Throughout the whole pregnancy, she tried to find some way of getting along with George, but there was no use.  Once she had decided to leave him, she couldn’t go back.  Ever.

When complications during Nora’s birth had arisen, Sara had to have a hysterectomy and was forced to realize she could no longer have another child.  This was the last straw for her, and it caused her to sink into an even deeper depression.   So, when she almost lost Nora, it killed her inside.  Every day she stayed by her in the NICU, constantly talking to her and making sure she knew she was loved.  Then, finally one day she was able to come home.

For a while, things seemed to be alright if she stayed out of George’s way.  That is until one day last year when Sara found lipstick on the collar of her husband’s work shirt.  She had noticed that he kept coming home later and later.

When she confronted him, he told her the truth?  Apparently, he had been having an affair with his secretary for years.  No matter how much sex Sara gave him, it was never enough.  She often felt like she was never good enough for him

What surprised her more than anything, was the fact that he had anger issues.  Before this, he hadn’t ever shown any inclination of it at all.  One minute he would be home from work, the next he would start screaming at the kids for no reason.  Sara knew that she should have divorced him long ago, but she didn't because she believed that children should have two parents in the home. 

Realizing that there was no love loss for Sara, she found herself wondering if she ever really loved him.  Matter of fact, she doubted she would ever find a man to love her like in all her romance novels.  After all, at 45, who would want her now?

Men would sometimes notice her voluptuous curves and flawless pale skin, but all they were really interested in were one-night stands or what they call friends with benefits.  She refused to be in a no strings attached relationship, no matter how corny it sounded when she said, “I am searching for so much more.  A love of a lifetime relationship.

Sara wanted that ending that was meant to be.  She knew deep down in her heart that somewhere out there was that special someone, her soulmate.  Someone who was destined to be with her for the rest of her life.   She believed with all her heart that someday she would meet him, and it would all fall into place.  Of course, her luck it would be right before she died.

Just as she starts to get depressed about things that could or should have been, she finds herself remembering something.  She knows the man from the store with the incredible blue eyes.  It clicks like a light switch in her head and then she bolts up from the couch where she was drawing and goes to find her school yearbooks.