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Chapter 3

Penulis: Lingering Warmth
"Isabel? What are you doing at the hospital?"

I squatted down in surprise and pulled Isabel Frazier into my arms. She was my little companion during my amnesiac days.

During my time in the hospital, I was terrified and lost. It felt like someone had hollowed out a massive hole in my heart.

I drifted through the days in a constant dazed state and felt completely at a loss, like a piece of driftwood tossed about by a storm. I even struggled with the most basic tasks.

Isabel was the one who had patiently taught me, as if she were guiding a preschooler. She stayed with me, talked to me, and kept me company, so I felt less lonely in the hospital.

"She fell off the swing while playing and hit her head, so we're here to get it checked," her uncle, Fredric Moss, explained. His eyes lit up when he saw me, as if he was clearly pleased.

"Oh, no. Are you okay? Does it hurt?" I worriedly ruffled Isabel's hair.

She hugged my neck and nuzzled my cheek. "I'm okay. I just really missed you."

"I missed you, too."

As Fredric watched us tenderly, his refined features softened into a trace of concern. "Why are you here? Are you sick? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine. My son had an allergic reaction, so we came to the hospital."

"Oh… That's good," he said with a relieved sigh, then quickly corrected himself. "Wait—that's not what I meant. Is your son okay?"

I couldn't help laughing. "He's fine. He just needs an IV."

Fredric was about to say more when Jude's angry voice rang out behind us. "Serena!"

I turned around to see Jude's gaze shift from Fredric to my face. The smile on my face made him frown.

"Oliver's crying."

I immediately looked over at Oliver. The swelling on his face had partially subsided. Maybe the allergic reaction was too uncomfortable because his eyes were full of tears.

Crying, he angrily and anxiously pointed at Isabel. "Who is she?"

"This is Isabel. She kept me company while I was in the hospital.

"Stop crying now. It'll feel uncomfortable if tears get on your skin. Besides, as the older one, you should set a good example for the little one."

Something about my words seemed to make him even angrier because he started crying and shouting, "I don't know her! Get out! I don't want you taking care of me!"

Oliver had never liked me. He had tried to kick me out of his room more times than I could count.

Seeing him get so worked up that blood started backing up into his IV tube, I turned around and immediately walked out.

I didn't stick around to see him pull a face and start sobbing harder the moment I was gone.

After raising the pay several times, I finally found a nanny who was willing to come in for a tryout. I told Jude and Oliver in advance, "I've found a suitable nanny who'll come by later. Since you'll both be home, you can see if she fits."

Oliver, who had been inexplicably quieter and less hostile since the hospital incident, spoke up in a small voice. "Mom… I-I thought you didn't like having strangers in the house."

It felt like a lifetime since he had called me "Mom." Usually, it was just "hey, you" or my name.

Whenever I scolded him, he would just get more rebellious and say he didn't like a mom like me, and that Maddie was a thousand times better.

For a second, I was so startled that goosebumps crept up my skin. I brushed aside the discomfort and let out a dry laugh. "Having a nanny will make things easier."

Jude adjusted his glasses and chimed in, "It's probably for the best that you're taking a break, but…"

He gave a light snort and continued, "Don't find some ridiculous excuse to fire her once she's here, like claiming she's trying to seduce me."

The mention of my embarrassing past made me cringe so hard my scalp tingled.

That was just what being helplessly in love had done to me.

I remembered that when a nanny had simply forgotten her clothes and stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, I decided she was trying to seduce Jude and kicked her out of the house the same night.

Thankfully, losing and regaining my memory shook off that lovesick mentality. Otherwise, who knew how much more humiliation I would have caused?

Just as I was about to promise it would never happen again, the doorbell rang. Oliver glanced at me cautiously and surprisingly answered it himself.

There was some commotion at the door.

I was wondering what was happening when Maddie walked in, looking youthful and pretty. "So this really is Dr. Dixon's house!

"I saw the listing for a nanny and thought that I should apply since I could help you out. So, here I am."
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  • Memory Restored, Love Destroyed   Chapter 10

    Jude made several attempts to bring me to the hospital after that, but I refused every time. Slowly, I grew increasingly fed up with his persistence and pressed him more frequently about finalizing our divorce."Please don't bring it up again, Serena. I won't agree to a divorce, and I don't want a divorce either. I know that I messed up, and I'll make it up to you, so we're not divorcing.""What's the point of clinging on, Jude? As a psychiatrist, you know I need to stay away from the source of my trauma, which means distancing myself from you. So, why won't you let me go?"Jude's eyes were bloodshot from overwhelming emotions. As a man who once obsessed over cleanliness, he had even forgotten to shave.He grabbed my wrist and refused to let go. "That's not it. I never meant to hurt you, and I-I just… Just don't leave me…"I shook him off. "We've been together for years, so let this be the last thing you do for me—let me go."With that, I packed up my bags and moved out.A mo

  • Memory Restored, Love Destroyed   Chapter 9

    "Mom?"Oliver's voice came through the glass. When I looked out, he was standing outside with slightly reddened eyes.I called him in and asked, "What are you doing here?"Pressing his lips together, he clutched the hem of his shirt and occasionally sneaked glances at Isabel. "I wanted to buy you something delicious after school."I was stunned. He had never done anything like that before or given me a gift, so it seemed the divorce talk had truly frightened him."Thank you. Let me take you home."I had thought about letting Oliver eat with us, but when I remembered his long list of allergies, I decided against it and took him back. We waved goodbye to Isabel. In the setting sun, our shadows stretched long across the ground.I wanted to tell Oliver not to overthink, but I wasn't sure how I should start.He kept his head lowered. After a long while, he carefully asked, "Mom, can you hold my hand? You used to always hold my hand."Only then did I notice he had been clutching t

  • Memory Restored, Love Destroyed   Chapter 8

    "No!" The sharp cry of rejection came from Oliver, who grabbed my hand. "Mom, please! Don't divorce Dad or stop loving me!"I'll do whatever you say and behave. Just don't leave me behind."Jude's reaction was just as violent. "Divorce is off the table. I won't agree to it," he snapped. "You're just experiencing a temporary memory loss. Once we get you to the hospital and start the right treatment, everything will go back to the way it was.""Please go to the hospital, Mom. Everything will be okay then," Oliver pleaded through his tears.I decided that I would do it just this once.Jude took me to the hospital for a full series of tests and ended up with one conclusion—my condition came from a psychological issue. It was a post-traumatic stress disorder, or specifically, a textbook case of dissociative avoidance.Rather than treatment, the patient was recommended to be distanced from sources of the trauma.Jude argued loudly with his colleagues in his office and discarded hi

  • Memory Restored, Love Destroyed   Chapter 7

    Jude set the phone down and sat in the study all night. The words, combined with my recent behavior, led to an obvious conclusion. I didn't love him anymore, so that was why I had become completely indifferent toward him. It wasn't sulking, anger, or acting out.From the very bottom of my heart, I simply didn't care and couldn't feel anything at all. It didn't matter to me that he spent time with Maddie, and I didn't even care if Maddie walked into his bathroom because I didn't love him anymore.The realization hit Jude like a physical blow to the heart. Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead, and he pressed a hand over his chest, barely daring to draw a breath.How was it possible? We had been together for years.He had just grown a little impatient lately. He felt I embarrassed him, so he couldn't help wanting to escape just for three months…Three months… He'd left me in the hospital for three months, after I miscarried and lost my memory…Jude belatedly began to tremble.

  • Memory Restored, Love Destroyed   Chapter 6

    When I looked at Jude, genuinely confused, he laughed in anger. "Fine! Don't regret it!"He dragged Maddie, who was drenched and clutching her clothes, into the master bedroom and slammed the door shut.I went to sleep as usual.I had no idea that in the middle of the night, Jude would walk into my room with a cold expression. He stood by my bed and watched me for a long time, then did the one thing he had always hated most when I did it to him—he went through my phone.The post I had made online days earlier appeared before his eyes. "Help! What should I do when my memories are back, but my feelings aren't? Heck, I can't even relate to the past me! "Right now, I feel super nervous and awkward whenever I'm in the same room as my husband and son! What should I do? Please help me!"The comment section was filled with enthusiastic comments. "An amnesia plot straight out of a novel! Quick! Tell us more details!""What do you mean the feelings aren't back? Is your hippocampus fried?

  • Memory Restored, Love Destroyed   Chapter 5

    Goosebumps rose all over my arms again. That was when a sudden thought struck me—Jude probably wanted the spacious guest room for Maddie.The next day, I swapped rooms with her and moved into the nanny's room myself. But Jude's eyes darkened with suppressed, simmering anger. He was so distracted that he didn't even notice the coffee in his cup splashing scalding liquid onto Maddie's arm.That evening, he took Maddie into his study and even shot me a look just before he entered the door, but I kept scrolling through my phone, unbothered.No one in the house but me, not even Oliver, was usually allowed in the study. But she was Maddie, so exceptions were unsurprising.Later, Jude started to enjoy making comparisons. He would praise her cooking as better than mine, how she kept the house cleaner than I did, and how she organized the study more efficiently than I ever had.I rolled my eyes in exasperation. He could praise Maddie all he wanted since she did a great job, but was it ne

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