CHAPTER FIVE

MERRYGOLD

Cuddling to the warmth of my blanket, I said grace thanking God for my life, the people in it and my daily bread. Sleep came easy considering how long of a day it had been. I had this nightmare for days and days on end where I imagined Austin sneaking in and taking advantage of me. In this dream, I fought hard and ran far enough to hide behind big brother and Thomas.

In reality... I failed—

In reality, his hands swooped over my body in the dark. His breath behind my back watching me sleep. His eyes heavy with lust. Assuming it was another nightmare, I woke up breathing and sweating heavily after feeling his presence beside me... touching and caressing me. His tongue made contact with my neck, I felt my body shut down from fear. I couldn't voice my thoughts or scream. Where was the this confidence that I always had? Where had it gone? Where was my determination to fight back? Where had my daring courage to kick him in the nuts go? Where was my boldness to scream, to run, to—

My body shivered with chicken-heartedness. Every plan I once had for such an event had vanished in a blink second of his touch.

"What are—" I tried but he cut me off conforming that this was not some ludicrous dream but it was really happening.

"This could be very enjoyable for the both of us, Merrigold."

"No, please—"

Sighing, he hovered over my body and pinned me against the mattress as I tried to wheeze myself out of his grip. I had to think fast, my eyes looked everywhere for anything, my door was closed shut. How had I not heard it in my sleep? I could feel my heart beating in my ears.

"I do not want to hurt you Merrigold." He added. Even though both my arms were pressed against the mattress by his hard body, I still refused to open my legs. I kept them closed shut. Austin tried to knee them open but I wouldn't allow it.

"You do not have to do this..." I told him. My tears were close, something told me I would not come out clean. Something told me that my wish of running off and finding help before anything happened would be short lived. He would win...

"You're right, I do not have to..." He said softly. "But I want to." He smirked.

"Over my dead body!" I yelled in his face.

"Over your dead body it is. You're quite replaceable anyways.." He added.

"A-austin..."

"I suppose this could be over and painless if you just let me in." He gestured towards my legs that I had closed shut. Thighs clamped together

—

"Why?" I questioned.

"Because we both knew this would happen sooner or later, now let's not pretend that we were oblivious of that little fact." Smirking, his jet black hovered on my forehead reminding me how close at proximity we were. "You're smarter than that Merrigold."

I only gulped down.

"This could be very very nice and sweet or painful and bloody, with some sold off loved one's that you will likely never see again."

"Please—"

"I'm done playing cat and mouse, if you do not open your legs in the next... God knows Merrigold, you won't like the person I will become."

I only clamped my thighs tighter and he felt it. He stared at me with a warning daredevilry. "Merrigold—"

"Please—"

"For goodness sake be quiet!"

"This is wrong..."

"I know, that's the best part."

"I will scream, my brother will be here and and—" I stuttered.

Chuckling he absentmindedly moved his right hand which only angled me to remove my arm from his painful hold. I thought of biting him as my only escape considering he was well built and stronger. I forced myself to think fast, to move faster... if I did only to reach for a closed door. I tried pushing him off but he would not budge, I groaned as his weight on me became heavier. My arms felt weak and my body vulnerable as he traced his hand from my hiked up dress over to my breast. Vomit, tempted to convulse from my chest. I would never be able to see him the same if he forced himself against me. I'd already felt enough anger to kill him with a stare but not enough to encourage me to do so physically. I thought of my chances of getting out alive, my chances of living and seeing tomorrow. Was he capable of killing me? What if I gave in? Would Thomas ever forgive me? Did I have a choice?

"You will regret this!" He said abruptly stopping my thoughts and getting off me. He ran a hand through his silky black stomping out of my room. A sigh of relief escaped my lungs, tears surged beneath my eyes. My heart and mind refused to believe this had just happened.

This had occurred? It was not a glimpse of my imagination, it was not another odd nightmare, it had really happened. Fear soon settled within me as his last words rang in ears. I was thankful, he had left me alone. I knew it was not everyday something like that happened.

Perhaps, i spoke too soon. I should have taken his words to heart and not lightly. The day after, I found Austin taking advantage of my brother's wife. She was in tears as he looked me straight in the eye as he commanded her to bark louder like a dog while he took her from behind. I was beyond shocked and grief-sicken. He had knowingly told me to come see him around this very time for a reason. He gave me a narcissistic look that said 'frankly I could have anyone I want.' Knowing my brother, this would break him. He absolutely adored her, I knew she did not have a choice. A part of me blamed myself. This was all my doing. Was I to stop him? Fight him? Call for help? Who would dare help?

Running off to Thomas, I could not find him. I needed someone to comfort me and tell me it was not my fault. I needed to tell someone. I needed assurance that I was not a horrible person and that he was for thinking he could take advantage of people in a vulnerable state.

"Mr. Grover have you by any chance seen Thomas?" I asked the supervisor in a panicked tone.

With a shrug, replied. "The Gallagher ranch is short of workers. Master Austin sent a few negroes down there to help a family friend and keep good relations."

"Thomas?"

"Exactly what I said, frankly I do not like repeating myself." He replied sharply. "And that brother of yours."

"How come—"

"Listen here girly, I have a very busy set and I do not appreciate your disturbance."

"But but—" I hiccuped. "You're seated having tea and—" he rudely cut me off.

"Exactly, I'm occupied. Out of my sight! I don't appreciate negroes thinking I'm their friend."

"Merrigold—" I knew that voice, I could spot it from anywhere. Turning back he smirked at me as he continued to buckle his belt. Disgust was all I felt for him. Grover immediately got off his seat changing his stance.

"Ah, sunny day out!" He said.

"Certainly a beautiful day for an auction. Don't you think Grover?"

"Of course sir, starting with the house pets." Grover laughed at his own joke, scratching his scruffy beard.

"Not quite sure about this one... she still needs to be taught a lesson before leaving for horror. I reckon Perkins was in search of a new maid if you know what I mean."

Grover then let out a forced. "Yes, yes.. I'm afraid they never last a month before they get buried. I suppose that is just a rumor."

"Who knows!" Austin replied nonchalantly walking away. My first instinct was to check inside the barn if my sister in law was still there. She was... a crying mess. All I could do was kneel and comfort her as she cried. Deep down, I knew it was all my fault. Guilt ate me deep within my as she explained the horror she had to face. She hiccuped telling me that she did it for her daughter and husband but here I was doing nothing. I felt liable for this misfortune. Lastly she asked me not to mention anything to my brother, I did not. I promised I wouldn't for his own good. Knowing he would be quick to lay his hands on Austin. I wish he could. Austin was the devil reincarnated and it seemed I  was in for a wicked terror.