I have not had a date in about a century, are you sure I look quite alright... Mrs. Brown." I asked one of our oldest housekeepers, she had been there when I was born, when I went off to boarding school, upon my return. She had always been there.I could not recall a moment in my life where she had not been present. I had respect for my mother and Mrs. Brown. They were very close to my heart. Mrs. Brown gave me a soft smile... "You look handsome as always Master Austin.""What happened to calling me your dear Austin?" I teased."You're a grown man now.""I still want to be called 'my dear Austin'..." I gave her a pout."Ohhh I know that pout, caused me grief when you were a little boy. You were a big crier, such a big baby." She chuckled reminiscing.I appreciated my mother but I knew all too well that all she did was give birth and hand the child to Mrs. Brown to take care of. My mother had her good night's sleep while Mrs. Brown did all her motherly duties. My mother could not r
In he entered the kitchen with his Remington hunting rifle, he held it so close like an expert. A giggle followed behind him, I could not help but feel some sort of annoyance as I continued to cut the green peppers and onion."I could have sworn you were a professional.." She said softly followed by a giggle. Her voice reminded me that of a child, a little girl.Anything Austin did, she was wildly impressed. She held onto his arm as she continued to serenade him with compliments. With the hatred I felt for him, I'd never take pride in complimenting him. I saw him as a vulture, a hyena that preys on the helpless and already dead."My best mates father Joshua Gallagher used to take us hunting as kids. I could have done a better job honestly...""Those helpless birds were lucky then." She smiled dreamily watching him."I would not have wanted to look murderous with a stunning lady in my presence.."With a pink tint on her cheeks. "You look rather handsome and invincible in such a sta
"I told you, he was as friendly as could be..." Thomas said taking a spoonful of his food.For the first time, I felt the urge to roll my eyes at him.For someone whom I had been missing so much, I only felt nothing but annoyance.Would they still think Austin was a saint if I told them about all his deeds... how he had sneaked in and invaded every bit of privacy till I could practically breathe the same air as him. For something meant to disgust me, how scared and fearful I had been...I found myself wishing I had given in. I found myself, waiting for him to budge through the door and start a squabble with me for what so ever reason that it would land him in between my thighs.I gulped down a feeling of guilt when I looked at Thomas who could not stop letting me know about horse facts that I had no interest in knowing.He looked at me adoringly and assured me he missed me so much.I missed him as well..."Merri?" My brother called, I diverted my attention to him.It was as if I exp
"I told you, he was as friendly as could be..." Thomas said taking a spoonful of his food.For the first time, I felt the urge to roll my eyes at him.For someone whom I had been missing so much, I only felt nothing but annoyance.Would they still think Austin was a saint if I told them about all his deeds... how he had sneaked in and invaded every bit of privacy till I could practically breathe the same air as him. For something meant to disgust me, how scared and fearful I had been...I found myself wishing I had given in. I found myself, waiting for him to budge through the door and start a squabble with me for what so ever reason that it would land him in between my thighs.I gulped down a feeling of guilt when I looked at Thomas who could not stop letting me know about horse facts that I had no interest in knowing.He looked at me adoringly and assured me he missed me so much.I missed him as well..."Merri?" My brother called, I diverted my attention to him.It was as if I exp
With so many temptations, I did not indulge. With so many offers and approval from the innocent catholic girl that my sister had assumed she was, I still refused to give in or go farther. For a moment, I thought maybe just maybe I was overthinking everything.All I needed to do was apologize to Merrigold for my behavior suppose try to base a new happy friendship which would be extremely difficult because I by far did not see her as a friend. She was below me, she could never be a friend. Infact I had just enough friends.I wondered how William had done it...I would not let him know, afraid he would laugh at me in the face for being so pathetic and insanely of unsound mind.I needed to be home, I needed to be there... where she was. I felt annoyed with the mindless chatter going on. I excused myself, letting them know; I felt sick... sick of their faces. Well, no I actually said a fever because my sister did not take any sort of bullying even from me.It was the first time I had
A tad bit distracted with work, she peaked her head in through the door.She did not mutter a word but I was aware of her presence, aware of her fine and dandy whiff. Merrigold, admittedly made me excited. She was different than any other negro I had ever encountered.She did not bow her head when I walked by or treat me with the respect I needed. I found that attractive, I found it attractive how stubborn she was and how I had to teach her to submit to me, she would eventually. I had gone off far the rails with the way I had started everything. If I was a tad bit nicer to her we'd see how that would work out."Sir, you have mail...from lady Harriet, her butler dropped it by." She said, for many reasons she refused to call me Master and I had noticed she preferred sir. That certainly wouldn't have a good ring to it when we finally indulged in this foolery of lust between us. The tension was clear and building up. I could see it in the way I caught her eyes searching for mine whe
I found myself feeling anxious. I had to feel anxious, panicked... I had rightfully made demands as if I had what he was looking for as if I was a virgin. A part of me did not want to regret that night with Thomas, I did not want to be that shallow. Thomas and I had been happy, I had even started to forget about my sinful thoughts and need for that devil.I felt sick to my stomach, I felt disgusted with myself.Not only had I agreed and made my demands but I had let him kiss me in the most intimate manner.I swallowed a huge lump of guilt.What was I doing when had my life become so complicated? Ever more I had just done something unforgivable and so unlike me. Opening the envelope, I made sure everyone had left before I sneaked into his office and took Lady Harriet's letter. Surprisingly he had left it in the trash can, just as he had instructed me to.Why did I yearn to know what they did or what they—If I said a smirk had not graced my lips when Austin admitted to being bored
Dear Austin/Master Austin(However you would like me to address you)You summoned me to put in writing how many lashes I deserve? Deserve? I deserve none. I refuse for you to bully me into oblivion. I have cried enough, I've been upset enough, I've taken enough insults and felt the guilt that I should. I have come to realize that I have done absolutely nothing wrong, you came into my life and demanded my virginity, it was never something I promised you. You somehow make it seem as if I was promised to you from the day I was born, I fail to understand what has angered you so much to treat me the way that you have.If the tables had turned, it would not matter. If the tables had turned like how you sleep with Lady Harriet then expect me to be pure, that is hypocritical of you. I expect nothing of you, you're nothing to me. You have done nothing but make me feel shameless for something that should not even matter.My answer is I do not deserve any lashes. I will not take any and I refuse